An old English saying dating from the 1720s, "it never rains, it pours", means if you suffer one misfortune you're often beset by a series of disasters. This saying was adapted in a 1914 US advertise for a company selling salt so well packaged that the salt would never get wet and clog, hence the slogan "When it rains, it pours". Everybody gets those times when everything goes wrong, only I've notched it up to "When it Snows". Lots of profanity and healthy sex between wrinklies.
Henry was adopted by a alien invader at age 14. He is now 15, and only aware of the adoption in his sleep. The alien is no bigger than a breadbox, but sufficiently sized to fulfill its invader title.
Warning! The available story codes do not match this story very well. It was written for the Christmas contest, but it included some content that disqualified it. Rather than change the story, I am withdrawing from the contest. Please bear in mind that this story may offend everyone that reads it, but there is no malice in my comments and you may feel free to take pot shots at me in order to even things out. My goal is to make you laugh--not to piss you off. Enjoy.
When you are just minding your own business and not bothering anybody, sometimes it's easy to miss the clues. Here's my advice. This story was first published in a magazine, November 2010.
Hercules was sitting in a bar with a friend when he told this story of how he acquired a magical sword. There is a giantess involved, and she is looking for sexual relief. Hercules may just be able to supply what she needs. This is one of Hercules' most dangerous adventures, yet it seems to have been overlooked by academia and the general public.