Boy: “We love each other, right, Mom?”

Mom: “Of course we do, sweetie.”

Boy: “How about we prove it? Dad said he’d be late.”

Mom: “Prove what?”

Boy: “Prove we love each other. You know, in bed.”

Mom: “You can’t be serious.”

Boy: “You and me.”

Mom: “Uhh, it’s special that you’d want to, hun, but...”

Boy: “You want to, too. I can tell.”

Mom: “I’m your mother!”

Boy: “We love each other, right?”

Mom: “Of course, but...”

Boy: “You pretty much said you’d let me.”

Mom: “I’ve done no such thing!”

Boy: “Watching that video in our PJs and going to sleep.”

Mom: “What about it?”

Boy: “The one I chose is to test you with. This boy and his mom prove they love each other, remember?

Mom: “I went to sleep before that part.”

Boy: “And I undid your top”

‘Maybe, but I was asleep.”

Boy: “We could have proved it then.”

Mom: “You think that just because we saw that movie?”

Boy: “You checked me out this morning.”

Mom: “I did what?”

Boy: “When we were taking stuff out of the car.”

Mom: “It was an accident.’

Boy: “That’s why you felt it. To know if I’m old enough.”

Mom: “Well, you’re not.”

Boy: “Give me your hand. See?”

Mom: “Doesn’t matter. It’s not OK.”

Boy: “It’s how you prove you love each other.”

Mom: “Yeah, but...”

Boy: “You love him right?”

Mom: “We’re married.”

Boy: “So we’ll call it a date.”

Mom: “A date?”

Boy: “I could take you to a movie, or something.”

Mom: “And make out?”

Boy: “Or we could just hang out around here.”

Mom: “And do what?”

Boy: “Same thing. Prove we love each other.”

Mom: “Fat chance.’

Boy: “Just accidentally.”

Mom: “Accidentally prove we love each other?”

Boy: “Exactly. You’re getting like you get when we play tennis, how I know you want me to prove it”

Mom: “It doesn’t mean anything. They just do that sometimes.”

Boy: “Like when we watched that video. Shall we go to your room?”

Mom: “Absolutely not!”

Boy: “If Dad shows up, I’ll have more time to escape.”

Mom: “Maybe for that reason.”

Boy: “Let’

Mom: “What are you doing?”

Boy: “Your buttons.”

Mom: “Don’t”

Boy: “And your bra.”

Mom: “You can’t just...”

Boy: “You always let me peek at breakfast. They’re really nice.”

Mom: “They’re nothing special.”

Boy: “Now your skirt.”

Mom: “You can’t just...”

Boy: “Now your panties.”

Mom: “Give them back!”

Boy: “Just relax. I already know what you look like.”

Mom: “You do?”

Boy: “You don’t close your door when Dad’s gone.”

Mom: “Sometimes I do. Put your clothes back on!”

Boy: “You can touch it.”

Mom: “I’ll do no such thing!”

Boy: “It’s OK?”

Mom: “For your age, anyway.”

Boy: “I got a rubber.”

Mom: “A what?”

Boy: “I’ll put it right where we can get it. You on top might work better. I’ve never done it before.”

Mom: “When a girl says no, that means no.”

Boy: “OK, me on top so you can tell Dad you said no.”

Mom: “He can’t find out you tried.”

Boy: “Totally agree. And he really, really better not find out we probed it.”

Mom: “This is your idea.”

Boy: “Yours, too, now that we’re together. I won’t go all the way in if you don’t want to.”

Mom: “You better not go any of the way in.”

Boy: “OK, just part way. I don’t think I have to go all the way in to prove we love each other. This much?”

Mom: “Maybe.”

Boy: “Maybe this much?”

Mom: “Just this once.”

Boy: “Am I doing OK?”

Mom: “Maybe a little slower.”

Boy: “Like I said, maybe you should be on top.”

Mom: “Roll over.”

Boy: “You’re the boss.”

Mom: “I’ll do the work. Don’t come.”

Boy: “You got my word.”

Mom: “You can hold me, though. Yeah, like that. Ready?”

Boy: “Ready as I’ll ever be!”

Mom: “You’re not going to come, remember?”

Boy: “Right’

Mom: “Not inside me, anyway.”

Boy: “Right”

Mom: “You’re doing good. It’s really important, though, that...”

Boy: “I need to prove it.”

Mom: “Uh...”

For sure we love each other, right?”

Mom: “Did you...?”

Boy: “Sorry, Mom. Sort of got carried away.”

Mom: “I told you not to.”

Boy: “I said I’m sorry.”

Mom: “You should have put on that rubber.”

Boy: “I thought you were going to show me how.”

Mom: “Oh.”

Boy: “Don’t worry, Mom. If we made a baby, Dad will think it’s his.”