Joe Diffie sings a song called "John Deere Green", about a water tower and the message painted on it: Billy Bob loves Charlene. Mr. Diffie heard about that water tower and thought it would make a good song. He just was never told the whole story. Now, in the words of Billy Bob himself, the secret of that water tower and that message and how it affected everybody in town is being told.
Rob and Teri have been friends for years and grew up spending lots of time in the Sycamore tree reading in the treehouses they built. Now, in the very top of the tree, something happens and, as the wind blows, they give each other their virginity.
A Take Me Out to the Ballgame Story Bob Crandall thinks he's met the girl of his dreams: She's gorgeous, she loves baseball, and, like him, she plays third base with flair and skill. It seems like a match made in heaven -- only his dream girl, Patti Wyman, has a few problems that are slowing her down in the romance department.
"Captain," she said her head lowered, "I know I'm a little young, but do you think you could, I mean perhaps you could spare some time to."
"Come on girl spit it out," I said sharply.
"Well I've never done it before," she said, "and it would be the coolest if I could do it here, you know, my first time going at warp 2 in a 300 series."
I just stared out into space, not knowing what to say for she was a wanker's dream.
A father learns his married daughter's secret while staying at her house. It pulls them apart until she comes to his house and they open a new chapter.
Henry Giddings has a problem that's always been there. It's his oversized penis. To his dismay, only middle-aged or overweight 'size queens' have shown any interest in becoming intimate with his equipment. Through no fault of his own, he's not attracted to 'big' girls, or 'experienced' women nearly twice his age. In the early 1980's, his job takes him to the town of Cactus, TX, where he meets a wholly remarkable young woman. ***EXPECT A SLOW START, SOME ROMANCE, AND SPANGLISH***