Sally Gervais was only eight years old when her parents took her to an isolated island in the South Pacific. Now she's a 20-year-old orphan, alone on the island and in need of rescue.
Joe Diffie sings a song called "John Deere Green", about a water tower and the message painted on it: Billy Bob loves Charlene. Mr. Diffie heard about that water tower and thought it would make a good song. He just was never told the whole story. Now, in the words of Billy Bob himself, the secret of that water tower and that message and how it affected everybody in town is being told.
Rob and Teri have been friends for years and grew up spending lots of time in the Sycamore tree reading in the treehouses they built. Now, in the very top of the tree, something happens and, as the wind blows, they give each other their virginity.
A Take Me Out to the Ballgame Story Bob Crandall thinks he's met the girl of his dreams: She's gorgeous, she loves baseball, and, like him, she plays third base with flair and skill. It seems like a match made in heaven -- only his dream girl, Patti Wyman, has a few problems that are slowing her down in the romance department.
"Captain," she said her head lowered, "I know I'm a little young, but do you think you could, I mean perhaps you could spare some time to."
"Come on girl spit it out," I said sharply.
"Well I've never done it before," she said, "and it would be the coolest if I could do it here, you know, my first time going at warp 2 in a 300 series."
I just stared out into space, not knowing what to say for she was a wanker's dream.
A secretly wealthy butler seeks a wife among the upper classes. He rapes one and seduces another, impregnating both, before selecting a third. A love story.