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And other stuff.... I'm finding that I can't get parts for my car 😑 whi, given the price of fuel is unfortunate. Because I own the car, so insurance and repairs are my main expenses, other than fuel, which at kalifonikated prices is a concern. Also I currently only have net access via my phone,so I'm going to end this blog.
So, if I make no moves they will be forced on me. In this case the apartment I'm renting has been sold. I've cleared it of my gear, or belongings and shall turn over the key in a few days....
Wish me luck....🤔
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There is no such thing as not making a decision.
Damn in a way that is so simple, yet it is something that I've avoided acknowledging all my life. So, the question is, which way to move? 'Cause I must move and soon.
I could try to thrash out the pros and cons of various moves here but I shan't.
I do know one thing, not writing in about three years, except for this blog has caused me to be creatively 'constipated' so to speak. I can almost feel the intense urge to create at every level here, yet it takes time to unwind enough to let it out when I'm so physically, and yes psychically exhausted.
So, I must change jobs. I must change places of living. Neither will be comfortable, but where I am (as Jordan Peterson put it) is killing me.
My usual reaction to perceived danger is to freeze. Either figuratively or literally. So every bit of transportation I can lay my hands on (that I own outright) is in need of repair or replacement. Now even if I lived in the center of a city and could walk to my work (which I've done in the past) a car of my own is pretty much an indispensable piece of equipment. In a city as far flung as Redding Ca it is pretty much a necessity to have an auto of some sort. I don't really have enough ready cash to replace one of my beaters, and while repair is probably doable, there are issues with that, in that I was really trying to put away enough to upgrade my transport.
I've got family problems, and I won't say that my intention to maintain an apartment in Redding hasn't exacerbated them, but I'm not sure that I could actually move in with my mom with no escape hatch. We're both magpies (collector birds) and tend to be messy ones as well... So I'm in her way (or she's in mine) and that makes things tough.
I don't like my tendency to freeze. I see it as rank cowardice. After all if I could face it I could meet new people who might have ideas of what I can do about increasing the size of my shovel (Dave Ramsey) by having contacts that might give me clues as to where to look.
I know I shouldn't be so angry with my oldest sister, she has a job she considers her calling and the fascisti in the govt have tried to force that job to provide medical benefits if she has a full time job. Full time being defined by the fascisti as 30 or perhaps less hours (not sure what it is exactly per the 'law') a week (to capture what used to be part time employees) The international owners (I've worked for such places too) have no intention of paying benefits for their employees (or like walmart of paying more than minimum wage) so they schedule less that 20 hours a week so they can call their most reliable employees in of 'extra' but never get over whatever the govt has defined as 'full-time' for which I can't blame them in a way, after all they do actually have to make a profit. Not making a profit is only a bit of fantasy encouraged by the govt, an organization (person) that doesn't make a profit is dead, and profit for someone/thing else.
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