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Hot Tub Surprise by Emerald Enchantress

Author's Description:
One night, I had a surprise in mind for my boyfriend - and my best friend helped ;)
Size: 13 KB ( ~ 2,465 words)
Genre: Erotica
Sex Contents: Stroke Story
Tags: Ma/Fa, Consensual, Romantic, Heterosexual, Fiction, First

Review by The Black Knight   [other reviews by The Black Knight]

Reviewed: 2007-11-19

This isn't the type of story I'd normally read, but I thought I'd try a new author out. Having done so, I must say, the newness of the author is apparent.

Technically, the story has serious problems. While few, if any, non-existent words are used, multiple times the wrong or unintended words appeared. More problematic was the story's continuous shifting between past and present tense. Lastly, it also contained grammatical errors. In short, the editor should have caught much of this... but I don't know that there was anyone serving as such.

As far as the story content, it seemed a fairly standard stroke piece, so expecting much in the way of plot or characterization isn't terribly realistic. It seemed like just enough was there to make the story work, for those who it will work for. I noted that the coding of the story was incorrect, although I expected the girl-on-girl content from the synopsis, so anyone who has a problem with that really shouldn't be surprised.

In all, I believe this to be an obvious early work. Hopefully, in time, the author's skills will continue to develop (and an editor will sign on) resulting in improved writing. I can't say if it will result in stories I'm more likely to enjoy, but there's hope.

Plot: 7 | Technical Quality: 4 | Appeal to Reviewer: 6