1 Stormy Monday by Onagerian Surmise


Description: The story of Barbara Taylor and her son Bobby. Watch as they build a new life together. Will Bobby's first love endure, or be pulled apart by the temptations and evil schemes of others? Will Barbara find a love that will fulfill all her needs? And will Bobby ever play baseball again? (3rd Place, Golden Clitorides 2006 Best Story by a New Author.)
Size: 1336 KB ( ~ 253,345 words)
Type: Incest
Sex Contents: Much Sex
Tags: Ma/Fa, mt/ft, mt/Fa, Fa/Fa, ft/ft, Teenagers, Romantic, Incest

Review by orangeade   [other reviews by orangeade]

Reviewed: 2011-10-12 - (Review Updated: 2011-10-12)


One has to admire Onagerian Surmise for making his first stab at erotica the 91-chapter "Stormy Monday."

It takes courage to go right for the long-form story, and all the challenges of managing a complex plot and a large collection of characters. In the most important areas, he succeeds, and with his ongoing publishing of its follow-up, "Stormy Sequel," his first story is likely to experience a resurgence of downloads.

The story centers around the lives of Barbara Taylor and her son, Bobby, as they cope with life after the sudden death of her husband and his father. Although largely a teen romance, the tale does follow parallel paths, as Barbara looks for ways to build her family and expand her sexual horizons, while teenager Bobby deals with all those new feelings, with a cast full of admiring females.

Onagerian Surmise hits all the right notes for solid teen romance/erotica. There's plenty of angst, a few downright evil characters getting in the way of things and lots of sexual discovery. The author creates credible relationships and intriguing story lines, shows a flair for dialogue and evenly manages a large cast.

But one might wish that the story could be tackled again by the caliber of writer that Onagerian Surmise has since become. The biggest problem is sex, or rather the number of scenes that go into great detail. This probably played a lot better when the story was in serialization, but now that it's available in its complete form, the temptation is great to skim a number of the lengthy scenes to get back to the plot.

Then there's the matter of an apparent continuity error late in the story, with the teenage characters seemingly all advanced a year in school. If you don't think about it too hard, though, it's not a problem.

But one can forgive a first-time writer for not coming up with perfection, and "Stormy Monday" is still an engaging story that any lover of teen romances will want to stick in their reading queue.

Plot: 9 | Technical Quality: 8 | Appeal to Reviewer: 9