Uncle Stories

I had no parenting skills at all, so I have no idea why my sister asked me to stay with her daughter while mom and dad went off the Europe on a business trip. My niece was incorrigible. She snuck out to a party. She got drunk. She had sex! I had to do something, but I had no idea what to do. So I did what my dad did when I screwed up. I beat her bare ass. Who would have known she'd actually LIKE that?! And it all went downhill from there. All because I had no parenting skills.

I always thought my Uncle Bob was kind of hunky and sexy. He'd been a gymnast in college and was still in great shape. When I asked him to teach me gymnastics he said that, at fifteen I was a little late getting started, but he'd let me exercise with him to get in shape. It turned out that exercising with him was intimate, but I didn't mind. He peeked down my shirts and I peeked up his shorts. Eventually, he taught me how to love a man with all my heart, even if I couldn't marry that man.