Pete Fox: Blog

Dear Readers, thank you for reading Brothel Night over the course of the 7 chapters the score went up, down and up again as the ‘night progressed'. That story was my longest effort to date. As I wrote before when I started, I had no idea how it would end and who the main characters would meet along the way. I'll admit to being a bit tired when I finished but it was fun to explore and create some new characters.

Just a note about the young people in the story. The events capture a moment in time for a few hours. You should assume they have all same emotions that teens today face from body image to self esteem to the constant battle of hormones. You can bet among that room of girls they were not all friends. There were also different reasons for attending and goals. Some of which I tried to shed light on in the fictional world a few years hence.

I do try and keep my stories as grounded in reality as possible. If I get a little wordy it is because I think these pages are great place to explore the ‘what if’ along with moral and ethical questions. I have stayed away from stating what I think the political landscape will look like in 2029 but I believe it will be more conservative in governance but continue to be more liberal socially.

Looking ahead there is a new shorter 3 chapter story that will post in the next week. Expect to see it start to drop Monday. Zack goes on a date with… It’s a fun to the point story that also moves the story along the timeline. The last to drop on Friday will be an epilog that updates a few other things that have happened as the school year ends.

I do appreciate feedback from readers.

Chapter 5 of Brothel Night has posted. After the final chapter there will be a epilog wrapping up some loose ends. Still have to write it.

First positive and constructive feedback is appreciated. I got a couple of positive messages and a bunch of new followers. If you enjoyed the story and/or would like to hear more on a character story line feel free to message me. It helps.

When I decided to write this story about a high school brothel, I had no idea how to do so. It took months of false starts. Usually on where to begin. When I started I just knew it would have 4 main characters, Zack, his dad Brock, Lisa/Mrs Strong and of course Hannah. Once I started, I just let the story go where it went. I found characters and story lines along the way. I had never tried to write a story with this many characters and visual cues to describe. Thankfully after Chapter 1, Steven volunteer to edit and really made the story smoother and better, seeing the works promise.

For me and like many mainline authors I read, I just set out on a journey of discovery not knowing where it was going. So if at points it feels like I am finding my way, I was. I decided to add a mysterious backstory. The original author of the Sex Date series posted his stories under an incest tag and I continued the tradition, adding incest spice. The bi scene with Zack, Bethany and VP Burns that was a surprise to me too, it just felt right in 2029 there would be a more open environment though not an interest in mine to write more than what I did. Same with Danika's incest scene is just happened.

So there are a lot of new characters, hence the character list. Any future story will focus less on Hannah and move into Zacks very complicated world.

Again thanks for reading and positive creative feedback helpful as the scoring system can be all over the place in judging if the story is being enjoyed. In the end I write for myself telling a story I want to read and have bouncing around in my head. Heck who would not want to go to this high school if you could.

I just started releasing Brothel Night. An idea that I have had for a long time. Took me a few months to figure out how to write this story. I wrote 30 Word pages in about a week at the end of the summer. I also shared it with EazinAlong who had the original idea.

I also decided I was not creating art, just a fun story so stopped messing around and pushed it out. I have three more chapters not including and ending to publish this month.

Update since I posted the first chapters an editor volunteered to take a pass at it. Thanks to Steve for improving the work.

As to the girls outfits I was inspired by Black Fox Lingerie, search it out if interested in seeing the outfits, they also do photography.

I did get distracted by writing some Wheel of Time Fanfic over on Ao3 after I listened to the first book in the last week.

There will be more chapters possibly chp 2 this week followed by 3 that just need work. Any constructive feedback appreciated.

Readers just a short update.

An author I like an follow Peter Duncan (great works of his own) took it on himself to work over some syntax in my story Massage with Friends which he felt could have a higher score with a little clean up. I took his edits and followed up with my first stab at using free Grammarly program. It woks. So that is updated. Thanks Peter.

I also got a bug in my pants to look again at Dutch Daughter. A story I rewrote from another author that I always liked. I ran it through Grammarly and made a few detail additions. That has an update as of today. Maybe a part II in the future.

Lastly I finally used this program a third time on a Star Trek Picard fanfiction I have had with me for a year. Its a stoke story. Don't look for plot. You need to be familiar with the show.

I continue to work on details and improve my own spelling and grammar.

Enjoy.

My previous post 'Suspending disbelief - Writers get your details correct', hit a nerve. In a good way. I want to condense a couple of points that were the gist of the 10 or so replies.

Yes please, accurate details mater to the story is the main comment. To many stories on SOL fail in this area was the consensus. When a writer takes the time to supply accurate details the story tends to be better received. Main issue, failing to check easily verifiable information or to simply provide the information. It feels lazy. Again, trust comes into play. By supplying believable factual details that support your plot (or
fictional world) you build trust with your reader. Once the reader see's you care and have gotten real world details correct the suspension of disbelief is more likely. I believe the reader will accept your plot or premise no matter how far out if you ground the story in checkable details. Let's face it there are a lot of far out plots on SOL so the more we do to help the suspension of disbelief the better.

There are two sides to the coin. Writers who don't bother, saying details don't mater (that is the sound of me moving on to the next story in my Q). The other, too many details. I call this the 'sharing all your research and knowledge' that can have the effect of slowing down the flow or distracting from the plot. (I recently read a story, excellent writing, on SOL where half of the dozen chapters were on physics and math most of which had little to do with the story). Find the balance, think of the reader. Do the details add to the story?

But what do you do when you get the details wrong? I think as a writer if the detail is important to the overall story make the correction. I don't sweat the small mistakes I read, but it is the cumulative effect of many small ones or a big one or two that kills that suspension of disbelief. As a reader we expect the writer to do the work if you want our time. That is the feedback I received. The SOL writer Lubrican has a rule that a month after he publishes he reposts/updates again after he has received feedback to catch detail and other mistakes. Good policy.

A couple people spoke about another detractor bad grammar and spelling. I raise my hand as an offender. I would agree this can be a problem. So writers should take the time to do the basics of spelling, grammar and reading up on things like how to write dialog. It was suggested the free version of Grammarly is a good tool. I have learned a lot from editors and feedback on my few tries at erotica. There are a lot of easily fixable preventable mistakes. I do make corrections when informed but grammar is not my strength.

Another argument sent to me was that plot is more important along with strong characters than details. I would argue that plot and good characters supported by a few good details will make for a great story.

The bottom line from feedback is that readers want good details. They expect writers to do the work to check to makes sure they have their details correct. When the writers fails on the details the story fails and the reader walks away most often.

I will end with two of my favorite writers on SOL as they always post quality work. Both these writers get details correct but are also excellent at 'setting the scene' painting with words so to speak where we are going to spend time.

First Lubrican who I wrote a story based off his Prick Van Winkle epic. He does details better than well most anyone. We exchange some email and his comments on dialog were very helpful when I wrote my story based on his. A link https://storiesonline.net/s/49486/prick-van-winkle?ind=1 . All his works are good and he takes feedback.

The other melanieatplay, she has about 20 stories posted she writes mostly about the Las Vegas area. She does a fantastic job of giving the reader details they need to set the stage and see the story. I loved her short story placed in 1960 Las Vegas, https://storiesonline.net/s/22175/an-evening-at-the-copa . Again she takes and appreciates feedback.

I would love to hear about any other authors that you think do the details well. I might do a third post capturing a few to help the reader who is looking out.