Omachuck: Blog

One of the many good things about joining the Swarm authors' discussion group is that we read, edit, proof, and comment on stories in progress. As such, seeing a gem develop, and actually having a small part in it, is a gift.


I loved Zipper D. Dude's Lisa from the start, and watching it improve with each iteration was enlightening. Yes, the story is very dark, but so is much of Anne Frank's diary. I would not put Lisa on the same level of writing, but it is an amazing look into the head of a suffering young teen. http://storiesonline.net/s/13672/lisa


Zipper has taken on tough, dark views before - notably in The Concert - and the story ratings are lower than I personally think they deserve. http://storiesonline.net/s/10240:i


I often tell my friends that I'm long past wanting books and movies for adrenaline or social issues, I want to be entertained. Period. You may not like Lisa, but this is one you should read anyway.


If you do, you should really give Zipper the courtesy of a comment on why you like or dislike it. A lot of thought, effort, and talent went into this one, and he deserves the feedback. And if you drop me a line about what you think, that would be good too.


I should note, that the first upload of the story was mangled towards the end. The second upload was fine, so if you read it shortly after the initial submission yesterday morning, you probably should take another run at it.

Chapters 20 & 21 are in the queue and should magically appear after 7 PM tonight.

When we last saw Michael his plans to make Carole head bitch were rudely cancelled when she scored a sponsor level CAP. What will they do?

We also see Michael's ladies starting to assert themselves even more, and both Sam and the Confederacy AIs feel they may have been snookered. Oh well.

Folks, the final two chapters will post on Sunday. It has been a fun run, and your feedback has been very helpful.

There was a nice little jump in my score since Tuesday's posting, and I almost regret submitting the two chapters together. I couldn't tell if it was the significant change Michael negotiated in his contract, or his ladies' confrontation with the butter bar that tickled your fancy.

Your thoughts would be appreciated, but it might be good to wait until after tonight's offering, as there is more of the same coming. If you choose to write, and I hope you do, please be specific about what you like and do not. The sequel, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, is well under weigh, and every little bit helps.

Chapters 18 & 19 are in the queue for tomorrow - same time, same channel. I messed with the queue and two more chapters will load Friday and the final two on Sunday. It has been a fun ride.

Soooo.... It turns out that the Office of Targeted Extractions really, really wants Michael and his ladies. The question is - do they want to go? Negotiations ensue. Our Pixie surprises a butter bar. It is never dull around our little band.

Chapter 17 is in the upload queue.

Our little band, now somewhat larger, continues on and reaches Valentine. They meet some new folks and prepare to make some decisions.

The Sunshine of Your Smile met with a slightly less warm reception that my first two stories. That wasn't a surprise. I would be interested in a note from any of you why you did or did not like it as well.

I promised to edit/proof someone else's story, then I plan to get back and finish Girls Just Wanna Have Fun so there will not be too large a time gap when this story winds up and I am able to upload Girls.

Sunshine is in the queue to post tomorrow. I assume sometime after 7PM, but I thought today's revised chapter would post earlier. I was fooled.

Sunshine is a very short story - a vignette even - about one of the trials of working with an AI. Like with my other two Swarm stories, it is really a good idea to read other Swarm Cycle stories first.

For those of you wondering about my revision to eliminate the word 'fellows,' I uploaded the change today, along with a few small changes to chapter 16. So many of you suggested changes that were similar, I am dumbfounded that I couldn't come up with it on my own. The following is a synthesizes of different suggestions.

"I want you to know that nothing that has happened during your captivity was your fault. Your job was, and still is, to survive and to help each other survive..."