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I was inspired by a real life photo of a woman on a golf cart. She was holding up a cardboard sign that said "Mobile Glory Hole" with a hole in the center.
I imagined it was some place like the Villages in Florida where there is a large swinger community and most everyone rides around on golf carts.
There are entire communities built around nudism, and swinging there that inspired my HOA stories like Big Day at Sunny Manor.
I normally add Mike McGifford's short stories after I edited them and create a single picture for them to the Anthology of Kick Ass Stories we call "Proper Women".
It's mostly vignettes and short stories that have a nice start, middle and end. They are too good to end up on the trash heap when Mike decides they aren't good enough to publish.
Trust me when I say that he's thrown away better stories than I'll ever write.
https://storiesonline.net/s/31531/proper-women-an-anthology-of/12
However, tonight I wrote one of my own. I normally write much longer stories. I like to build my characters and have fun with it.
I've never written "Golf Erotica" before, but hopefully the golf parts of the story resonate as true to those of you who partake in it.
I could see returning to this scenario and fleshing it out. I'd love to see someone run with the idea.I certainly grant you my blessing to use the set up as the basis for a future story - it doesn't end the way you probably think it will.
The story begins in Sunny Florida, with two rich bitches that married for money. Their rich husband's sponsor an unofficial golf tournament they call the "Three Hole Tournament" for obvious reasons.
Karen and Holly are up for a dare, they are bored, rich and horny.
The loser has to hold that sign and offer free blowjobs.
However, the story takes some neat little turns and it was fun keeping it exciting. Short stories have a different pace and energy, no slow build, no pauses in the action to regroup.
I bring this story up in particular, because I've turned a corner in my AI art. I spent a long time making these. You may say "You just pressed some buttons" but there was more to it. I used inpainting, photo editing, upscaling, and had to use four different AI services to craft the pictures that I thought complimented the story.
Hopefully, you will enjoy them.
The reason
I need someone to simply read the story "Visiting Aunt Scarlet" as a proof reader.
https://storiesonline.net/s/23522/visiting-aunt-scarlet
If you are reading it anyway, that would be fantastic.
My friend who helps me does not like the context of the story. A woman and her son move in with her sister. Her sister lives a 24/7 functional bdsm relationship with her husband and also works out of her home as an escort. In the course of this story, it's really about the son's confidence/education on worldly matters as he grows to understand a different lifestyle.
I've written the story. all I need is for you to read it and tell me if you see any gaps, awkwarding or missing words. I use the internal email system. As an example:
If you see:
They were there at restaurant
You might quote the line and write
They were at the restaurant.
I use MS Word, Grammarly, and my own eyes to proof read and I can find issues in other people's stories like a hawk. in my own story, since I know what's supposed to be there, I sometimes blank it out.
I would be happy to do the same for you in exchange. It would also allow me to post much more frequently. I spend 3-4 hours on each chapter pre-post just editing.
I am a little exhausted of the NIS Program after writing 75 chapters. I am publishing as fast as I can get them edited.
The NIS Breeder Program was designed to produce a child in a future society where donors to the Program will adopt the children. It was to teach students about natural child birth, breast feeding, and also a dynamic power exchange relationship.
The main character is a mother, who agrees to obey her daughter for the entire time. She becomes the breeder and her daughter becomes the Trainer.
However, today it occurred to me that I could (or someone could) write a story about a Fight Club style high school.
Students will voluntarily agree to stage regular fights, some of which might be Sumo style, Wrestling, Kick Boxing, weapons, and reasonable requests could involve being able to take a punch, or having one's tits used as a speed bag. (fun bags).
I'd love to have the mothers be volunteers in the Program again because that was fun the first time.
Those of you who are reading the NIS Program, I'd love your feedback on whether that might be interesting. It'd be far more brutal and pain centric.
I tried to spend a lot of time at the start of NIS Breeder creating a plausible framework for this variation of the Program. A declining population + a society where public nudity is legal everywhere and sexuality/sexual expression is more main stream and not quite as taboo as it is now.
My original use for the main character's husband was to have him ask the questions that I thought many readers might ask. "What the hell does (shaking your tits or whatever) have to do with learning things in school? What about Math, Science and English? When do you learn that?
It might be fun to do a story like that or to inspire someone else to write one. I could imagine the first rule of NIS Fight Club is you actually have to TALK about Fight Club.
Body positivity, sexual expression, and self-defense rolled up into one Program. One of the Program's stated goals is to normalize fetishes, and one of them (for many) is watching women pull each other's tits, slap each other's faces and yank on each other labia while wrestling in the nude.
I once read a Japanese cartoon about a "Fight High School". There was very little context. A pretty girl shows up and some students beat the snot out of her with a baseball bat and then the next frame she is limping, naked, tits bruised.
If I did something like this, I think I'd take that approach to rough stuff, where no one ends up in the hospital with broken bones/missing teeth. Perhaps there is some medical technology that ensures that cuts heal quickly that allows the students to get beat up/dragged down without any permanent harm. I am not into permanent harm.
Let's face it, there is a lot of incest stories on this site.
It's all fantasy, no one's child hood is ruined. We are all adults. It's all just a fetish/fun.
However, any time there is a Holiday like Father's Day I always like to imagine what it would be like in a family that is well-adjusted enough to be open about their sexuality. Especially one that includes BDSM in their daily routine and have a bit of a hierarchy.
As an example, what would Father's day be like in a family where Dad is the Master. His sons are treated like Princes. There is a sign on the wall "Girls learn when butts burn" and "Boys rule, girls drool" and mom and daughters are submissive?
What kind of presents would he get? What would they do differently?
Or how about a family with a Cuckold father in a healthy dynamic Female Led Relationship. "Okay, today you get pizza"
"Just the crusts as usual, Dear?"
"No, you can have two slices with the rest of us, Henry. You've been a good boy. Happy Father's Day!"
If you are sitting around reading these stories and you've ever thought about writing. Why not start with a premise like that?
It doesn't have to be grammatically perfect. Just write and see what happens? That's how all the authors on this site usually start. We start "Somewhere".
We got inspired by the other authors and decided to visualize our fantasies and write them down. In my case, I get to live vicariously through Henry or the Master Dom-Daddy and experience their lives as I breathe life into their reality and share for others.
Speaking of Dom-Daddy's;
Mike McGifford started on a story about 4 years ago that I loved. It was called "Visiting Aunt Scarlet".
Mike's thrown away some stories he never finished that were better than anything I've ever produced. He is a brilliant writer. I collect some of his better half-finished projects and publish them in a short story anthology with illustrations after cleaning them up.
However, before I started scribing those down, I got a hold of this story. We worked on it together and he told me I could publish it. I wrote about two chapters and sort of painted myself into a creative hole. I didn't want to finish the story. Much to my chagrin it's sat in the unfinished pile for years.
Until NOW.
https://storiesonline.net/s/23522/visiting-aunt-scarlet
So for Father's Day, I present to you the HD version of "Visiting Aunt Scarlet". I've added illustrations. I've updated the grammar/spelling. I've also changed the velocity of the story. If you read it before -please start from scratch.
I am trying a new AI tool to illustrate persistent characters and it's not quite as good as the one I was using. However, the pictures are more realistic looking.
I've got six chapters posted. I plan to post up a seventh soon. I'll keep that story going to the end and post it alongside the NIS: Breeder Story.
The NIS: Breeder story is getting a lot of positive feedback. I really enjoyed writing. I merged about six or seven stories I wanted to write into a single idea and that's how I ended up with 75 chapters. Most chapters are between 12-15 pages typed, so this is absolutely the longest story I've ever published on SOL.
Today, someone told me I could put it on Bookapy. I am reminded of a quote.
"I love money..no, like I REALLY love money."
-Frito
I do love money, but at the same time I'd never charge for my work. I am not sure it's good enough to charge, and I like just sharing it with the world.
If you ever want to repay me, I don't ask you to join a patreon or send me anything. The best way to repay me is to be inspired by something I wrote and write something of your own.
Perhaps this weekend, you'll start on a good Father's day story?
I had a reader decide to send me a nasty gram about NIS Breeders that it had taken 19 chapters to tell the first three days of the story.
He said "Other than that, it's a good story".
Wow, talk about demotivational.
Imagine if I just skimped and summarized the days into a few paragraphs. He'd complain about that.
I spent a LOT of time really painting the world in which the characters live. I have been working on SHOWING instead of TELLING the reader things.
I've been enjoying being more descriptive about body language instead of only telling you what the character's emotions are. I've joyously described the character's relationships, the background, etc. to establish the foundation of what is one of the longest stories I've ever written.
For example, when Karen is very serious, I want the reader to get that from her body language and how she signs up for extra credit without hesitation. How she reacts to getting a reward of chewing gum for good behavior. Etc.
The first three days were crucial to build that up. One little easter egg you will note in this story:
In a lot of stories, the butterflies in the tummy appear whenever they get humiliated.
I increase these butterflies activity to the point they get on little Harley Davidson's and ride like hellions through her stomach burning and pillaging.
At some point, those butterflies grow quiet though as she starts to accept the reality of her new life and when they wake up it's Butterfly Armegeddon. That's an example of how I was trying to be more descriptive rather than just say "I was nervous" or "I was REALLY apprehensive and nervous" about something. I do that too, but I try to use more descriptors as I polish up the chapters to post.
I also create art for this story, more in the start to establish the characters. As the story progresses, there won't be as many pictures.
It's important to me that the reader understand the rules of the Program. I published the entire set of rules. I summarize those rules later, and spent time in the orientation showing the reader how those rules are put into practice.
Later in the story, I do skip ahead a few weeks, and then a few months and such. I didn't feel the need to be descriptive about the actual birthing process because it's frankly very clinical and while there can be tension, I didn't write the actual delivery. I worked on the scene, but it felt very unfun to me to write, so I assumed it would be unfun to read.
However, I wrote the events leading up to it and after.
There are 75 chapters. I am not even 25% of the way complete. I obviously will spread out the events after the foundation is complete to tell the entire story.
I will just say two things to the trolls.
1. I do this for free. You get what you pay for. Please don't troll me with comments and emails denigrating the story. It's an instant block. I am not here to debate, or argue. If you cant be constructive, put your email in the garbage.
2. Don't do that to any authors here. You aren't making things better. You are making things worse.
If you can't write a story yourself, your contributions of "your story sucks" only add to a general level of toxicity that still plagues this site. You get what you pay for and if all you do is pay in toxic behavior, then expect same in return.
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