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According to Reacher - Details Matter. Missing them can get people killed.
My stories are not for everyone. The context, the genre, the set up and even how I write. My stories appeal to a particular niche of dirty perverts that I genuinely appreciate.
I often say, "Am I the best writer?"
To which I answer NO!
Then I say, "But I am trying to be?"
Also, I answer "No!"
I will never have mainstream appeal. I do not try for that. It's not my target. To do that, I'd have to change what and how I write and write for someone other than me.
I write the stories I would want to read, how I would want to write them.
I've always had the goal that if I could inspire someone with my stories to write stories like mine, I'd win because I could have more to read.
I also believe that I should read as much as I write. This allows me to stay sharp as an author. I don't steal ideas, but I learn storytelling techniques through examples.
I try to polish my writing and make it pop with "Word pictures"
I don't get into "Decorative" writing, like AI slop or Danielle Steele. You know, "The wind picked up, and on the horizon, the dawn gently fell on my asshole." or whatever, I can't even write a serious example of it, but if you see it, you'll know it.
I write more JD Salinger Catcher in the Rye stream of consciousness. My technique could quite easily be called "Bullshitting".
You know when you are bullshitting with your old pal over a beer and telling them a story?
When I was a kid, my best friend and I managed to meet two hot girls roaming around on new years eve. We convinced them to come back to my old buddy's house and play strip blackjack, and drink some beers we had.
JACKPOT, right?
Not really, you see, we lost immediately and then didn't pay up. That wasn't how the story was supposed to go. It was supposed to end with bare titties and a blowjob at Midnight as our balls dropped, because that would be a clever turn of phrase and I like blowjobs and titties. I can still remember those girls, that night, and all the details. We kept walking up to the Little General (It was like a Circle K convenience store but cooler). You could buy cigarettes then without ID, pretty much. I got some Redman chewing tobacco because I didn't want to smoke, but I wanted to seem cool, and my grandfather chewed it.
Fuck, it's nasty as shit, and we got lightheaded from it and sick to our stomachs. I still remember the weight of the boom box I carried on my shoulder like a white boy imbecile, listening to Van Halen's "Maaarrrge your braking my hearttttt, you better starttttt...." and Bottoms up, Come on baby, Bottoms Up! I am singing, I am dancing!"
What a dipshit, I probably was. I remember those big ass D-batteries and how long they lasted. Rechargable? What the fuck for? These D batteries have been in this boom box since 1982.
Right? And if you ever did something like that, you remember it.
Now that I am old, all I have are thousands of memories about tipping a bottle of vodka straight up and chugging it like water until Bobby Glenn punched me in the stomach and then I puked everywhere in my best friends house - causing everyone to leave and throw me the fuck out of the party too. I still remember taking all my god-damned clothes off for no apparent reason and running my dumb ass through the golf course sprinklers. I still remember seling my best friend shake weed because he didn't know how much it cost, and wondering when he'd figure out it was mostly Oregano?
I can take a thousand strippers I worked with as a DJ, and a thousand flea markets and a thousand drunken adventures and all the crazy shit and merge those into authentic people that I want to write about. I can live through their eyes. I can go back in time and write how maybe it didn't go quite as pathetic as I remember it for my surrogate alter-ego in the story, and tell a story that will transport you with me to 1987, when Dinker and her friend were secretly little whores in those tight French cut one pieces down at the beach, and we dared them to streak around the downtown.
Bullshitting - is the method where I pretend that you are my old buddy. I am sitting across from you with a good beer and I begin "No shit, so there we were..." and I tell you what we did, and how we did it in a 1st person style that includes details, and introspection.
"I thought I'd see titties and pussy, but when she took off her clothes, I saw a dick bigger than mine!"
Right? That's fun, and all those little details about what song was playing when I did, and Wendy's salad bar having Pasta back then, and the size of that prick, and how it curved to the right - they aren't essential to the story.
If you are speed jerking, you don't need or want details. If you have a little attention span the size of my cock, then you don't want to be bothered.
When I tell a story though, In order to go back into that world, I have to see the sights and hear the words. I have to hear that music in the background, smell the elephant ears and beer on the midway, the sound of people laughing and the carnival barker telling me that he'll give me three for five dollars, and "Hey, hey, wait a minute, tell you what..for you, I'll do four for five dollars, look I'll make it easy. I want to give it away, man. I don't want to take these stuffed animals back with me. Come on, just play twice and if you still lose, I'll give you a prize, come on."
Does that have anything to do with the story?
Not the plot.
It has to do with the immersion.
A dear friend of mine helps me edit. I've seen him write well, but usually he writes dialogue like this;
"Hello."
"Yes."
"I am Leo."
"I am Mary."
"I adore you, Mary."
"Let's fuck."
"Okay."
Then we fucked for hours, and when we stopped, we laughed for a while.
"Hey, do you want to fuck again?"
"Yes, I do."
"I as well."
and I have tried my motherfucking hardest to help him the way he helps me by finding mistakes or making suggestions. He will pedantically tell me things like "Church mice aren't actually quiet" when I use a figure of speech, or that "Be back in a minute" he'll ask if it was really a minute. I once told him that they opened the porch screen door.
"Technically, you don't open it, you have to pull it in..." he said.
It's a DETAIL, right? So you would think he's detail-oriented. I spent an hour debating with him and showing him how that in some porch screen doors open out, others open in.
When it comes to writing though, he is in it for speed. He wants the facts, nothign more - no sweetners.
I once read a story about a director asking a screen writer about a scene he wrote. It was just dialogue like above.
"What are they doing?" The director asks.
"Having a dialogue," the writer responds
"Okay, but what are they DOING?"
and what he meant was while that's happening - are they moving around? how are they talking? is something happening? is anyone else there?
In my friend's story, that shit is for the reader to imagine and guess. I tell him it's like a crossword puzzle to me because after 20-30 of those short little dialogues with no attribution, I can't tell you who is talking anymore, I've lost the count.
More so, I've been denied the stuff I READ stories for as well. 80% of all communication is non-verbal. How was it said changes so much. There are people I've known who can arch an eyebrow and say more than I can say in four paragraphs of talking.
The actor who played the coach on the TV show Friday Night Lights (brilliant show, if you haven't seen it) Kyle Chandler plays the coach. He nails the coach's ability to do that with his expressions. That show took risks by letting the actors do their own dialogue and not use a script like Gilmore Girls that prides itself on its pithy phrasing and unnatural conversations (apparently).
A great example for me from that show is at one point the Coach and his wife are walking into a daycare and the wife says "You have to pull up on the little thingy," and shows him how to open the gate. "I..uh know how to open a god-damned gate," he says as he opens it.
FUCK, that moment. That moment right there is my FAVORITE SCENE IN THE WHOLE SERIES.
If I had to pick six seconds that completely encapsulate married life at that age, it's that fucking scene. It was ad-libbed, apparently the actress was giving him direction and being helpful, not intending to make it part of the scene. IF that's to be believed it's even more amazing because that summed it all up for me.
It had ZERO to do with the story overall.
It just made the characters more real. It took me to their world, and it made it feel less like a TV show of shit I will never relate to, and made them real to me. I've seen that scene happen, and I've been in that scene myself.
So when I am bullshitting on my stories, I might take a moment to paint a Bob Ross little tree off to the side, just as background. I want that little moment of how cluttered the house is and how it is lived in, how she smells, and I try to find the balance. I do not rush or hurry.
I'll probably never be appreciated because i wrote how someone in the pasture stepped in dog shit and that made that "Ew, I stepped in dog shit" face, or how the scumbag that ran the Matterhorn ride kept ogling the girls, and trying to keep the ride going after he saw them flash their tits once. "We were on there for an hour!"
"You better show your tits next time!"
There is a concept in story writing called "Chekovs Gun" that states that any detail that does not advance the plot, should be eliminated. I can understand red herrings that piss off readers. The TV show LOST did that by introducing plots or ideas and then just abandoning them. That's not the kind of detail I mean. I just want you to feel that feel inside the strip club with the AC blasting but it still smells like mildew, ass and cleaning supplies and how the day shift stripper looks bored as she bends over and presents her ass, not expecting a tip. I want you to taste that watered down drink, and hear the loud White Zombie warbling out of that speaker even though there aren't but two other motherfuckers in there with you.
When I am bullshitting, I try to show not tell. I try NOT to use the word I am describing in the description. You can't do it always, but giving you the non-verbal about how that stripper keeps looking to the left like she is high, or has a nervuos tic and putting you in that sticky-ass vinyl seat, at that wobbly table with a ashtray that hasn't been cleaned since 1993 is my goal as much as it is to present a plot and write believable characters in interesting situations.
The internet is a very interesting place, though. There are what I call "Arbitarians".
You can say you like Cherries and parfait.
"FUCK CHERRIES, THEY SUCK !!!"
You can say you like this or that, and you'll always find someone who doesn't like it. There are some people that I think are just wired to naturally hate what you like and vise verse.
I listen to a lot of AI music recently. I know - AI sucks. It sure does, and to those that think it's going to hasten the destruction of society, and lead to poverty and misery, I agree - but I will say this, AI sure knows how to jam!
I love sweet soul music, always have - Otis Redding, Sam and Dave, all that stuff.
I love old rock songs, old 80s songs, I've got a ton of eclectic favorites but around 1995 when I stopped working in strip clubs, I stopped following music. It seemed to all turned to Nickelback shit/3 Doors Down, and now if you ask me who is singing, I'd say "Fuck, I dunno, Katy Perry?"
But now, this AI stuff- they combine it. A lot of it is just some asshole with a Suno account who puts the lyrics and types "Hurr, soul music" and blippity-bloppity-bleep, and out comes a piece of shit.
They post that on Youtube and at first when I started searching on it, I would put anything in my playlist and think "Well, it's better then nothing"
Some uninspired Metallica Enter sandman sung by Otis Redding in a soulful way was novel. Nine more get made because these boring numb nuts can't think of anything to do except the same fucking nine songs (Nirvana Come as you are, ONE Nine Inch Nails song, etc)
BUT
https://youtu.be/T-rfu0p3ChY?si=MHzeW2OKPQGsTFbp
Just listen to this motherfucking jammy jam. This is created by Professor Nick Harrison. As far as I know, he's only a professor in kicking ass and taking names, and his license to take names expired, if you know what I mean.
This song is "My chemical romance" The Black Parade. I've heard it done before, but *NEVER* like this. This is not AI slop. This is fucking pure genius.
They say that it takes talent to sing, write music, and play musical instruments, and you won't get any argument from me.
But, the producers and arrangers do not usually do that. They hear the music in a way that elevates it, and that is what the Professor did on this track. You'll hear the scratch in the voice, the emotion. If this WERE a human singer, the producer would have been the one to arrange it - it's a different source, but the same skill required.
It's not just talent to make it. I am sure he didn't just type it into the AI and out this popped. This had to be arranged, and oh my god, I can't stop listening to it.
Now, I'll give you two more, and there is a reason for this. I am not trying to sell you on this music or start a moral debate on the merits of using it on existing songs.. I have an hour and a half commute one way each day. This shit makes me happy and makes me smile and even if its "Stealing from artists"
Not much makes me smile, so I'll fucking take this;
https://youtu.be/mxY9vWTcqW8?si=meGVhnsHcbQHI66_
This is pure fucking juice - out the bottle. I've ALWAYS hated Limp Bizkit. He was a man baby with a red hat, stomping around. The only thing he and I have in common is that I was pure white trash, too, and I love chocolate starfish as much as he did, apparently.
His song Roling is largely unlistenable to me. It's him hurping and durping about how great Limp Bizkit is in the third person. The only Kid Rock/Limp Bizkit macho dickheads running around in hammer pants at the county fair ever did for society would be to drop off the planet as far as I was concerned with his uninspired white boy rap.
But listen to what Happy Dasher does. Shit. The way he says "Tho your hands up" like a real singer might, the way he sings "Back up, Back up" to a different cadence.
https://youtu.be/1axXS_KgU8U?si=U770_Kd1vSPsnwnt
One last one, this is Creep by Radiohead. by my count, there must be at least 17 unspired versions of this song some shithead put on the Internet. This is a Disney version that is truly professional quality and clever as shit.
Here is the thing though, to me - this is the shit.
There are going to be other people on the Internet who think "FUCK THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and they will say taht some obscure horse-shit version of some song I've never heard arranged without change-ups is great.
So, there are people who like stories without rich, descriptive details. I suppose I could have said that there are people who like rich chocolate cake, and people who just want nutrients to absorb, and said pretty much the same thing. I have seen people gush over my friend's stories, so I know he writes for an audience that likes that.
Recently, he "Edited" my story and he removed my voice and basically made it soul-less.
Here is an excerpt
“Precisely,” Joy’s bubbly laughter didn’t come across cruel or wicked. She was clearly enjoying Mary’s embarrassment.
"Why are you making me... do this?" Mary asked out loud, looking straight ahead, with her fingers interlaced behind her head.
"Because it's fun," Joy said, stepping closer to adjust Mary's posture with a gentle push on her back. "And you're doing great. See how easy it is? Stand up straight, Bubble Guppy."
“If it’s so easy and fun, why don’t you get naked, Joy?” Mary scowled, but didn’t make any attempt to hide her lower body. She still wore a heavy gray sweatshirt with a House Hufflepuff logo on the front from Harry Potter, but nothing else.
dly
Is this the best writing in the world? As I said, no. I wanted you to see the Harry Potter sweater in your mind and know this chick would pick Hufflepuff instead of Gryffindor because she is the kind of chick who isn't a surface Harry Potter fan that went with mainstream. She went with the more thoughtful cutesy house. That's a DETAIL. That means nothing to the story; the sweater never appears again.
He wrote this and told me he was streamlining it;
o, now I have to strip completely naked anytime my brothers tell me to?”
“Precisely,” Joy’s bubbly laughter showed she was clearly enjoying Mary’s embarrassment.
"Why are you making me do this?" Mary asked.
I will never be that guy who likes the latter.
Today, I was supposed to be working on my stories, but instead I spent 3 hours on adding ONE picture of FIVE paintings showing a sequence of events where a woman marries a man, has a gang bang with a bunch of black guys and his best friend on their honeymoon, cheats on him constantly while they they are married, tries to kill or cuckold him (not sure which) and then they celebrate chopping her up in little bits. The story isn't even about that.
It's a painting inside a homemade haunted house intended to be macabre and illustrate their attitudes about women.
I sat there and put little details like I had her butt stuffed and taxidermied into an umbrella holder, and I put little "Well done" and "Rare" toothpicks into her tits, and I made sure the characters were consistent from painting to painting, and I put litle easter eggs in the pictures and call backs.
I did this because to me - that's the only reason to write stories. I want a creative outlet that lets me share my experiences but also live them with you, through the storyteller's eyes.
I almost never get feedback unless it's to tell me what a fuck up I am and drive me from the site. That's usually some entitled dick head karen troll that never contributes to the site and tries to run off authors that write stories they don't like by sending us snotty grams. It's the only power they have in real life, so they are fairly pathetic.
I might get a one sentence "Hey Eddie, when are you going to write the next chapter to your Twatmas story?" or but no intelligent conversation, no opinions, no feedback, no offers to brainstorm.
I've spent the last six months arguing simply that details in stories are actually good, so today I thought I'd just share my opinion. That's the point of a blog, right?
I work 10 hour days mon-fri, I owe more than I'll ever be able to pay back, It feels like I'll never get my masters degree at this rate (And I should be doing homework but naturally I am fucking around on pictures and blogs). I have an hour and a half commute, and a dozen or so stories half way finished that I should finish.
I cannot with the news. I simply cannot. Every day it's like this outrageous parody of reality, where people are laughign and fucking around building golden palaces while air traffic controllers have to work for free and using it like a game, and I just have to fucking go back to 1987 and write about some place, and some situation I'd much rather be in than this shit.
I could be wrong, maybe my writing details are irritating, boring, needless drek. I don't really want someone to send me that validation to piss me off. I am just putting it out there that even if it is - fuck you.
The only path I can be on where I write a story is if it has some details, some buttholes, some embarrassed nude females, some kinky shit. That's it - gotta have it.
But, sometimes you just wanna talk, and when you got nobody to talk with, then you just write a blog.
I haven't written a story worth publishing in a long time.
I have about 30+ that I haven't finished because I keep losing focus, and I don't want to go back to some of my earlier ones until I get the inspiration to finish them. I've been posting them on another awesome ENF forum, but this one is pretty much ready to publish. I need to edit, and I can't really stop adding to it, even though I think chapter ten could be a good finale.
I had the inspiration for Sailor Moo! during Halloween, looking at some of the expensive cosplay costumes on the teenage girls that came to my door for Candy.
https://storiesonline.net/n/52732/sailor-moo
I had the inspiration on Sailor Moo!
and before anyone asks if I am a registered sex offender, NO! I am not registered...)
:lol: ;)
Btw, not sure if you heard this statistic, because it's totally made up, but they say you have a 50% chance living next to a sex offender. Lucky I live next to a sexy 14 year old that loves to go topless and only charges 20 dollars an hour.
It's just starting out, so it's a slow start - I just have chapter one up on SOL as of this writing but it has illustrations. I think you may enjoy it. I wanted to explore gender roles/attitudes and have fun like my Christmas story.
The idea is Grandma accidentally ordered a Cosplay costume for adults called "Sailor Moo" a knock off of Sailor Moon. A plausible reality is that almost every costume marketed for women is slutty nurse, slutty whore, slutty teacher, slutty slut, slutty youtube influencer, slutty kardashian.
Well, the last one is redundant but you get the idea.
So, you are a full-figured teenage girl with big knockers - what can you wear off the kiddie rack? not much.
Ever been to Payless and seen a dad, that moment his teenage daughter goes from the aisle with the light-up Sketchers to the high heels because her feet are a normal size? It's fun to watch his realization as she sorts through all the sexy heels to find something to wear to school.
I just started it, and wanted to begin nice and slow before we push the race car's engine and see what it can do. There are a couple of illustrations. Don't get your hopes up that it will be chock full, but I plan to do a few more! I always love sticking easter eggs into the pictures and tweaking them - like nipples.
If this goes well, the next few stories will come soon enough. This is set in Girls Don't Need Modesty. I've got a dozen stories with overlapping themes to this one, but this one checks many of my boxes. I wanted a fun attitude for the characters. This world - this is just how it is. Boys rule, girls drool.
The idea is the less you have developed (small tits/small boobs), the less you have to hide, so you can run around nekked.
Obviously, though - when you are still in your growth spurt, you are still the age that can get away with being naked in public settings, but you kinda don't belong there. Ever been to the dog park with that 40 pound dog that's too small for the big dog section but too big for the little dog section?
Keep in mind, I do not advocate misogyny or the setting at all in real life. That should go without saying, but I said it
It's just a world to play in, like one of werewolves and vampires that only exists in the mind and nowhere else. I won't claim it's as lofty as Handmaid's tale in bringing to light the dangers of dystopian/authoritarian views on gender, but it could be "Handmaid's Tail" anyway.
More like Planet of the Apes, it's meant for entertainment of a world where tables are turned. When I was growing up, no one thought twice about stripping down a kid at the beach and washing them off before dropping us bare ass on a towel in the back of the big Mercury Monarch that had been baking in the sand been baking in the sun for six hours. Getting poked and laughed at by your cousin and wondering why her clit looks like a tiny penis/thinking it IS a tiny penis and your sassy aunt telling you "keep your fingers off yours AND hers, Eddie, or I'll snap a clothespin on yours and then you won't want anything touching it again!"
They let you play out in the yard in undies and panties. This is just an extension of that attitude that girls don't need modesty, because "meh, everybody's seen what you got" like they would about crying over showering in the gym. This is the world where Grandparents had a statue out in plain sight on a shelf of a guy with a trenchcoat and if you press the button his coat opens and his pee-pee sticks up, and another button whiskey came out.
It's a world like I want to remember, sometimes where people were not so fucking up tight and girls's PE shorts were like the ones you have to go to Hooters to see.
My theory that is based on peer reviewed stomach pain and countless documented disappointments related to Arby’s Prime Rib Cheesesteak, German Bratwurst on Pretzel bun, and assorted marketing gimmicks, is that Arby’s sandwiches are in fact the same shit on a different bun. This assertion is supported by qualitative and quantitative analyses drawn from consumer testimony, controlled taste comparisons, and a review of promotional menu cycles. Across all examined products, findings reveal a consistent core composition in both texture and flavor profile, with variation limited almost exclusively to the bun type and minor condiment adjustments. The recurrence of identical base components, paired with a statistically significant correlation to adverse digestive responses, suggests that perceived novelty in Arby’s marketing is primarily superficial, functioning as a rebranding of an unchanging culinary substrate rather than the introduction of genuinely distinct menu innovations.
I say all that, because I now believe that my Arby's theory can be extended to pretty much every day of my life, and everything in it.
I have a map pin with a doo-doo emoji in Google Maps over my local Arby's. I have a bad memory, so it's ostensibly there as a context clue to remind me never to go there when I see an ad and say to myself "Oh, Arby's has real smoked country style ribs™? Maybe this time it won't taste like horse's asshole with the turd still in it!!." and off I go to be disappointed again.
I remember growing up watching the news and seeing minor disasters, or layoffs, or a murder here and there. Now, I can't even watch the news because it's a constant cycle of tragedy, and as I get older, the Arby's sandwiches that life cooks up for me cost more than I can afford, somehow have less bun and more pain, and taste even shittier.
One of my solutions has to been to write stories.
I write so that I can see out of the eyes of my characters and live vicariously through them.
I introduce characters that are a hybrid admixture of people I once knew, in places I've once visited, at times I've once lived through that were not as Arby-ified. I completely Un-Arbified the situation by writing different outcomes for situations I once found myself in and playing "What if".
Not all of my stories are recycled real-life adventures, but one technique I've discovered to make writing authentic is to put yourself into the situation and be the eyes and ears of the reader; as a fly on the wall observing or one of the characters. Provide context clues as to what they are thinking without dropping a mountain of exposition on the reader's head to wade through. Take them on this journey WITH the character so they can enjoy the ups and downs of life without returning to Arby's to find out that they are out of Potato Cakes on the one day you were craving one of the few things that made going there worth a shit.
To extend my theory and put the ANAL in Analogy, there aren't many restaurants around me besides Arby. If I want anything to eat, I've got to pull up to the only counter serving. In my youth, I had a lot of places I could go to get something, and Arby's food wasn't half-bad. The sandwiches seemed bigger and fresher, and they were affordable.
I make quite a bit more than I did in my twenties, and I could NEVER afford to rent the SAME exact places I lived back in those heady days. I used to turn heads and get noticed. If I had the audacity to flirt with a woman now, that would seem creepy. I never learned to flirt in my twenties because girls came up to ME and flirted.
In my thirties, I was in the prime of my life. I guess that's the era when Arby's got into gourmet-style sandwiches and high-quality meats. The forty year old me was so ripped and jacked that I could have kicked TWO of my twenty-year old selves asses. I was too busy living life back then to write about it.
Now, in the immortal wisdom and words of the great Lynyrd Skynyrd ----- ALL I CAN DO IS WRITE ABOUT IT.
So, why don't I publish on here?
Well, since nobody asked, or gives a fuck, I'll tell you anyway.
I have about a dozen stories on my hard drive that are near finished. I get inspired and start a new one and tend to write only stories when I am inspired because the quality of the story is much better. I can knock out chapters quickly when I "free-write" and just sit down and get focused.
The problems are like Arby's sandwiches - too numerous to mention, and they are all basically flavors of the same thing.
The first is quite simply that I have no "muse". I have a couple of long-time friends on here that help me out, and without them, I'd have given up on this place a long fucking time ago.
The user community is largely the most toxic I've ever encountered. It's not 4chan trollboi level, but the forums feel like toxic waste dumps. If I ask for help, feedback, or comment, there will be one or two users there ready to pounce on me with negative shit, and an avalanche starts. My intent for an open dialogue and having a constructive exchange of ideas where we may take away a different perspective and even learn things is naive at best.
People may ask "You expected something like that on the INTERNET?" as they laugh.
It would be the same as expecting something other than stomach pain and disappointment by eating at Arby's.
The thing is - why keep going some place and expecting different results if you know it's never going to be like you remembered or hoped?
For one - it's pretty much the only place I know. There is another forum focused on Embarrassed Nude Females. I once touted how positive the community was, but I spoke too soon. The toxic trollbois popped out almost immediately like karma's little helpers to prove to me how silly I was to think that. I had a 29 chapter story in progress about a girl that wants to convince her family to have a nudist household which I was very proud of.
Unsolicited Comments like "Go outside and touch grass" and "You write boring stories" are common when you are an author. Pointless trolls who contribute nothing like Statler and Waldorf sitting in the balcony week after week throwing out snotty grams are common here. However, you can turn off commenting on stories and hit block when someone wastes your time sending you one.
On that forum, they get added to your story as you post it, permanently. It's like a commercial break in the middle of your favorite TV show to tell you what a shitty television show you are watching.
Let's face it, the only Anal I am doing lately is analogies, so to continue it;
It's like I am sweating in my garden to trim roses for people to smell, only to have to step in dog-shit every time I walk through it to tend to another plant. I have to read it each and every time I open up the forum post. The admins (to their credit) took care of the issue, but not before my creativity was drained and I shit-canned the stories. Every time I go back to those stories, I think about those comments and relive those instead of the fun word pictures I was trying to evoke.
For Two - I have no muse.
I asked for editing help a few months ago, and a few kind people responded. I sent them what I was working on, and most were either overwhelmed, uninterested, or sent me back "I am reading," and I never heard from them again. You can't instantly make a connection with people and have a rapport. I understand that.
I stayed in touch with the long time friends I've known on here for a reason. They are different but they also aren't into my stories and don't really want to offer any helpful guidance. I need that feedback to keep me motivated and focused, and fresh.
I made a deal with myself a long time ago, when I first began as a writer. It's a deal, I would encourage EVERY author to make, whether they are experienced or haven't even begun yet.
1 - Don't publish a story until you finish it.
Every time I have broken that rule, I regret the shit out of it. I have a couple stories on here that I consider to be some of the best I've ever written. I just can't put an ending on them. My New Pony story, and Visiting Aunt Scarlett.
It's not a coincidence that BOTH of these were actually collaborations with Mike McGifford (one of those long-term friends). I started publishing them and then lost the spark, and now they've been in limbo forever.
2 - Read as much as you write.
I find as a good rule of thumb that it's best to read as much as I write. If I write three chapters, I should read three chapters of someone else's content.
The intent isn't to copy their style or content! The intent is just to stay fresh as an author and learn new techniques through observation.
I began writing for very selfish reasons. I simply wanted to write to inspire others to write similar stories. I loved stories in the genre of Mike McGifford, Amanda Serve, Vulgus, Phil Phantom, Hooked6, Tailweaver, and MaryS. I was hoping to give back to the community that gave to me, and INSPIRE others to write like they inspired me.
Then, I could read more content like the kind I enjoy reading.
However, as time went on, I realized how completely naive that was. I've managed to inspire and encourage a few authors who are also on that long-term friend list. If I've done more than that, I don't know about it.
It was Hooked6 and Vulgus in particular, who made writers out of me.
I didn't just like their genre. I liked HOW they crafted a story. I studied HOW they told it and learned to SHOW the reader and not TELL the reader.
I have always been a good bullshitter, and I've worked in strip clubs and had a colorful life. I can draw from people watching and personal experience to craft fantastical situations that still seem authentic and genuine because I can reflect those observations. I can live them again in a new form by giving them life when I put them down on paper. That's the good stuff.
That's the money shot - the whole reason I do this now.
I want to share these stories, but I don't like the negativity and I have nobody to bounce ideas off of that has the time or interest to actually offer anything more than "That's good, seems like a lot of words. I enjoyed skimming it before deleting". Well intentioned or not, the limited feedback that I receive isn't even a drip of water to a thirsty man. It's a bite of Arby's for a hungry man.
The secret to telling a good story is imagining you are sitting across from someone in a bar and talking to them - then just write what you'd say.
It was READING other people's stories that taught me how to enhance that. I could create a word picture with dialogue. I could cleverly HINT about things with clues.
Instead of writing "I am Darlene. I am 18 with hazel eyes and blonde hair, I live in Illinois, and this is my story..." you establish who she is, where she is, and what she looks like through the scene. I am not going to bore you with writing 101, but it was reading OTHER PEOPLE'S STORIES and the actual mentorship of people on this site including Hooked and Vulgus that made me a better author.
All you have to do is read my early shit and see a huge improvement over time.
Am I the best writer?
No.
Am I trying to be?
Also, No.
I am just trying not to be the Arby's of writing and put the same shit on a different bun.
A lot of my stories are about the same topics; embarrassed nude females and power exchange relationships.
You could probably create a Chaucer's tales style set of character templates for my stories to classify many of the characters that I introduce. There is usually a nerdy kid who's too smart for his own good who really likes butts and quirky girls.
Here is a clue: That's me, dude.
I write myself into stories.
It's not that I am a narcissist (necessarily). It's that one way I can get into the story is to create my own alter-ego. I try to give some nuance and make them distinct, but ultimately that version of Eddie is persistent across many of my stories.
Then there is the creepy old blowhard who sometimes sounds smart. Yeah, that's old Eddie. I usually make him very different than me, and sometimes I have him marry a slutty woman that looks surprisingly like Morgan Fairchild (because why not).
Ever since I discovered AI to illustrate my stories, I've enjoyed adding pictures of myself into the background as Easter eggs. That's not the same thing. I just like to do that as a goof/easter egg for loyal readers to notice.
However, what I try to do with my stories that makes them different is explore a variety of topics. I am not about just describing fetishes and sexual encounters. Those are more of the background activity that happens WHILE the story is happening.
There is a famous line about a movie producer asking a writer about their script. In the script, the main characters are talking. The producer asks "What are they supposed to be doing while they are talking?"
"They are having a dialogue," the writer blithely responds because he doesn't understand that's not the story. The dialogue is one component of the scene. The body language, the activity, and all of it serve an outcome. Even when the scene is dialogue-heavy, I learned through reading that I could still move the story along.
I could go on and on about the lessons that I've learned through simply reading other authors. I've also learned what not to do by reading drek and AI slop that is passed off now as erotica.
Unfortunately, there are simply not enough positive/constructive/good examples of fiction to keep up with my ratio. If you haven't written a story, I would simply encourage you to write and publish here. If not for yourself to live vicariously through the characters, to inspire others (including me) to read it and write so you can enjoy more content.
Yes, you will get snotty grams, yes, you will have setbacks, but maybe your journey will be easier and not as Arbified as mine.
I plan to publish some stuff up, but I can't say when or what. I know that in my illustrious history on this site, that for the same reason I have over 1,100 people who took the time to click "Follow" on my stories. To get that many fantastically weird perverts who thought enough of my work to follow it and read it, I am sure I also generated quite a few trolls that hate my guts.
I was never writing for mainstream appeal and I never wanted to do that. I have never limited the topics or fetishes I write about. I don't believe in censorship and just because an author writes a war story - it doesn't mean they advocate war. If an author of murder stories writes about murder it doesn't mean they are telling you to murder. In my case, I am just reflecting that people are diverse and not everyone is into the same shit.
(Arby's, are you listening? That doesn't mean just change the bun!)
I may include femdom in my stories. That will piss off the man babies because they are insecure in their manhood.
In the same story, I may include someone who believes in more traditional submissive roles for women. That will piss off the people who think submission is a weakness and it's me spelling out a recipe for a society based on mysogony.
I have news for the trolls that downvote for that reason: Society IS based on mysogony, racism, greed, etc. No one needs Eddie to write a little story to tell them how to keep doing that. I am just writing a story, not preaching from the pulpit about how things ought to be. These people would have torn down books like 1984 and the Handmaid's tale because they think the authors are fascist assholes.
If I include pee-pee, or poo-poo, bondage, electric play or someone jerking off a dog - we are all adults and we know these stories are fiction. If you can handle someone's head being blown off in a war movie, you can handle a fetish that you don't personally do. If you can't - another option is not read it. I include story codes. I understand story codes. I dig story codes. I personally don't care what story codes you include in your story, but I respect someone's desire to not read a story that contains things that they don't like. You won't usually find that on traditional books.
Most people, especially the blithering trolls, don't usually read story codes. That's their choice, but what gets me is that they think the solution is sending nasty grams and downvoting, when the solution was reading the code and moving on. Trolls are the Arby's of the Internet. They don't really add anything, nobody will miss it when it's gone, and you aren't going to enjoy any interaction with them, even if you think you might this time.
The trolls think that by downvoting they will prevent people from writing about it, or maybe since they have literally no value in society and no other influence - this is all they can do.
I do this in part, because just like some people are vegan and maybe I am not, I can still include a vegan in my fucking story without being accused of 'promoting veganism'. Get it? I can write about a deaf person and not be deaf. I can write about someone who gets their rocks off a different way than me. That's what grown ups do. They all have different tastes. I don't ONLY write me. I write every motherfucking body that needs to be in the story with different opinions and tastes.
However, it gets me hate sometimes, which seems unwarranted. If you are going to be pissed off at me, there are a dozen reasons that may be warranted, but the fact I wrote a story that featured a girl who likes to pretend to be a kitty is not the one.
In any case, the ignorant trolls with nothing better to do irritatingly pounce as soon as they see my first chapter posted on the new site and hit "You call this a story" because the admin insists on a voting system that doesn't really work. It does add up and taken with everything else, it can make posting here much less fun than it should be.
When you have a small sample set, if only seven people vote and you have 1,000 readers, you have less than 1% of the population of readers deciding that the story is a 3.4. The only people voting that early are usually sycophants or trolls, with trolls outnumbering everyone. Most of my stories will eventually get in the tens of thousands of readers, but early on that story is going to get abused and beaten by the trolls.
I assume they have such limited real-world power, and since their time is largely worthless and of no value, that they have nothing better to do than pounce on new stories to down vote them. It's discouraging because most of my stories don't hit their stride until chapter seven.
I would also say for a new author, be aware that you have to suffer that in order to get published here. It's not a fun experience, but also turn comments off. They are on by default - shut them off.
Nine times out of ten, it's going to be some lazy ahole that didn't read story codes bitching "This contained (a story code from your story) and I don't like that, 3 out of 10!!!!"
Voting isn't objectively telling you the quality of your story. It's a means for people like him to punish you as an author for not writing only the fetishes he likes.
In conclusion, if life really is like Arby’s, then the cruelest part isn’t just that you keep getting served the same shit on a different bun, it’s that sometimes you bite in thinking you’ve finally found something worth chewing, only to realize halfway through that you are probably going to have the shits later.
I am not sure how that advice is really of value (much like Arby's - thus reinforcing my theory). Please follow me for more life advice/stories.
I have often asked for an editor on this site. The editor job probably sounds like a lot of thankless work to most people.
The role is often confused with being a proofreader which I definitely need as well. I have a friend who doesn't really enjoy my stories that has painstakingly helped me with that for quite some time.
I use Ms word, grammarly and other tools, and even with frequent rereading of my story, I often miss mistakes that I would catch in anybody else's writing because I know what it's supposed to say.
The role of editor is often confused with being a muse and a source of inspiration. That's a pretty lofty job and very difficult shoes to fill.
There are a couple authors on here that I stay in touch with that often inspire me with their work. I try to read as much as I write as a rule of thumb. There isn't enough stories that really float my boat and flick my bik to maintain that ratio though.
What I'm looking for is someone who actually enjoys my stories, that wants to read the early drafts and provide some constructive feedback. I don't use external email. I use the email through here and I would just paste it to you.
I'm not looking for exhaustive proofreading and I don't expect a lot.
I also can't promise that I can deliver new material all the time. I will write as much as possible with the time I have left on this planet. I don't have a schedule though and I don't do this for money.
if this intrigues you at all, I would ask that you also make sure that you've read at least three of my stories and like the themes before you respond. I try to post a lot of different stories but there are definitely some recurring themes
I'm looking for story direction and plot holes, ideas and suggestions to make the writing a little more fluid and intriguing.
In exchange, you get to read some of the ideas that I might never even publish. I have dozens of stories that are half complete that have not been published here. I am trying to write an entire story before I start publishing it because I have made the mistake of not finishing some first.
You would also get an advanced copy of the story before I publish it but by the time you read it I might have already posted it. you could still provide feedback because I am the type to go back and fix things.
if you are an existing author and you enjoy my writing, I'm all about co-collaboration and helping you in the same spirit.
if you are somebody who has never written but you have lots of dirty ideas, you are especially welcome to contact me. I was once exactly where you are. I used to read stories and think I had some pretty good ideas but I did not have the confidence or drive to tell my stories.
I'm glad I got over that because now I get to live them through writing them and sharing them and it's not as hard as I thought it would be. It is still work and it can be frustrating but it's all worth it. I can maybe help you get started writing and give you some feedback and pointers.
I tried to pass on some of the things I have been taught over the years about storytelling. There was an author who sadly passed away named Ernest Bywater that inspired me. There have been authors like Vulgus and Mike McGifford who inspire me just through their work. I try to give back in the same ways and help aspiring authors.
Constructive feedback is a gift, and it can not only encourage but it can improve the story so that everybody benefits.
I decided to delete;
Fall From Grace 2: the Confession of Abigail Parrish
Game of Thrones: How I Wish the Series Had Ended
A Little Humiliation Never Hurt Anyone, Love
The Parrish story, I may repost with illustrations. I am not sure. It's a historical Civil War era story.
The Game of Thrones -it never seemed very popular. Shortly after S8, I wrote what I thought should have happened. This was before I even knew that the two show runners were basically coked out Hollywood Dbags that were high on the smell of their own farts.
The new story isn't doing very well - not sure why. I will finish it and may repost. I suspect it has to do with my favorite trolls and their many accounts. It's been edited very well, has good illustrations, etc. It was a fun story to write but for whatever reason I will eliminate it.
I may redo some of my classics as well.
https://www.storiesonline.net/s/20017/do-you-have-a-big-dick
Do you have a big dick, why not? Is about a guy who meets a shy girl, and finds out her mother and sister (and her) do cam shows - but a whole lot more.
When I published this, I didn't own MS word and do AI images. I may polish it and republish it with new content. It seems beloved but unpopular overall.
Periodically, I think I will prune out some of my stories.
If you are a Vulgus fan and looking for something of mine that I am proud of - this was one of my earliest stories and I really enjoyed writing it. It needs some TLC under the hood though in terms of editing and elaboration.
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