Typical Do over. Never wrote one before so I have no idea how this'll turn out. I guess there'll be sex...but absolute not siblings...Eww! My sister...Eww Eww Eww. So…I left this but had to modify. In my last life my sister was as described…Eww Eww Eww! In this one she is …Oh My! I've died and gone to heaven.
Size: 367 KB (66,330 words)
Genre: Time Travel
Sex Contents: Minimal Sex
Tags: mt/ft, mt/Fa, Teenagers, Time Travel, Humor, DoOver, Incest, Brother, Sister, Grand Parent, First, Safe Sex, Oral Sex, Voyeurism
Review by NC-Retired [other reviews by NC-Retired]
Reviewed:
An Epic Tale in five parts. Do-over, sci-fi, time travel, aliens, (at least implied), failed genetic experiments, military mis-adventures, sailing, flying, mystery, who-dun-it? and more!
This is a review for the five tales in The Chance — a series by Old Man with a Pen (http://storiesonline.net/series/1157/the-chance) consisting of the stand-alone stories; A Second Chance, Another Chance, Continuing Chance, Third Time's the Charm, and the finale, Denmark.
First technical... there might be a few grammar or punctuation oopses but so few that I cannot remember them – so, I rate them a 10 across the board for all five.
Next is very subjective... either you like the way that the author tells his tales or you don't. Old Man With a Pen uses quirky phrases, partial thoughts as complete paragraphs and for all that he writes pretty decent dialog, as in I can see that conversation in my head 'cause I'd say it the same way.
I wouldn't suggest that the five stories are perfect, their individual scores seem to agree with that assessment, but there were times when my normally stoic visage actually cracked a smile. A guffaw might have escaped my lips once or twice. ;-)
Quirky, irreverent, offbeat and surprisingly full of philosophical, political, and economic truths along with a life-hack kinda insight from time to time.
The author has about six dozen stories here on SOL. I've read most of them and there are a few that are just plain undecipherable and nearly unreadable. But this series, these six, are about as good as it gets for silly, make you laff-your-ass-off, fun.
As always, your opinion may differ, but I rate these five stories as solid 9's for plot and appeal with a 10 for technical.
Review by funkso [other reviews by funkso]
Reviewed:
So, in part this is a review that is just to be contrary in response to Derek Smith's review - because coincidentally, I also just finished the story!
Let me get this out of the way - I hate the ending. Seriously abrupt to me. But then it looks like he's continued it in another story. It is a very abrupt and unsatisfying ending though.
Apart from that, the story is rather charming. Sure, it hasn't got the best grammar, and ellipses seem to be the main form of punctuation - but I really, really hate when reviewers think that the focus of their review should be the quality of the writing.
If it was bad, then I'd agree - I've even read stories I liked with god awful grammar and decided not to review because "if you can't say anything nice"...
That being said, I got used to the casual style of the writing and it actually fed into the "inner-voice" quality of what was being expressed. During the story you come to understand it's a bit of a journal for the protagonist, and although a genius - it's not like a journal is being published and edited.
The plot contains historical errors? Screw that, it's set in another dimensional universe of our world. Bank of England doesn't do personal banking? Does in this world. Escape clause, bitch.
Seriously, turn the brain off and just enjoy this story - Derek did, enough to give it 7's, which isn't a bad review at all - he wonders how people gave it as high as 7.2/10? Dude, your review ain't much lower.
But seriously, it has its faults, it's a guy posting a story on an internet site - and although there's great on here, there's plenty of bad. This one definitely falls into the good side.
Fun, fast, and just a plain good time. Read.
Review by Derek Smith [other reviews by Derek Smith]
Reviewed:
This is the first of 'Old Man with a Pen's' stories that I have read.
Normally I enjoy 'Do-Over' tales but have to say that this one is far from the best that I have ever read. The plot is quite odd and the writing contains many historical and grammatical errors.
Some of the characters are difficult to accept even bearing in mind that this is a work of fiction.
However, it has a score of 7.2 which indicates that it has been popular with readers and I suspect that many of them will hold a different opinion to mine!
Read it and see what you think.
