The Coctail Cabinet Eye Opener by Winterfrog

Author's Description:
Cheating is a dirty game with a few winners and many loosers.
Size: 14 KB ( ~ 2,655 words)
Genre: Erotica
Sex Contents: Some Sex
Tags: Cheating

Review by Mazeppa   [other reviews by Mazeppa]

Reviewed: 2013-05-06 - (Review Updated: 2013-05-06)

I have mixed feelings about this story. I like the blunt and honest kind of way it is written, and the reflections on right and wrong, which give it some substance. I liked the 'detective work' with which the adultery is discovered early on, hence the title which encapsulates the story perfectly. If it wasn't for the cabinet discovery, his eyes would have remained 'closed' and maybe everybody would have carried on 'happily ever after', so to speak. That's quite thought-provoking: I wonder how many couples in real-life cheat one each other and it is blissfully never discovered?

One not-so-good thing was the technical quality. I hesitate to give it a very low score for this, as it seems the author might not be a native English-speaker, but it does say it has been proof-read. Well, it could use a lot more commas, in my opinion. A lot of the sentences look very 'teenage' in their execution, and there is not a lot of grammatical imagination to enhance the emotions. The paragraphs break up the prose for no other reason than to break it up, like someone has taken a paper-slicer to it at regular intervals like the Romans put castles exactly a mile apart on Hadrian's Wall regardless of the terrain.

The topic of adultery and cheating would normally appeal to me much more than the '7' I gave it, but we could have done with some actual sex in the story: basically, it was all tell and no show.

Finally, I'm left feeling a bit pissed about all the fall-out and the proletariat revenge-ethic. I always believe that if people could just chill out a little about sex and 'share and share alike', all this angst and jealousy could be avoided. But that's just me, a pervert.

Plot: 9 | Technical Quality: 5 | Appeal to Reviewer: 7