Catching My Dream Girl by LargerThanTheAverageBear

Author's Description:
After years of academic competition with her throughout elementary and high school, he encounters his nemesis at a far-away sports bar two years later. Her strange behavior and stranger request bring out an aggression of a different form in him.
Size: 37 KB ( ~ 7,016 words)
Genre: Erotica
Sex Contents: Much Sex
Tags: Ma/Fa, NonConsensual, Reluctant, Heterosexual, First, Oral Sex

Review by Ivan_Ronical   [other reviews by Ivan_Ronical]

Reviewed: 2012-05-13

Perhaps out of a desire to make reparations for my harsh review of LTTAB's other work, "Teacher's Pest", or perhaps due to an intriguing tagline, I decided to read this story after skimming the New Stories section -- something I do only rarely. It ended up being a good decision; nearly every complaint I had about the author's work in the previous story's review is resolved for this one: an impressive feat.

I am going to make a bold claim. LargerThanTheAverageBear is one of the best authors on the site when it comes to creating (mostly) believable female characters who are tremendously frustrating to read about. Put another way, the author is good at writing assholes. The figurative kind, not the literal kind; get your minds out of the gutter!

This talent is utilized in CMDG to just the right degree. Holly Grandal, the titular and titful female lead, is described initially as smug and superior. She sneers at those she feels to be inferior, and we get the sense that she feels disdain for every member of the male gender -- especially the main character. Additionally, as required by SOL HB31158 Appendix C1, paragraph 9, Holly is a nymph with long hair, large breasticles, the pinnacle of assmanship, and eyes which can probably shoot lasers because they are so "sparklingly intelligent". Yes, I used at least one word in that description which is not officially recognized by language authorities as being "real".

If this story has one easily-fixable flaw, I would say that it's in spending slightly too little time on the initial descriptions and background. I could have read about Holly being annoying and hot for a bit longer; it would have delayed the inevitable resolution and probably made her seem even more unobtainable -- never a bad thing for a story like this.

The strength of this story is obviously its plot, which I found to be both unusual and well-crafted enough to be enjoyable. Sure, there's a little suspension of disbelief required here and there (unless apartments in the Boston area have all been soundproofed in the past 6 months, I'm fairly certain the cops would have been called at some point), but I was willing enough to continue enjoying myself at the expense of the female character's religious beliefs despite these issues. Having never spent much time with hardcore Christians, I can't speculate as to whether the religion aspect is realistic in any way, but I've read enough crazy articles in the newspaper over the years to suspect that it's close enough to what COULD happen. Maybe.

The main thing with the plot is that the ending, which I am not about to spoil, does get telegraphed fairly early on. After the setup, I found myself fervently hoping that the author would deliver what I considered to be the optimal ending; I was not disappointed. This story ends in a satisfactory manner, and it ends at just the right time.

From the last story I read by the author, I expected a fairly high level of grammatical accuracy. I was pleased with what I found.

Things that potential readers should be wary of are the "Much Sex" tag and "Erotica" categorization. There is not much sex in this story; at most, one-tenth of the content is actually sex scene-related, and there's only one scene. Additionally, I found a disturbing lack of Traditionalist Erotica language considering the category that this story is in. There were no "mounds of Venus", "heart-shaped asses", or "frenzied assaults" upon pubic regions, and the only body parts that were "sopping" were hairs on some guy's head -- truly appalling. I suggest that the author re-read "Beating Off Bob's Guide to Writing Really Bad Erotica", because the sage wisdom found there was surely not used.

This is, overall, a good story. The characterization, while being somewhat weaker than I prefer, is still effective enough to portray the characters as they are intended, which allows the reader to observe them as they go from point A to B without wondering why a couple of mannequins are running rampant through a jumble of words.

If you want a stroke story, this might work for you; I recommend reading it not for that purpose, however. If, instead, you want to read something where the characters say "fuck" almost as many times as they would in a Kevin Smith movie, this is exactly what you're looking for.

Plot: 7 | Technical Quality: 9 | Appeal to Reviewer: 8