Finder's Fee by colt45


Description: Toliver Nelson, ex-solider and exile thinks he's lucked into a scheme that will bring him a goodly amount of cash, enough cash to live well on for a long time. What does he have to do? Nothing much; rescue the daughters of three of the wealthiest families on Earth from slavery, return them to where they belong and claim the reward from their grateful parents. A simple plan right? You know what they say; if you want to hear God laugh tell him your plans...
Size: 185 KB ( ~ 35,081 words)
Type:
Sex Contents: Some Sex
Tags: Ma/Fa, Fa/Fa, Consensual, Romantic, Science Fiction, Humor, Harem, Pregnancy

Review by Andrew Johns   [other reviews by Andrew Johns]

Reviewed: 2008-07-17


In "Finder's Fee", we have the story of a former military sniper that decides to buy three Earth women that are now held in slaver on Mars, and return them to their parents for a profit. All three have been mistreated during their short slavery, and aren't sure what to make of their new owner. Frankly, he doesn't know what to make of his new slaves. Read along and find out how things turn out!

The sex in this story was slow in getting there, but worth the wait. I wouldn't consider this stroke by any stretch, but it was done with the overall story in mind. As such, it fit the story very well.

The plot itself was innovative. The characters had varied personalities, making them stand out as being different. The dialogue was well done. Overall, it was very well done.

Technically, quite a few minor errors keep creeping into the story. Missing apostrophes, the same word sometimes being hyphenated and sometimes not, and minor spelling errors were noted. I was a little surprised by the errors, as Morgan is a fine editor. None of the errors was enough to ruin the immersion, but they did stand out enough to make me take notice. The excellence of the plot and characters was able to overcome these mistakes.

I really liked this story. It was constructed with a great blend of well crafted plot and detailed characters. The various personalities made for an interesting weave, and the author wove them together well.

With a little clean-up of the minor errors, my Appeal rating would be a 10. This story is well worth the time to read.

Plot: 10 | Technical Quality: 8 | Appeal to Reviewer: 9

Review by BlackIrish   [other reviews by BlackIrish]

Reviewed: 2008-07-16


NOTE: this is ongoing so reader beware.

This is an odd one.

It's set on Mars and way in the future, so it's part sci-fi.

Multiple women & one lead guy, so there's the harem thing.

Codes can be confusing so I wasn't sure that I'd like it - but it grew on me, big time.

The emotions are real, the characters very well-developed and some nice, conventional (so far) hot SEX.

Wicked good plot line tells me that this story has legs.

Foundation is solid and the story will get more complex as it progresses.

One of SOL's better writers has a good one going.

Plot: 10 | Technical Quality: 10 | Appeal to Reviewer: 10