Taking Back What's Mine by bfrap

Author's Description:
Paul finds out that his wife is not only cheating on him, but also trying to have her lover's baby. How does he handle this?
Size: 57 KB ( ~ 10,809 words)
Genre: Erotica
Sex Contents: Much Sex
Tags: Ma/Fa, Consensual, Cheating, BDSM, MaleDom, Harem, Pregnancy

Review by Andrew Johns   [other reviews by Andrew Johns]

Reviewed: 2006-05-06

In "Taking Back What's Mine", we read about Paul, a man who finds out his wife Jessica is cheating on him with Tim, a married man. Gathering his evidence, he collaborates with the Tim's wife Tina to get his wife back. Tina divorces Tim, but Paul decides to take more extreme measures to keep his wife.

The sex in this story comes late, and is not very descriptive. Also, while it is coded for harem, there are only two women. Paul never has sex with Tina on camera, and only has sex once with Jessica that we read about. The three of them never share a bed in a sex scene. The coding of BD for bondage is quite correct, but it plays zero part in the sex, so don't be expecting bound women having consentual sex. I wasn't turned on by the sex in this story.

The plot itself isn't too bad. It's a decent premise, but I think this one would have benefited from more details about their working things out over time. The story had a promising and detailed start, but once his wife sends Tina to his bed, it falls into little tidbits of information, with the exception of Jessica and Paul's initial coupling after the cheating. Even that was short lived.

Technically, the writing quality was fine. Some of the character's had strange ways of saying things, but the rules don't apply to dialogue. The HIV testing schedule Paul thought he had to put his wife on was out of whack with current testing rules.

Overall, this story didn't do much for me. By the codes, I expected more than just 2 women, as the Harem code implies more than 2 to me. I also expected some bondage sex due to the BD code, but I approve of the author using the code, even if it didn't pertain to sex. It was a good way to avoid a reader "squick". A note in the author's blurb about the story would help readers know it isn't a BD sex story.

I believe that the way the story came out with a fairly strong start and then got weaker as things went on is what made me not enjoy this so much. I would have loved more details about how the two women decide to share Paul, but it was all glossed over. Trying to make a triad relationship work is brutally difficult, and just saying it did left me feeling cheated. Paul never states he loves Tina, but she and Jessica decide to fill the house with his kids. I felt like I missed something, there. Also, Jessica never gets over her guilt, which should be a disaster down the road, but they apparently live happily ever after.

I would have liked to see a more fleshed out ending. As it stands, I wasn't entertained by the story. You may not be, either. The author comes up with nice concepts and good beginnings, but his middle and endings need work.

Plot: 5 | Technical Quality: 8 | Appeal to Reviewer: 5