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Burr by Fable

Author's Description:
Sammy was headed for a life of non-achievement when something happened to change his life. This story is a look back at the years that followed, filled with hard work, growth and sexual awakening as Sammy weighs what could have been versus the actual outcome. Was it a stroke of luck that transformed his life or something bigger? Sammy likes to think of it as dominos falling, just right.
Size: 1544 KB (298,565 words)
Genre: Erotica
Sex Contents: Some Sex
Tags: mt/ft, Ma/ft, mt/Fa, Consensual, Rape, Blackmail, Heterosexual, First, Safe Sex, Oral Sex, Pregnancy, Slow

Review by Story Reader   [other reviews by Story Reader]

Reviewed: - (Review Updated: )


Book One of a charming and creative ‘coming of age’ plot where our hero, Sammy, goes from the possible world of just another teen in trouble to the real world of abundance as the ward of a powerful, influential, and caring man. The author does a reasonable job of presenting this complex concept of a ‘world of possibilities’ and how the ‘whims of fate’ affect all of us. And, of all things, he uses a cocklebur as an allegory.

Sammy gets uprooted, from his impoverished and broken home by the legal system, for the violence he showed in the defense of his sister during her rape. The court dictates that he be relocated hundreds of miles away and is forced to learn that it’s not the material things that make the difference but the relationships that we build and the attitudes that we have.

Sammy forms many relationships, both sexual and platonic that because of the nature of their failure or success either build or reinforce his responsible actions. The sexual relationships run the ambit from “yearning from afar” to “rutting in the back seat”.

The story’s one rather unique characteristic of its ‘first person’ POV is that the reader is sometimes treated to stream of consciousness of Sammy’s thoughts. It’s more like ‘autobiographical fiction’ except the reader gets only what Sammy’s thinking at the time and not all the tedium of what lead to the end conclusion. It is a subtle tool and it’s reminiscent of the way one’s mind really works.

The story’s major plot weaknesses, and I hope that these will be cured by ‘Book 2’, are, firstly, that the legal precedence between what is clearly a case of ‘self defense’ and Sammy’s removal from his home are not logically made. Secondarily, the rationale of why Mr. Oldham gets involved is not, yet, revealed to Sammy.

The story’s biggest technical problem is that the story was clearly put through a spell checker and some of the incorrect words were typical of the default choices of the checker. Additionally, the story needs a couple more proof readings.

In summation, the story, albeit a little longer than is needed in a few places, has a some really hot sex scenes and is a thoroughly good read for its genre.

I give it a “Winner = Story has everything going in the right direction” rating.


Sincerely,
Story Reader

Plot: 10 | Technical Quality: 7 | Appeal to Reviewer: 10

Review by Parthenogenesis   [other reviews by Parthenogenesis]

Reviewed:


As Sammy says right at the beginning of Burr, "I got into a little trouble when I was fourteen." As a result of that trouble, Sammy is made a ward of the court, removed from his near poverty level dysfunctional home, and put under the care of Mr. John Oldham--who is a very wealthy man--and his life begins to change.

Burr is essentially the growing-up story of Sammy Kovel Oldham. Under the care and tutelage of Mr. Oldham, Sammy is enrolled in a military academy, given a list of classics to read, and introduced to team sports. During the course of the story, Sammy learns about people, life, love, and, of course, sex.

But Burr also has as major themes relationships and chance. Author Fable does a very good job of showing how Sammy discovers the necessity for relationships, works very hard to make his relationships successful, discovers a sympathetic and caring side of himself, and triumphs over a tendency to display temper nearing rage with little provocation.

Sammy also understands very well that it was nothing but chance that put him under Mr. Oldham's care and gave him the opportunity to build a new life for himself. He refers to the chance that affected his life frequently--and along the way, the reader learns the reason for the story's title, and for the title of Burr's successor story, Dominoes.

If you're looking for a strictly stroke story, Burr isn't it, but the sex scenes are not lacking in any way. If you want a story that depicts the development of complex relationships and lets you share in the successes of the protagonist, Burr is for you. I got hooked with the first chapter and was back daily looking for updates.

Plot: 10 | Technical Quality: 8 | Appeal to Reviewer: 10

Review by Andrew Johns   [other reviews by Andrew Johns]

Reviewed:


In "Burr", we get the story of Sammy, a boy who has his lousy life shaken up by a benefactor. He learns a little about love, a little about football, and a lot about sex.

The sex in this story is fairly frequent, and some of the scenes are quite good. Most of them are just average, though. Considering there is a pregnancy scare at one point, the "safe" code is used improperly.

The plot itself is pretty plain. There was never any reason given for why Sammy was moved from his original home with is mother and sister, and moved into a very upscale home with a very generous benefactor. In fact, there is very little reason given for almost everything that happens in the story. Instead of being a tightly focused piece, it felt like a wandering road.

Technically, this long story was full of really poor mistakes. Two people speaking in the same paragraph would crop up occasionally. If a word had a homonym, the author managed to use the wrong word with alarming frequency. Other typos were almost laugh-out-loud funny, such as furry instead of fury, or couches instead of coaches. The author obviously used a decent spell checker but failed to use a grammar checker with it.

Much of the story just went beyond my ability to willingly suspend disbelief. Sammy basically just moved from sexual partner to sexual partner. He cared about most of them, but I didn't care about them. I didn't care about Sammy, either.

This story simply didn't feel like it was wrapped up very tightly. It wandered, so my brain was free to wander, instead of making me want to read more. I struggled through it, and got to an ending that just left me flat.

Overall, I can't say I recommend this story. Some will like it, and others will find it boring. I found it boring.

Plot: 5 | Technical Quality: 5 | Appeal to Reviewer: 6
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