Bad Day At The Office by Telephoneman

Author's Description:
The story of a man trying to come to terms with life after his wife's death
Size: 89 KB ( ~ 16,877 words)
Genre: Erotica
Sex Contents: Much Sex
Tags: Ma/Fa, Consensual, Romantic, Heterosexual

Review by Andrew Johns   [other reviews by Andrew Johns]

Reviewed: 2006-02-27

In "Bad Day At The Office", Telephoneman introduces us to David, a middle-aged man who has just what the title suggests. A near re-enactment of the accident that took his wife, a comment made in anger, a visit by the police for possible child stalking, and getting fired by a pompous little weasel of a boss. Read along as he recovers from his bad day.

The sex was OK. A few typos in the introductory sex scene really blew it for me. Theresa is an experienced woman, but when David first enters her, he thinks about how her "virginal muscles welcomed his intrusion". Obviously, the author meant vaginal, but those kind of typos are just so corny that it ruins the intensity of the moment.

The story plot was pretty good. The initial conflict between them is brutally quick. The subsequent park incident was pretty unnecessary feeling, adding only a tiny bit more sympathy to David's plight. The father talking to his daughter about resuming his romantic life was nice.

Technically, the story has a lot of typos. The constant wear of a misspelled word here, a missing letter there, and the strange character appearing out of nowhere started to affect my enjoyment of the story. My immersion was constantly bounced around, jarring me out of moments.

Overall, I liked the story, but the errors took their toll. I felt like the characters were more pencil sketches than done in color, making them a little bland. Since it is a relatively short story, that is OK, but some of the plot felt forced, to make David look more like a saint. It is designed as a romantic tale, and it is that. I just didn't get into the characters enough to make it take hold.

Plot: 8 | Technical Quality: 7 | Appeal to Reviewer: 7