Holding the Fort by HedbangerSA

Description: Russell is stuck at home for Halloween and is having a bad day until fate gives him the surprise of his dreams. But is it a treat, or a trick?
Size: 156 KB ( ~ 29,582 words)
Sex Contents: Much Sex
Tags: Ma/Fa, Teenagers, Consensual, Romantic, Heterosexual, First, Oral Sex, Petting

Review by Ivan_Ronical   [other reviews by Ivan_Ronical]

Reviewed: 2013-04-11 - (Review Updated: 2015-06-15)

Preface: This review was cut down ~25% for being too long.

Introduction: This story is the closest I've ever come to giving an "honest" '10' in a review for Technical Quality. Why the quotes around "honest", you ask? Well, I won't say that some of my recollections regarding grammatical accuracy from a few of my earlier reviews were inaccurate, or that they may have been enhanced by rose-colored lenses, but--ow, ow, OW, QUIT IT! OKAY, I ADMIT IT, I SCORED SOME STUFF HIGHER THAN IT DESERVED!

"Holding the Fort" is a story about some Loser Dweeb Virgin (LDV) who runs his high school newspaper and spends a lot of being shy around his house: let's call him Russ. The story opens with this kid alternating between complaining what a huge LDV he is and randomly reminiscing about the time he popped a boner while talking to a girl in his class when he was eleven years old. In fairness, she sounded like a total babe; who among us doesn't arbitrarily fantasize about eleven year old girls, right? Okay, I saw some people hit the back button there, and that's okay, because what they don't know is that I have a sense of humor.

Worthy of note, you'll find in the introduction one of two mentions in the story that Russ has a younger sister. She's like one of those ghosts from a Mario game who moves around when she's not being watched.

Russ is home alone on Halloween when group of drunken plot devices show up later in the evening and gang rape his bowl of candy. After they leave, Russ finds a straggler Plot Device. Note the capitalization on this one. This Plot Device is super ultra incredi-hot with GiganTits and HypnoButt. It also comes equipped with a VacuSuck module as well as PregImmune. But wait, there's more! Act now and get it loaded with Exhibitionism for-

Damn, this review is not going well. I'm going to gloss over the rest of the plot until I arrive at the spot where I get annoyed at a contrived part in the final chapter. It could have been left out. Nobody would have known. There could have been another conflict instead which made more sense!

LDV Russ is the only character who undergoes character development, despite the story being alternately told by him and another character on a chapter-by-chapter basis. This alternating was extremely confusing the first time it happened since there's no warning or indication that it would happen; I'm glad that it did, however, because the second perspective added depth.

Russ starts as a huge LDV, we've been over this. He changes, largely at the whim of the second main character, into a cool and popular non-virgin who takes names and kicks asses. I will confess, however, that I was a little confused at his lack of resistance to change.

Character #2...we don't see in the "before" stage, just "after", so there's not much going on here transition-wise, though this character is well-developed.

This story is extremely well-written, but in the last chapter, suddenly, without warning, and little did I know as I was reading, there was a glaring typo. Ouch. Spectacular job otherwise.

Sex is a major factor in this story, both as a plot device and because this is a guy in high school who is making up for all the time he spent not getting laid. A surprise, though less of one since this is rarely ever mentioned in anything on SOL, is that nobody in Russ's house seemed to notice the very distinct smell that sex produces. Perhaps his parents and his sister, who gets as many mentions in this review as she did in the story, decided to cut him some slack because he was breaking out of his LDV shell? And what about the obvious wet spot on that bed? Did he not find it at all gross to use his sister's blanket like he did? Why do I feel like these things tell more about his character than the rest of the story?

Russ did okay for himself. He got some pussy, some Plot Devices, and he emerged from his mundane life to become one of the Cool Kids who fucks the prom queen. Repeatedly. Seriously, all the time.

This story has a ton of non-plot sex considering it's a short-ish story which focuses the reader on its plot. It's a reasonable sort of plot, and it doesn't drag on or leave the reader wanting more; all things are resolved, and we're happy enough to leave them that way. I'm impressed with the author's ability to keep the reader interested and cognizant of the plot despite all the fucking going on; too many stories get lost in sex, and I'm thankful that this one didn't.

Final verdict: this is a pretty good story. I think that, while the final chapter provides resolution, its contrived nature is also likely the reason why it doesn't have a higher score. Readers confused by relative lack of Traditionalist Erotica phrases? Or maybe it's the lack of incest? All speculation. Kudos to the author for a job well done, and perhaps we'll see another story at some point.

Plot: 7 | Technical Quality: 9 | Appeal to Reviewer: 8

Review by Andrew Johns   [other reviews by Andrew Johns]

Reviewed: 2006-08-03 - (Review Updated: 2006-12-10)

In "Holding the Fort", we have the story of a semi-unpopular guy whose parents make him mind the house on Halloween night, so they can go to a party. Towards the end of the candy-giving night, the guy is annoyed by the school bullies, and then meets a sick girl. A girl that happens to be his living fantasy. Read along as sparks fly!

The sex in this story is graphically hot, which seems to be the norm for HedbangerSA. The couplings are almost frenetic in energy and pacing. Some definite stroke material here.

The plot is strong for a short story. While more depth would have been great, I didn't feel like anything was really missing from this story. The characters behaved like the teens they were, which was refreshing.

Technically, there were no flaws that jumped out at me. The editor working with the author is doing a great job!

Overall, I enjoyed this story. Short enough to be easily read, and long enough to contain the hot sex.

Plot: 10 | Technical Quality: 10 | Appeal to Reviewer: 10