The Clitorides are open for voting. [ Dismiss ]
Author's Description:
Luke is a guy going nowhere fast. By remaking himself, can he find happiness?
Size: 285 KB (54,587 words)
Genre: Erotica
Sex Contents: Some Sex
Tags: Ma/Fa, Consensual, Romantic, Heterosexual, Oral Sex, Slow

Review by Teloz   [other reviews by Teloz]

Reviewed:


It's like a classic car technician trying to do his job with a couple of adjustable spanners (crescent wrenches to my colonial cousins, affectionately known in England as 'knuckle busters'), and a half-dozen bent screwdrivers. 'mrrx' has an inventive mind, a great plot, a good vocabulary, and an intelligent turn of phrase, then he spoils it all by making silly grammatical, and spelling errors.

I eventually became irritated by his habit of starting sentences with 'and', everyone knows you don't start a sentence with a conjunction, especially four times in one paragraph! 'mrrx' also doesn't know the difference between 'lose' and 'loose', and even school kids know you don't use '2' when you should be writing 'two' (or should that be 'to' or 'too'? Hmmm ... maybe that's why 'mrrx' used '2'! (Yes, I know sarcasm is the lowest form of wit!))

By far the most annoying part of all this, is that New Start: Luke's Story is a really good story, and despite my irritation with the grammatical clumsiness, I felt compelled to read it, normally, I would have rapidly clicked away, and read something else. Unfortunately though, by the time I became irritated enough to do that, I was already empathizing with the main protagonist, and been drawn in to the tale.

'mrrx' has a rare talent, and as I said earlier, New Start: Luke's Story has a great plot. His efforts would be greatly enhanced by a short course in basic English Grammar, but don't let that stop you reading the story, it really is very good!

Read, and enjoy!

Plot: 9 | Technical Quality: 5 | Appeal to Reviewer: 10

Review by zimmm   [other reviews by zimmm]

Reviewed:


How many of us work the job we have and not the job we want? In my own experience, I blame the environment, my co-workers and anything else but myself for the position I find myself in. Some of us are lucky enough to have an epiphany and the guts to take a chance on a new outlook. Enter our friend Luke.

This story has a plot, which is nice because you don't search for a page a fap material and then forget the story exists. It's also a romance which, in my opinion, adds a little spice to the plot. Some say living well is the best revenge and I think it's nice to see a happy ending that doesn't result in the antagonist's life destroyed. This story focuses on the positive changes Luke makes to his life and doesn't dwell on his unhappy past except as needed to round out the characters.

All in all, a decent romance with a positive feel and a happy (if abrupt) ending.

Plot: 8 | Technical Quality: 9 | Appeal to Reviewer: 9
Close
 

WARNING! ADULT CONTENT...

Storiesonline is for adult entertainment only. By accessing this site you declare that you are of legal age and that you agree with our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy.