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Phantom's Day by E

Author's Description:
After we destroyed the earth we left. We headed out into space looking for a new home. We settled in and started to kill this planet as well. After 80 years of wars we came to our senses and tried to make amends for our actions. A nearly indistructable force is slowly taking over what little is left of New Earth. No one knows where they come from or what they want, other than to eat us. Eve is a young Assassign fighting her way through life and she is presented with an opertunity of a lifetime. Finding love and fighting evil... what every girl dreams of.
Size: 295 KB ( ~ 55,941 words)
Sex Contents: Some Sex
Tags: Ma/Fa, Fa/Fa, Consensual, Romantic, Reluctant, Rape, Magic, Lesbian, BiSexual, Heterosexual, Fiction, Science Fiction, Humor, FemaleDom, Pregnancy, Slow, Violent

Review by 54vette   [other reviews by 54vette]

Reviewed: 2004-02-05

Those of you reading this are going to look at the numbers and go 'what the hell?' Well, if you haven't really read the story, you don't know what it is about or what it's like. Those of you that have, know.

The story is Sci-Fi and is about a girl that's an assassin. She's very good at what she does and a friendly military group want to 'recruit' her to fight the Phantoms that have evolved (by way of nuclear and chemical bombardment) into these hideous monsters that not only kill humans and other friendly beings, but they eat them as well.

The problem with this story (other than the massive spelling errors and typos) is that it doesn't have a 'flow' to it. It's hard to keep up with it and know where the author is taking you.

I honestly think that this story has a lot of potential for those of us who like this genre. The author could take a lesson from writers like Ellagon and John Wales as well as Net Wolf, Joe J, Andrew Wiggins (you get the idea)

There is really no graphic sex in this story, which is no big deal to this reviewer. Because, I believe in the old adage, "a good story is a good story". This author has the makings of an exceptionally good story if he (or she) could get the 'flow' happening better.

I strongly suggest that this author read (and re-read) Ashley Young's 'Beautiful Stranger' to get some ideas on developing the story better.

Again my 'scores' for this review could be very confusing, but, I'm a sucker for this kind of story and see it's potential so, to me, it still has a high appeal.

I hope the author gets enough constructive feedback from his readers to either make the appropriate changes or have a really good editor have a go at it!

We'll keep watching this one in the future!!!

Plot: 9 | Technical Quality: 3 | Appeal to Reviewer: 8