Going All Out by werewolf


Description: I worked in a pub while trying to get my own place, I had a lot of help along the way
Size: 53 KB ( ~ 10,050 words)
Type:
Sex Contents: Much Sex
Tags: Ma/Fa, Consensual, Romantic, Oral Sex

Review by sjowg   [other reviews by sjowg]

Reviewed: 2016-02-23


This is a straightforward love story--I can't really call it a romance, as there's not much romance in it. A guy and a girl who work in a bar are stuck in a snowstorm, and so go to his place nearby to spend the night. One thing leads to another, and they become lovers. There's no big obstacle for them to overcome, not much in the way of conflict. They get together, have sex, decide that they're meant for each other, and life goes on.

Technically the story has issues: there are many problems with punctuation and some spelling problems. It's British English vs. American English, but I can read Brit and the problems are there.

If you're not used to British English you may have problems tracking the dialog. I suggest you get up to speed on Brit vernacular; there are a sufficient number of British writers on SOL that you'll miss out if the language confuses you.

Anyway, I thought it was an okay, but not great story. Cleaning up the writing would help, certainly, but the plot development needs to work to turn this into a great story.

Plot: 6 | Technical Quality: 6 | Appeal to Reviewer: 6