Living a CAP Based Present by Allan Joyal


Description: A fateful visit for fastfood left Mark Parker and his friends in the middle of a pickup. Now that they have left Earth they discover that the plans they made do not work perfectly. Will Mark maintain the kind and caring heart that carried him this far? And what about his friends and family?
Size: 607 KB ( ~ 115,105 words)
Type: Science Fiction
Sex Contents: Minimal Sex
Tags: mt/ft, mt/Fa, Fa/Fa, ft/ft, Fa/ft, Consensual, Romantic, Science Fiction, Harem, Polygamy/Polyamory

Review by Ivan_Ronical   [other reviews by Ivan_Ronical]

Reviewed: 2016-08-20


"...if you decide to review any of my other stories. I won't complain," the author known as Allan Joyal wrote to me in a response to a review of another story some time ago. I've always intended to follow through on this, but somehow the timing never worked out; I feel especially bad for failing to review the first part of this series, so perhaps reviewing the sequel can help to make up for it.

The CAP series starts out as a somewhat more methodical approach to building a harem than is the norm for the High School Sex Stories genre, with the promise of a more sci-fi storyline looming on the horizon. From what I recall, part one was thoroughly engrossing--I read it mostly in one sitting. The only complaints that I recall having were lack of any "serious" conflict, and some late character additions having little depth compared to the rest of the cast. Nothing that detracted in a considerable way from my enjoyment of the story, but these are things likely to be noticed by many readers.

Moving on to the current story, the setting has changed completely and the sex-related components have taken a backseat to the sci-fi. This has the feel of a very long story, so it's difficult to say at such an early stage whether this change will overall be for the best, but as of the present progress (c34) I certainly did not feel that anything was lacking in terms of plot or things to maintain the reader's interest. A lot of new concepts are still being introduced, and the author does a good job staggering these so as not to overwhelm the audience.

I can't find much to criticize on a technical level here. There's the usual occasional typo and some grammatical errors, but the author has stated that chapters are currently being posted without editing, so the quality is unexpectedly high considering this fact. Certainly this is very readable, and it's unlikely that anyone but the most strict of grammarphiles will have trouble processing the text in its current form.

The amount of sex in the story up to this point has been...appropriate? I guess, for lack of a better word. There's plenty of orgies and sexual encounters, and they typically further the plot in some way even when they happen off-page. Given the tagging, this is not something to be read solely for its erotic content, and I can further confirm that this is the case. There's nothing horrifically written in these scenes, and thus far I remain content with Allan Joyal's use of language and detail in order to rouse the reader without crossing the line into the realm of the obscene or making sex mundane.

I'll state up front that I started reading this out of my backlog last night, and I only managed to put it down after I'd exhausted all the available chapters. With that said, I do have a few minor complaints--specifically, some of the same ones which existed for the first part of the series.

Late in "Building a CAP Based Future", two new harem members are introduced in fairly quick succession just before the end. Knowing there was to be a sequel, I can't find much fault with this. What was a bit strange to me, however, is that neither of these characters received much development in comparison to any other character in the series--including even side characters. This seems to be continuing into "Living a CAP Based Present", and it disappointed me a little that, after the author had gone to such lengths to flesh out the rest of the characters, including even more harem additions, these two remained fairly flat.

To compound this, both of the characters are the only non-American main characters, yet they act exactly like the rest of the cast, speak perfect English, and have almost no cultural background. Having spent time in their countries of origin and with people of their nationalities, I can say that this is highly improbable, at least from the onset. This discrepancy threw me off a bit and provided a challenge for me to read scenes involving these characters in which anything related to their countries of origin was mentioned.

Despite these flaws, however, I must reiterate that I ended up reading the story from start to finish in a single sitting, and I expect that I'll be following new chapters as they are released.

I'd recommend this and the prequel to everyone who enjoys some sci-fi and some sex in their stories, and I look forward to further works produced by the author.

Plot: 10 | Technical Quality: 9 | Appeal to Reviewer: 10