I started reading this story earlier, but sadly only made it through the 4th chapter. I like the idea behind the story, but this work is in desperate need of an editor. Run on sentences, missing and wrong words, bad punctuation all distract too much from the writing.
Just as a brief example other wrong word being used, the author uses "palatable" when the context obviously calls for the word "palpable" instead. I have not scored the work with a vote since I did not finish reading it, but the distractions due to poor grammar and punctuation were simply too much for me to continue.