Whipple Island by GMbusman

Author's Description:
Sean and his college girlfriend planned to camp out on a quiet island over the Independence Day weekend, but then she dumped him. Sean went camping anyway. The sheriff's 16-year-old daughter, Maryanne, planned to spend the holiday at a party with her friend's family. But a storm and fate threw them together, naked and trapped by a raging river.
Size: 257 KB ( ~ 48,735 words)
Genre: Coming of Age
Sex Contents: Some Sex
Tags: mt/ft, Teenagers, Consensual, Romantic, Coercion, Drunk/Drugged, Heterosexual, Fiction, First, Oral Sex, Masturbation, Petting, Nudism

Review by Jim S   [other reviews by Jim S]

Reviewed: 2016-03-16 - (Review Updated: 2016-03-16)

This will a quick review. While the story itself is interesting, the presentation left a lot to be desired. I rated it about a 5 or 6 as the scale given by the drop down at the end of the story says this is Some Good and Some Bad.

What I found bad about the presentation is the stiff language. Additionally, I found myself predicting what was actually going to be said, either in dialogue or otherwise. Dialogue was also a bit amateurish.

I'll note that this is the author's first story. As such, one can overlook a lot as I'm sure he will get better with time and more stories. That much is true of a lot of authors here. Even the really good ones. They didn't start out that way.

Technically, the story is good. No outstanding errors -- spelling, homonymic, verb tense, etc. This is good to see with a first time author.

Plot: 7 | Technical Quality: 9 | Appeal to Reviewer: 6

Review by woodwiz   [other reviews by woodwiz]

Reviewed: 2015-07-09

For a first story by a new author this is great. Actually it's great for any author.

Sean is jilted by his girlfriend just before their planned camping trip but goes anyway. Maryanne is drugged at a party and while resisting the guy who drugged her she falls into a raging river and washes up near dead by Sean's campsite. He saves her life and they get to know each other better. Any more would give too much away.

I'm a sucker for sweet love stories and this one definitely meets that target. Both main characters are well developed and easy to like. The slimeball main villain is just that. There is love, there is angst, there is teasing, there is sex, there is conflict... overall a fun tale.

I marked it down slightly on plot because while the exact progress wasn't obvious, the direction was pretty predictable. But that didn't keep me from liking it. The author did a good job of building up the plot and the anticipation of, "what will come next?"

Not a stroke story but some sweet loving exploration and sex.

No obvious writing or editing issues caught my eye.

Overall, one to read if you enjoy a love story.

Plot: 9 | Technical Quality: 10 | Appeal to Reviewer: 10