Yakima by Coaster2

Description: Graham was blindsided by his wife, Reese, telling him she wanted a divorce to marry another man. After seventeen years, he was cast aside and needed help to get back on his feet.
Size: 305 KB ( ~ 57,837 words)
Type: Romantic
Sex Contents: Some Sex
Tags: Ma/Fa, Consensual, Cheating

Review by Jim S   [other reviews by Jim S]

Reviewed: 2015-02-26

I'm conflicted in reviewing this story as I don't really like giving a poor review. Most times I just keep quiet when I'm dissatisfied with a story. But given that another reviewer (Vitruvian Manuel) gives it a good review, I feel compelled to offer a contrasting viewpoint.

FIrst, the good. It's a good story. But, then, I'm a sucker for cheating wife stories to begin with. Like VM, I think the author has a creative take on an oft worked theme, one that is refreshing.

However, I am turned off by a couple of things and they're biggies in my mind. Chief among them is the banal dialogue. It was tortuous reading through it after awhile. I don't think anyone speaks in the manner that the author has them doing.

Another is the lack of dialogue in a LOT of places in the story. The author would go on page after page after page with no dialogue whatsoever even when it was called for. It almost seemed like he inadvertently slipped up and, in large chunks, put his outline to the story there instead of dialogue.

One bad side effect of this is that a lot of explanations of motives became repetitious. A couple of times I wanted to yell out to the author "I've heard this already!!" It became frustrating.

Finally, I find most of the characters very flat, i.e. not fully fleshed out. Even some of the major ones. Here I disagree with VM.

Coaster2 isn't a rookie author either. Not with 71 stories here at SOL. But this isn't one of his better ones. Unlike VM, I'd avoid this one if you can't put up with the deficiencies described above. The current rating is 7.85. My rating is far lower.

Plot: 9 | Technical Quality: 8 | Appeal to Reviewer: 4

Review by Vitruvian Manuel   [other reviews by Vitruvian Manuel]

Reviewed: 2015-02-24

This is an interesting love story with a bit of an interesting twist.

The Bad:

The main character's name, Graham, is pronounced "Grime" by another central character. The children's personalities are kinda flat. It could have been more drawn out, with some of the skipped and reprised moments filled in more directly.

The Good:

It's an intersting take on a well-loved plotline . The adults are well defined and three dimensional. The main character builds slowly towards the climax, boiling faster as he nears. Several supporting characters turn out to be interesting and well drawn in their own right.

The Last Call:

It's not a long read, but I still enjoyed it utterly. A charming story that should be read.


Plot: 9 | Technical Quality: N/A | Appeal to Reviewer: 8