Chapter 9

Soft lips pressing against mine woke me. It was a gentle, pleasant kiss, and my eyes fluttered open to see Mom staring down at me. She was holding her hair back in a ponytail so that it wouldn't fall in my face.

"Good morning, Sweetheart," she softly said.

"Yes, it IS a good morning," I said, and lifted my head to kiss her again.

She sighed and pulled back after that kiss. She was completely nude, kneeling beside me, and I let my eyes slowly wander her sexy body in the early morning light. Her breasts had very little sag, which I assumed was because they weren't very large, and they always seemed perky by the way her nipples angled up.

She laughed. "You make me want to do naughty things to you when you look at me that way."

"Sounds good to me," I said, as I waggled my eyebrows at her.

"I wish, but alas, there's no time. It's time to get back to the daily grind for the both of us."

"Daily grind ... heh, heh, heh ... I like..."

"There's no way you can be up for a quickie!" she gasped.

I threw the blankets off me to reveal what I thought was some admirable morning wood. She smirked.

"I've been around long enough to know that something else besides me is causing THAT, Son."

I shrugged. "It doesn't mean that it won't work the same way."

She shook her head and gave my erection a last look of longing before popping me on the leg with her hand. "Up and at 'em, Young Man. You've got to get ready for school. Are you driving, or is Cassie?"

"You know, I'm not sure," I said, as I climbed out of bed. Mom was already heading to her shower; I was going to mine. The phone rang before I could leave the bedroom. She hesitated in the doorway of her bathroom while I checked the caller ID. "Speak of the devil ... or she-devil ... or whatever." I picked the phone up. "Hey, Beautiful."

"Hey, Gorgeous." Cassie's voice sounded chipper. Another wave of shame over my behavior had to be tamped down when I thought about how that happiness had been absent from her voice for much of the semester. "Are you picking me up, or am I picking you up?"

I smiled. "We were just talking about that. I don't mind driving."

"Good. I'll see you in half an hour then?"

"Half an hour? We still have an hour before school starts."

"We need to talk."

I frowned. "We've only been a couple since the weekend, and we already need to have 'the talk'?"

She laughed. "Not that talk. We need to talk about you and Kristin and how we're going to handle things."

I looked in Mom's direction, but she was already in the shower. She'd left the door open, so I leaned over in hopes of catching a glimpse of her through her shower door. I couldn't.

"I thought you said I had to deal with this on my own?" I asked my girlfriend.

"I was mad at you when I said that, Silly."

"Oh, I see." I didn't really.

"Just get here in 30 minutes." She sounded a tad exasperated, "We can talk then."

"No problem." I could easily shower, dress, eat, and drive to her house, which was about a seven to ten-minute drive depending on traffic, in 30 minutes. I was a teenage boy with a muscle car, after all!

Mom joined me in the kitchen as I was polishing off a slice of cold pizza. She shook her head as she pulled a yogurt and some juice from the fridge.

"Time to get you back on a normal person's diet," she said.

"Hey, I ate well. Shay and Mia are excellent cooks."

Mom leaned back against the counter to eat her yogurt. "Surely, you didn't make your guests do all the cooking while they were here?"

"Of course not," I huffed, "Cassie helped some." Before she could get the words of reprimand I knew were coming out, I continued. "They wouldn't let me help, Mom. I tried. They either kicked me out of the kitchen or made me sit at the table every time."

She gave me a raised eyebrow and put her spoon in her mouth in the weirdly sexy upside down way that women do. "Speaking of Cassie, ... does she know about us?"

I hesitated and tossed my napkin into the garbage. "Not yet."

"Not yet," Mom repeated. "So you do plan to tell her about us? I can understand telling Mia and Shay. I can see that you three are planning to do what you can to make your relationship long-term, but is it a good idea to tell Cassie, given the short-term nature of your romance?"

I wanted to tell her that we felt our relationship would be long term, but I paused. She had a point. Did I REALLY think my relationship with Cassie would last beyond this school year? Surely, I'd leave and she'd find someone else. Maybe I just needed to wait to see how things played out.

Mom looked like she wanted to say something else about it, but she told me to grab my stuff for school instead. I went to my room to grab my backpack, then went back to the kitchen to kiss Mom goodbye. She was still leaning against the counter, slowly eating and looking like she was deep in thought. Mom always looked good when she went to the office. Her blouse was just tight enough to show her femininity, and her slacks showed her long legs off. Throw in moderate heels, and she was classy AND sexy. She looked up at me as I approached.

"You didn't have a nightmare last night," she matter-of-factly said.

I paused before kissing her. She was right. Come to think of it, I hadn't actually had a nightmare since the first night that the girls were here, easily my longest span since the accident. I pecked Mom's lips and smiled at her as I headed to the door.

"I have a good feeling that they're gone, or at least mostly so. See you tonight, Mom."

Cassie wanted kisses as soon as she climbed into the passenger seat; lots of them, which I was happy to give her. Her lips were full and soft, her tongue hot and insistent. As we made out in her driveway, she laid her hand on the hardening bulge in my jeans, so I followed suit and palmed her big breast through her shirt. She sighed into my mouth and playfully chewed on my bottom lip just before she broke the kiss. She was breathing faster and her face was flushed. I thought the pink cheeks made her even more beautiful and vibrant than normal. She smiled at me as she tucked that loose lock of blond hair behind her ear. It was all I could do not to jump her and screw her brains out. Damn, she was hot!

"Hello, Boyfriend," she said.

"Hello, Girlfriend. That's a great way to start the day."

Her smile widened. "Now that I belong to you, that's what you can expect every morning."

I cocked my head at the curious way she phrased that. "Belong to me?"

The pink in her cheeks darkened. "That's just an expression. You know what I mean. Now that we're an item." She started rummaging through her purse. "Drive while I finish my makeup, then we'll talk."

I watched as she extracted a compact and a tube of something or other. "You know, you do look great just as you are. You don't need that crap."

She smiled at me and went back to 'applying her face', as Shay refers to it. "You're sweet, but you only say that because you love me."

I quietly listened to my music while she did her thing, though 'quietly' might not be entirely accurate. I usually played my music on a volume level that Cassie could tolerate. She'd prefer 'off', but we agreed to a compromise. She had music selection control in her car; I had it in mine. She was willing to give music control up so she wouldn't have to drive, since she much preferred to ride shotgun.

Anyway, I sang along with 'Disturbed' about feeling stupefied, then with '3 Doors Down' as they sang about being Superman. Cassie ignored the first song, but I noticed her singing along under her breath to the second. Without looking, she reached over and bumped the volume up a notch, then went right back to her makeup. I smiled and lost myself to the lyrics.

"You called me strong, you called me weak, but still your secrets I will keep;
You took for granted all the times I never let you down;
You stumbled in and bumped your head, if not for me then you'd be dead;
I picked you up and put you back on solid ground.

"If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman?
If I'm alive and well, will you be there holding my hand?
I'll keep you by my side with my superhuman might,
Kryptonite..."

I thought about Fuzz, Dad, Mia, and Shay. I wasn't a Superman, not if it meant keeping all the bad things in their lives from happening, not if it meant being perfect and never making a mistake. Had I been trying to be that ... that fictional character? Had I thought I should have been better than I could possibly be?

"You know, you're kind of my Superman," Cassie said.

"No, I'm not," I said, without thinking.

Then I caught myself and looked at her, surprised that she seemed to know what I was thinking. She was watching me with a raised eyebrow.

"You don't even know what I'm going to say." She started putting her makeup away.

"I was actually thinking about something else, and it was a gut response," I lied. "Anyway, I'm not sure how you came to that conclusion."

"Well, no matter what, whether you're weak or strong, you're always there for me." I started to protest—there was NO way she could say that I was there for her during the last month, month and a half—but she cut me off. "You are. Even when you were going through everything this spring, I knew that I could count on you if it really came down to it. For example, it would have been so easy for you to slip up and tell Kristin and her friends that I like girls, but you never did."

I thought about what she said. I never even considered sharing her secret, no matter what, but I didn't think that made me Superman. While I'd like to think she was right—that I would have been there for her if she really needed me — I'm not sure that I would have been able to get past my own problems. One thing was for sure, though ... I actually might have been a little bit crazy during all the drama, just like the song said. I brushed the thought aside.

"I didn't come right out and say anything," I said, "But I feel like I'm partly to blame for the rumors starting."

"Why do you say that?"

"I was caught up in my own drama and quit being there as the guy in your relationship with Danica."

"The rumors started before the accident, Brody."

"Yeah, but my being with Kristin and not with you seemed to add fuel to the fire."

"Whatever. I don't see it that way at all."

"Well maybe us being boyfriend and girlfriend in public will now kill the rumors."

"I personally don't really care about them." She cocked her head. "I hope you know that my feelings for you have nothing to do with my relationship with Danica. I love you for you, regardless of all that.

What could I say to that? "Thanks," was all I could come up with. I reached over and squeezed her hand. "So what did you want to talk about?"

"Have you decided what you're going to say to Kristin?"

"Not really. I mean, I've thought about it a lot. I guess I'll just be honest and tell her I think we should break it off, that I let things get further than they should have, but that it needs to stop. I'm not breaking things off with my girlfriends, so it's not fair to you guys OR Kristin."

She nodded. "Speaking of me ... I think we should just play it cool, like we were right after Christmas; affectionate, but not a couple publicly."

That surprised me. "Why?" I asked.

"Imagine how she would feel if we walked in with our arms around each other, being all lovey-dovey. Considering how she feels about you—and how she thinks you feel about her— don't you think that seeing us like that would have to be a slap in her face? Besides, I really don't want to have to get in a fight with her because she thinks I stole her man."

"You don't really think she'd do that ... do you? Fight you, I mean." Why the hell anyone would want to fight over someone who CHOSE someone else is beyond me.

"You never know. People do the strangest things for love."

Cassie was probably right, even though announcing to the whole school as soon as I walked in that 'Cassie fuckin' Jones' was MY girlfriend, is what I wanted to do. "OK, but for how long? I'm not sure how long I want to wait before telling people we're a couple now."

She thought about that a second. "I don't know, a week or two? Maybe a bit more. We can play it by ear based on how she responds to your breakup."

I nodded. "What about Danica? I mean, we've stepped our relationship up. Isn't she going to feel slighted?"

"No ... no, I don't think so. I mean, we like each other, but we both know this isn't long term. We've never agreed to be exclusive or anything. It's kind of hard to be when you're hiding in the closet. Besides, I don't plan to end my relationship with her. We'll just be spending less time together."

"I don't want her to hate me."

Cassie patted my knee. "She won't. I think she's always suspected how I really feel about you. She's given me no signs that she wants to make our relationship more than good friends who have sex."

"I think you need to have a talk with her, regardless. She should probably be prepared whenever we do make our public appearance as a couple."

She sighed. "You're probably right. OK, I'll talk to her this week."

"Are you going to tell her about Mia and Shay, about having sex with them this weekend? I know you said you weren't exclusive, but..."

She was already shaking her head. "She knew that they were coming to visit you and that I'd be seeing them. Remember, she was part of your Valentine's Day present, so she knows how open everything is between us. She knew there was a chance that I might have sex with them." She paused. "You know, I actually invited her to come over for a little fling with Mia and Shay, but she was quick to reject that idea. I'm not entirely sure she is as sexually open as I thought."

There was one last issue that I felt needed to be addressed.

"What about Brendan?"

Cassie tensed up. "We're just friends."

"Cassie..." I said, drawing out her name.

"What? There's nothing serious between us," she uncomfortably fidgeted.

"Why do I feel like you aren't being entirely honest about him?"

"Just friends, Brody."

"Just friends like you and I used to be just friends? Just friends like you and Danica are? I know you probably haven't done all the things with him that he says you have, but I've seen enough to know you guys do more than just kiss."

"OK, fine, so he and I fooled around some, but there's no commitment there."

"Does he know that? This may not be all that different than what's going on between me and Kristin. I just..." I trickled off, not sure of how to say what I wanted.

"You just what?"

"I don't like him; but I don't want to have a confrontation with HIM because he thinks I stole his girl. He's usually the dumper, not the dumpee, so I have no idea of how he'll take it. Besides, I don't..." I shook my head. Were my feelings really out of concern for Cassie, or was I just ... jealous?

Cassie sighed. "Out with it, Brody."

"I just ... I know that we have a pretty open relationship, sexually-speaking, but..." I took a deep breath. "I don't want you hanging around him anymore."

She was quiet for a second. "So you forbid me from being with him?"

I cringed a bit at her use of the word 'forbid'. I didn't control her. I had my own friends—girls even—and didn't want Cassie telling me to stop hanging out with them. I mean, if there was someone she really didn't like and didn't want me to hang around, I was pretty sure I'd stop, but I wouldn't like her telling me I had to. So it wasn't like I would ever FORBID her from hanging around Brendan, even if I really, really didn't want her hanging with him. He was bad, bad news. I couldn't forbid her, but maybe I could get her to see my way.

"Cassie, I'm ... I'm your boyfriend, right?" I asked, unsure of how to frame my position.

I was parked by now. Cassie was silently looking out the windshield. The corners of her mouth tugged up, which made me raise an eyebrow. I turned the car off, and to my surprise, Cassie leaned over and gave me a warm, tender kiss. Then she broadly smiled at me.

"OK, Brody, I'll tell Brendan we're done." She kissed me again. "Good luck with Kristin," she said.

"You too," I replied, but all I could really think about was how quickly she changed her mind about Brendan. I'd expected to have to plead my case a bit more.

We got out of the car and headed into the building, walking a respectable distance apart, and I began to prepare myself for seeing Kristin. I wasn't sure what to expect from her. She was surprised by the presence of Mia and Shay in my house the last time I'd seen her, two days earlier. Would she give me the cold shoulder? Would she make a scene? I have to admit that I was surprised to see her standing at her usual spot beside my locker, Shawna and Kimmie in tow. Was I ready to be verbally skewered? Cassie gave me a sympathetic smile and headed toward her own locker.

Kimmie spotted me first and raised an eyebrow. Kristin saw her reaction and turned to look over her shoulder. Her expression was unreadable. She smiled her fake-y smile.

"Hi, Brody! Did you have a good break?"

She didn't hug me or take my hand or anything, which was abnormal for her. I fidgeted.

"Um, yeah. It was—"

"Cool." She turned back to her friends. "So anyway, I met this guy named Stefano. He's Italian. Mmm..." She made a face like she'd just tasted something decadent. "He's tall, dark, and GORGEOUS. He had the sexiest accent."

"Oooh," Shawna cooed, "What happened?"

So that's how it was going to be. Was she trying to make me jealous? I glanced at Kimmie and she looked at Kristin before settling her eyes on me. I could tell that her mind was racing a mile a minute while trying to figure out what was going on.

"What DIDN'T happen?" Kristin sighed, "He was AMAZING in bed! He—"

"Can I talk to you, Kristin?" I blurted out.

She looked at me, her face a mixture of faux innocence and triumph. It was clear that she assumed her ploy had worked, that she'd gotten the upper hand back.

"What about, Brody?"

"I just ... Can we talk alone?"

Her smile widened a bit. "Sure." She turned to her friends. "See you girls next break?"

Shawna and Kimmie said their goodbyes, but Kimmie hesitated a second, giving both of us another last look of confusion. I pulled Kristin down a nearly deserted hallway by the lockers.

"Listen, Kristin, about Monday..."

"Oh, it was SO nice to meet your girlfriends." She said 'girlfriends' like it was a swear word. "I guess they fucked your socks off, huh?"

"Kristin—"

"That's what's great about spring break. Lots and lots of sex."

I sighed. "I'm sorry, Kristin."

"'Bout what? Having sex with your girlfriends? Why on earth would you need to apologize for that?"

"For not telling you. I mean, I know things had gotten kind of serious between us."

She laughed like I'd just said something crazy funny. I bristled to hear it. "Serious? Brody, there's nothing serious between us. We're horny teenagers. You're good in bed, especially for a sophomore, but ... well, you're a sophomore, I'm a senior. You are a convenient, no-strings-attached way to get my rocks off. I'm sorry if you thought there was something more. We're fuck-buddies, Brody."

I watched her throughout her little monologue. I heard her words, but I didn't let them get to me. I could tell they were a defense mechanism, meant to protect her from getting hurt by trying to hurt me instead. Her eyes actually betrayed her, though. She WAS hurt by my actions. I could see it. She HAD been hoping we were getting serious. Maybe she didn't plan on extending things after graduation, but it wasn't just 'convenient, no-strings-attached' sex.

"Well, we can't be 'fuck-buddies' anymore," I said.

She faltered a second. Her mask of indifference nearly slipped, but she quickly recovered. "So your girlfriends are jealous? Are they afraid that I'm going to steal their man?"

"No, actually. They're pretty open about stuff. It's me; I can't do it anymore. It's not fair to them or to you, regardless of their openness, or the fact that you and I are not getting serious." I said it like I accepted her words as fact, but I knew better. "We can't have sex anymore, Kristin."

"Sure, fine. It kind of lost its luster after my spring break, anyway." She sighed again. "I mean, Stefano was 22, and VERY experienced." The early bell rang. "Listen, Brody, thanks for giving me some good times. I'm sure you'll eventually be able to move on. We better get to class. I'll see you around, 'k?"

I watched as she walked away and around the corner. Well, it didn't go like I expected at all. I shouldn't have been surprised that she would have covered her feelings up in order to either remain in control, or protect herself, or a little of both. I was still scratching my head trying to figure out how she turned it around like I was going to be pining after her, but the truth was that the whole thing just made me sad. I was sad that my stupid actions had hurt people. I was sad that my friendship with Kristin was likely dead in the water. I'd really grown to care about her. I didn't want to entirely end our friendship, but even I knew her "see you around" and "sophomore" references meant that I'd been relegated to lower life-form status again and not worthy of her time.

Well, if one good thing could come from Kristin's reaction, it was that I probably wouldn't have to wait a week or two before I could broadcast that Cassie was my girlfriend.

I was heading to lunch later that day, looking forward to seeing Cassie for the first time since I'd broken it off with Kristin. I peered into the cafeteria as I got in line, but to my surprise, she wasn't at our table.

"She was talking to Brendan a few minutes ago."

I whipped around to see Danica standing behind me. She looked upset, and I could see that she thought things were picking up where they left off before spring break, with me and her being pushed aside for that prick. I stepped out of the line and we moved away from everyone else so that we could have some privacy.

"Oh," I said. Then I gave her a reassuring smile. "Don't worry. I think we'll be seeing a bit more of her at lunch from now on."

Danica cocked her head. "I'm not worried about that. She told me after first period that you guys FINALLY are a couple."

"Oh," I said again. I hadn't expected Cassie to act so quickly in letting Danica and Brendan know. That left Danica's peculiar mood unexplained. Unless... "Hey, I, uh ... I won't try to come between you and ... um, I won't interfere in your ... friendship." I glanced around, hoping nobody was listening.

She just shook her head. "I'm good with things. I'm just worried because Brendan didn't look like he was taking it very well."

I froze. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, he was kind of getting all up in her face, and..."

I didn't wait to hear the rest, taking off at a dead sprint instead. I'd never heard that Brendan got violent with any of his girlfriends, but I'd also never heard of Brendan getting dumped. Who knew how he'd respond? I wasn't about to let another of my girls be hurt. I slowed to a fast walk when I saw some teacher step out of a classroom to tack something to a bulletin board, then started jogging again when she turned around and went back in the room. I should have asked Danica where she saw them talking, but all I could think about was getting to Cassie. To my relief, I saw them as I rounded into the hallway where I'd seen them together before. I slowed to a stop far enough away so that they didn't see me at first. I was content to just watch unless things got out of hand.

Brendan looked furious, and he loomed over Cassie with his hands in fists down his side. Cassie, on the other hand, looked almost serene as she spoke. He was vigorously shaking his head, but Cassie reached out and gently put her hand on his arm. His hand shot up and clamped on to her upper arm. For the first time, Cassie looked concerned. That was my cue. I walked towards them. Cassie saw me first, and the look of relief on her face made my heart swell.

" ... don't end things," Brendan was saying, "It's my decision when it's over."

Brendan turned to look in my direction just as I stopped a few feet from them. His expression hardened even more.

"Hey, Cass," I said, "Everything OK?"

"Go away, Brown. This is none of your business."

Cassie clearly didn't mention my involvement in their breakup, or else he would have thought it entirely my business.

I pretended to ignore him. "What's up, Cassie?"

"I was just telling Brendan that I don't want to go out with him anymore, and he isn't taking it well."

"Shut up, Bitch," Brendan said, and he squeezed her arm harder, making her wince.

"You're hurting me," she said as she tried to pull free.

"Take your hand off her, Brendan," I evenly said, but I felt my blood beginning to boil inside.

"Fuck you, Brown."

He punctuated that by giving her a little shake. I almost went into a rage, but I kept it in check, knowing how much Cassie hated violence.

"I'm only going to tell you one more time," I said, "Take your hand off my girlfriend."

Cassie gasped and Brendan's jaw dropped.

"What the fuck?" he growled, "You're dumping me for this wuss?"

Cassie sighed. "I'm not dumping you for anyone. I never was your girlfriend, Brendan. It's like I said before: I just ... I just don't like you that way."

"Yeah, but I just figured that it was because you're really a dyke, not because of HIM!"

Cassie's expression hardened. He still hadn't dropped his hand, and I was just about ready to take drastic measures, when Cassie reached over with her other hand and grabbed his wrist.

"Take your hand off me or I'll scream."

He hesitated for just a second, but he dropped his hand when she took a deep breath.

"You know what?" he asked, looking back and forth between Cassie and me. "I think you really are just a fucking lesbo dyke tease, and he's nothing but a queer-ass knob jockey who probably sucks cock better than you do."

I tensed up, but Cassie's hand caught mine, and she tightly held it down beside us.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you, Brendan," she said, "But I don't..."

"Hurt me?" he ruefully laughed, "Whatever." He glared at me. "You can keep the bitch; she was a dead lay, anyway."

Then he turned and stormed off. We were silent as we watched him go. Cassie finally sighed.

"Well, that's over," she said. "He didn't take it well, as you can see. Thanks for coming when you did. I don't really think that he would have gotten physical, but you never know."

I squeezed her hand, which I still held. "What happened before I got here?"

"More of the same; I didn't tell him that I had a boyfriend; I just said ... well, you heard what I said. He kept telling me that I didn't have a choice." She looked up at me. "You said he was trouble, and you were right. Thank you for telling me to stop seeing him."

I was a bit taken aback by that comment. Didn't she WANT to stop seeing him? Surely, she didn't just do this because I told her how I felt? I mean, didn't his reaction just then prove what I was saying? Cassie hugged me and rested her cheek on my chest.

"I never had sex with him," she whispered, "I sucked his ... him ... once, but mostly it was just making out and stuff."

I grimaced. I didn't want to hear this because it put images of Cassie and Brendan in my head that I really didn't want there. Besides, what she did with him was between the two of them. She didn't have to explain anything to me.

"Cassie..."

"Why did you tell him I was your girlfriend? I thought we decided to wait until things blew over. It's going to get around now; Kristin's going to be upset."

"Probably not any more than she already is."

I told her about my talk with Kristin. Cassie just shook her head.

"We're a pair, aren't we?" she giggled, "Maybe we could fix Kristin up with Brendan."

I just chuckled, and didn't say anything. Getting together with those two weren't our smartest moves.

As it turns out, EVERYONE knew that I was 'officially' with Cassie by the end of school that day, or in some folks' minds, 'officially back together' with her. I figured that Brendan said something to someone, but the person 'leaking' that bit of information was none other than Cassie herself. I found out from Cassie between our last two periods that she overheard a couple of junior cheerleaders repeating some snarky comments Kristin made to Shawna; something about how I might be nice to look at, but that I was less than adequate where it really mattered—personality, brains, and of course, sex. I personally didn't give a rat's ass what rumors floated around about me. I mean, my friends liked me for me, plus I was moving in the summer, so I wouldn't see most of these kids again if I didn't want to after that.