Gold Plated Garbage Truck

Forward

To begin with, I first off want you to know that this is a serious work of literary art. The people in here are as real as my fevered imaginings could make them. I grew up with these people and others just like them and I want you to know that they are all a bunch of four flushing rotten sons of bitches with no truth in them. That's what makes them so charming and fun to be around.

The truth be known, some of these people really exist, but they're around my age or older now, so it doesn't make a damn what I write about them because they're all too senile to give a shit anyhow. You won't find Humper, Oklahoma the town on any map, nor even Humper County. But if you go to Southwestern Oklahoma you will find a bunch of inbred hillbillies who think incest is a great spectator sport. (As well as a fun contact sport) Here and there you'll even find there are a few of the so-called "normal people" live there too. But we weed them out as fast as we find 'em.

If sex offends you and you can't see the humor in a hundred twenty pound dude getting' it on with his three hundred pound bride who also happens to be his half sister, then give it up and go hold a conversation with George Bush the Junior. Come to think about it he would fit right in down here in Humper because he is so dumb and full of shit. So, like I said, this is a serious work of art about seriously fucked up people.

Now you been warned...