Chapter 21

Abigail shoved the last thick file folder into the overstuffed drawer, then plopped down in her desk chair. She fantasized about working in a paperless office, and wondered if she should ask about that when she interviewed for jobs in Seattle.

It was hard to believe that she and Jack—and hopefully, Allison—would be moving in less than a month. She hoped that something would pan out with one of the interviews she'd been able to line up. She checked her desk calendar. She would be flying out in two weeks, on a Thursday, and staying at least five days. She had three interviews arranged and would be looking for a place for them to live. She also planned to run by the University campus and get as much information about the school as she could. Jack had received some things from the Business department, but very little had to do with the school as a whole. Allison also made her promise to get as much information as she could about the high schools.

With her degree in Social Work and her emphasis in Business, she hoped to land a spot at another health care facility, similar to this one. The learning curve would be less strenuous, plus she figured with her good brains and work ethic if she worked in one place long enough she might even get to move into management someday. The thought brought that now familiar bitterness back to the surface. The optimist who married Jack had been replaced with a realist. As a newlywed, she dreamt of quickly having children and spending her days as a full-time mother. They'd done nothing to delay pregnancy, and during the previous spring had even gone through two rounds of Clomid, the fertility drug, but all to no avail. Now instead of dreaming of raising children, she was forced to think of becoming a career woman. She knew her chance hadn't completely passed yet, but she found her hope dwindling.

Thoughts of babies and Seattle obviously brought Analise to mind. With a sigh, she snatched up her phone and dialed her estranged sister's number. Abigail figured she needed to take care of this dreaded business while her mood was already turning sour.

After a few rings, Analise answered.

"Hello? Baxter Residence."

"Hi, Analise. This is Abigail."

Silence.

"We need to talk, Annie. About the baby."

"Well, well. I wondered when this call was going to come. You've formed your tirade about my indiscretion with your husband, and now you're ready to lay it on me."

"Annie..."

"Let me ask you a question, Abigail. Did you kick Jack out when you found out about him and Allison, when you found out about me and him, or when you found out I was having his baby?"

Abigail threw her defenses up. "I didn't kick him out."

Analise let out a spiteful laugh. "Of course not. Jack Williams can do no wrong. He just has to say sorry and wag that big cock of his around, and you'll forgive him for everything. And you are sitting there all pious like and thinking I'm a slut. Look in the mirror, dear sister, before you start casting stones."

Abigail closed her eyes and literally bit her tongue, bringing tears to her eyes. A painful move, but one that helped her regain her focus.

"I didn't call to argue, Analise. Jack has tried to call you repeatedly, but you just hang up on him or don't answer his calls. So I thought I'd try to get through to you."

"There's nothing that your husband can say that I'm interested in hearing."

"Jack doesn't want to abandon this baby if it is his. He wants to help."

"I don't need his help. What would he offer? Money? We have plenty. Fatherhood? Like Shane would ever let that happen. As far as Shane knows, the baby is his. I plan to keep it that way."

Abigail wanted to reach through the phone and choke her sister, but she knew Jack wanted to try to be something in this baby's life. She took a deep breath, and tried again.

"We are moving to the Seattle area. Jack was accepted into the University of Washington."

Silence.

"I'm coming out in a couple of weeks to interview for some jobs."

"Well, isn't that just lovely?"

"One of the reasons Jack chose UW is to be near the baby. Even if the child never knows he's the real father, he wants to be a part of its life."

"His life. It's a boy."

"Oh." Abigail felt a quick twinge of sadness. It was as if hearing the sex of the baby made her own infertility even more agonizing. "Well, Jack wants to be a part of his life, even if he's just considered the uncle. He's willing to try to mend fences to make that happen. So am I."

"And what about Allison? I assume she'll be out to visit more than once, seeing as Jack is her lover and all. Is she ready to mend fences?"

"I'm not entirely sure. She was hurt pretty badly, Analise."

"Haven't you talked about it?"

Abigail thought she caught a change in Analise's tone, suddenly less confrontational and more interested in hearing these answers.

"We have a little, but truthfully, we haven't really had much time to talk."

"She too busy with your husband?" The confrontational tone was back.

Abigail wondered how much her sister knew about the drama of the last few months, wondered if their mother had shared anything. "When was the last time you talked to Mom or Dad?"

"Why do you care?"

"I ... I just wondered. Mom has never mentioned your baby."

Silence.

"Analise?"

"I haven't told her."

"What? You're due in a matter of weeks. Why haven't you told her?"

"Partly because I haven't talked to her at all in months. Partly because I don't want to hear all her sickening advice about preparing for birth and raising babies, like she did such a phenomenal job or something. I don't need her help." Analise's volume rose as she spoke. "And I don't need yours or Jack's or anyone else's. I'm handling everything just fine. Just leave me alone, Abigail."

The phone went dead. Abigail's ears were still ringing from the decibel level of those last words. She slammed the phone down in frustration.

"She's a stupid, pig-headed bitch," she muttered under her breath. Fine. She wanted to be isolated from her family. So be it. Abigail had tried. It was time to move on.

"Brianna?"

Brianna looked up from her library computer screen. Merrigan was standing there, fidgeting nervously with the hem of her shirt. Brianna was surprised to see the redhead talking to her. She and Merrigan Mandrake had never been friends in the three or four years they had gone to school together. The words they exchanged on the night Brianna was searching for Tyson and Allison were the first and only words they'd spoken to each other. Brianna stared for a few moments, not really knowing how to react. Eventually she regained her senses.

"Hey, Merrigan. Um, have a seat." Brianna cleared her pack from the chair next to hers and the other girl sat down slowly. "What's up?"

"I was just wondering how Allison is doing? I've seen her around, but I just couldn't..." Her voice trailed off, and it looked like she was choking back tears. "I didn't want to seem like I was being nosy."

"She's, uh, she's doing good. Much better than I thought she would." Brianna studied Merrigan, trying to see behind her outward expression. "I never thanked you. You know, for helping me that night. If it wasn't for you, things would have turned out much worse."

Merrigan shrugged and looked around the nearly empty school library. She continued to fidget nervously, and Brianna wondered if she was going to fray the hem of her tee by rubbing it so much. "Can I ask you a question?" Merrigan asked quietly, without looking at the other girl.

"I guess."

"Why didn't you all go to the police after you found her?"

Brianna wondered how much she should share with the other girl. Merrigan was part of Tyson's circle and was dating one of his cronies. She decided to play it safe. "I'm not sure I can really say. Allison had her reasons."

"Yeah." Merrigan finally looked at Brianna, and momentarily a pained look crossed her face. Suddenly she stood up. "Anyway, I just wondered how she was. I'll see you around."

She turned to leave. Something was gnawing at Brianna's mind, so she blurted it out.

"Why didn't you go to the police?"

Merrigan stopped but didn't turn around. "I ... I didn't feel it was my place. I figured you had it handled."

"I didn't mean then, Merrigan. I meant after Tyson forced you to have sex with him."

Merrigan visibly flinched. Slowly she turned around, the pained expression back. "He ... he didn't force me. I wanted it."

"Bull shit."

Merrigan flinched again, and her eyes welled with tears. She sunk back into the chair, her head hung low. She was quiet for a long time. Brianna glanced at the clock. Her class was drawing to a close, but she didn't want to rush Merrigan. She sensed this was a monumental moment for the other girl.

"I never told anyone, not even my friends. How did you know?"

"I could see it in your eyes. I thought that might have been the case when you said you'd been with him, but I only knew for sure just now."

"Please don't tell anyone. I don't want anyone to know."

"Why not?"

Merrigan looked up again, a sad smile on her face. "I have my reasons."

Brianna smiled back. "Touché." She decided to change tracks. "What did Matt say that night after you said you'd slept with Tyson?"

Anger replaced the sadness in Merrigan's expression. "When he took me home, he wondered why I put out for Tyson but not for him, then he tried to get me to have sex with him. I told him no, he got mad, called me a slut and all kinds of other names, and broke up with me."

Brianna gritted her teeth. Why were some guys such assholes? "I'm sorry I got you in trouble with your boyfriend."

Merrigan dismissed Brianna's apology. "Doesn't matter. We'd have broken up before long anyway. He was only after one thing. I'm guessing Tyson bragged about screwing me, and Matt thought he'd be next in line." She put her hand on Brianna's arm. "I'm not like that, Brianna. Honestly." Her voice seemed pleading, as if she desperately needed Brianna to believe her.

"I believe you, Merrigan. I know how those guys can be."

"Actually, Tyson is the only guy I've ever been with." A few tears escaped her eyes and raced down her cheeks. "I was saving myself until I got married."

Brianna felt a sudden surge of sorrow mix with her anger. Not only had the jerk raped her, but she was a virgin. For some reason, Brianna couldn't help but feel angrier about that, and also incredibly sad for the girl sitting beside her. She took Merrigan's hand in hers and squeezed it reassuringly.

"Then you're still saving yourself. In my mind, no one can take your virginity. You have to give it up freely."

More tears fell from Merrigan's eyes. Brianna felt the sudden urge to embrace the redhead, but she hesitated. The bell rang and Merrigan wiped at her face and stood.

"Listen, Merrigan. I know you don't really know me, but if you ever just need someone to talk to about ... anything, you just need to ask me. I'd like to be your friend."

Merrigan smiled. "Thanks, Brianna. I'd like that, too."

Jack walked slowly through campus. He was done with classes for the day. His work study at the radio station was over for the semester. Phil wasn't in his office. Gimel wasn't answering his phone. Abigail was at work. Allison was off limits. Which meant that he had nothing to do the rest of the day but agonize over how to confront Ted.

Time was coming down to the wire. Jack had picked his graduation day as the proverbial deadline, given Ted's demands. That was only two weeks away. Phil's contacts hadn't been able to dig up any more concrete evidence. Gimel had asked around, but was only able to dig up more people wanting to talk about the same old stories of bigotry Jack already knew about. Word traveled in the Hispanic community just the same as any other, apparently. Seemed just about everyone had heard about minorities being black-listed by the powers that be, and they were all more than willing to give their take on it. Yet they were always the same stories.

Jack sighed and hoisted his pack more securely over his shoulder. He wondered if he was going about this all wrong. He and Abigail agreed that they would wait until she returned from Seattle to confront Ted, hoping that a job offer and a lease would strengthen their argument. That and it would give Phil's folks more time.

Tomorrow was Abigail's last day at the mental health facility. She'd fly out the following day and be gone for five days. She had interviews on Thursday and Friday, and would visit the university, as well. Then Saturday and Sunday to house hunt, a quick visit to the high schools on Monday and home Monday night. The thought of being away from her that long was unpleasant at best. However, they were hopeful that the trip would go a long way to establishing a life across the country. Most important to both of them was whether they could succeed in bringing Allison with them.

Jack headed into the student center, grabbed a Mountain Dew and plopped down on a bench in the commons area. After taking a swig of his drink, he opened his backpack to extract his planner. He thumbed to his checklist and quickly glanced through it. Nothing to mark off, so he flipped over to his pages of notes. For about the thousandth time he read through them, trying to work out in his mind if these scrawled words really were the best way to handle Ted. He made some minor adjustments and reread them. So much of his plan relied on Ted's desire to avoid potentially disgraceful public scandals. Jack had to admit that wasn't much to go on, especially if Jack's assessment of his father-in-law's pride was wrong. He gradually concluded that he would be forced to pull out the results of Phil's investigation, one way or another. If Phil's contacts couldn't come up with the necessary proof, Jack would be left holding a garbage hand. The stakes of this game, however, were considerably higher than any card game.

"Hey, stud."

Jack's head shot up at the sound of the feminine voice. When he saw the owner of the voice, he tried not to cringe. Instead, he put on a fake smile.

"Hey, Mariah."

Mariah Carter was the younger sister of one of his old high school buddies. Marcus Carter had been with Jack on several of his wild teenage adventures, but unlike Jack, he'd not been able to pull himself out of the lifestyle. He was now a resident of the Green River Correctional Complex. Mariah represented Jack's old life.

Jack turned his attention back to his notes, hoping the attractive blonde would get the hint and just merge back into the throngs of students.

"Too busy to talk to an old friend?" she asked as she sat down next to him on the bench. Apparently it didn't matter whether she got the hint or not.

Jack looked back up at her. "Um, yeah, sorry. Finals coming up, and then graduation. I'm pretty busy."

"Graduation, huh? I'm jealous. I still have a year to go."

"Well, it'll be over before you know it." He smiled politely and turned his attention back to his notes.

Mariah wasn't just an old friend. She was an old flame. Even though she was a few years younger than Marcus and Jack, she and a few of her friends had been a part of their crowd. She'd always had a thing for Jack—and on more than one occasion they'd fooled around. They never had sex, but they'd done just about everything else, usually under the influence of alcohol. Eventually they started going out. Mariah, however, wasn't really all that picky about whom she was fooling around with, and after a while Jack just got tired of her antics. He had one last fling with her right after his high school graduation, and even though he was drunk and stoned, he was in control enough—not to mention so afraid of catching something—that he stopped it before it went too far. He hadn't seen or heard from her again until three years ago, when they literally ran into each other in the stairwell of the Business Administration building. A brief chat that day convinced Jack of her continued interest in him. He brushed her off then, too, just like he was trying to do now.

He dreaded her presence, mostly because it reminded him of a time of his life he wanted to forget, but also because he was already married and didn't need her presence to complicate his life. He almost laughed at that thought, not failing to catch the irony of it as he stared now at the solution to his current fucked up situation.

He realized that she was still sitting next to him, even though the conversation had died. He tried to focus on his notes, but he could feel her eyes burning into his flesh. Finally he looked up at her. She was smiling warmly at him.

"What are you doing after graduation?"

"Um, I'm going to grad school out west."

"Really? Where?"

Jack momentarily felt like lying. "The University of Washington."

"Now I'm really jealous. I've always wanted to go to the Pacific Northwest. I've heard it's beautiful there. When do you leave?"

"Probably as soon as the semester is over. We want to get settled."

Mariah stuck her lower lip out in an exaggerated pout. "Oh, darn. I won't get to see you around campus anymore."

"Mariah..."

"I'm teasing you, Jack," Mariah laughed. "Relax. What about your wife?" She gestured to his wedding band.

"What about her?"

"Is she going to school out there, too?"

"Uh, no. Abigail graduated a year ago. She's leaving for a couple of days for some job interviews." As soon as the words came out, Jack regretted it. Mariah's eyebrows rose for just a second, and her eyes sparkled.

"Really? That's too bad. I was going to invite you two over to a great end of year bash this weekend."

Sure you were, he thought. He again gave a polite smile. "Yeah. That's too bad."

The conversation died again, and Jack silently hoped Mariah would make her exit. He hoped in vain.

"You know, you could always still come, Jack. You don't have anything going on Saturday night, do you?"

Jack lifted his planner and indicated his stuffed backpack. "Studying."

"You could just stay for an hour or so. It'll be a good way to unwind."

"Thanks, but no thanks."

"Come on. I'd really like it if you were there. What could it hurt?"

"I don't do parties anymore. I haven't had a drink of anything stronger than Mountain Dew since before I got married."

"That's OK. There are ... other things ... to do at the party." Jack could tell by the look in her eyes what those "other things" were.

"Mariah, I'm serious. Thanks for the invite, but I'm not interested."

She spoke her next words slowly. "Maybe I could come over and we could study together then." She put her hand on his knee.

"Sorry, Mariah," he said, more firmly, while he removed her hand. "Like I said, I'm not interested."

Her smile started to falter, but she caught herself. She stood up and looked down at him. "Suit yourself. It was nice seeing you again, Jack. Maybe we'll run into each other again some time."

With a flip of her hair, she turned on her heels and retreated into the stream of students. Jack watched her hips sway seductively until she was out of view. Finally he took a deep breath and shook his head, then turned his attention one more time to his notes.

Brianna sat tucked in the rear booth of the establishment, her eyes watching the front door. Each time the door would open and someone would walk in, her heart would sink and her fists would close tighter. Maybe Merrigan wasn't going to show. Several days had passed since their exchange in the school library, so Brianna was surprised when Merrigan had called her and asked if she could meet her somewhere. Brianna suggested a coffee shop just off the University campus and within walking distance of her house. While it was fun to be among the college students, Brianna knew few, if any, high school kids would be there. If Merrigan wanted to talk about Tyson or something like that, she figured there was less chance of people to overhear them here.

Now, waiting for Merrigan, Brianna was getting more and more nervous. The anticipation of what Merrigan wanted was driving her nuts. And if Brianna was honest with herself, there was something else. In just the few short minutes she'd been around the redhead, she found herself drawn to her. With Allison leaving, could Merrigan become enough of a friend to fill at least part of the void her absence would bring? Already, Brianna knew she was hoping Merrigan wanted to give friendship a try.

Maybe more.

Brianna visibly flinched at that last thought, then felt her face heat up with a blush. Where had that thought come from? How could she and Merrigan be more than friends? They were both girls, and Brianna and Merrigan were both into guys.

Except, Allison was apparently into guys AND girls. Well, at least one guy and one girl. So was it THAT strange?

All her indoctrinated morals said it was strange, wrong, even godless. So why was she having such a problem with getting that rogue thought of attraction out of her head? She'd never looked at another girl with that kind of attraction. But what about Tammy? her heart argued with her. She shook her head. That was just curiosity, that's all, her head argued back. Nothing there when we kissed, remember?

"Yes, I can be friends with Merrigan," Brianna whispered, as if saying it out loud ended the conflict inside her. "Just friends."

She didn't want to be anything more. Brianna wasn't a lesbian. Nor was she bisexual. Just friends. That was all she wanted. Surely that was all Merrigan wanted.

Just then the door pushed open. As the figure stepped from the shadows into the light, Brianna caught her breath and could only stare. The flaming red hair was unmistakable. Merrigan pushed her long bangs behind her ear with a finger and glanced around the room, looking for Brianna. She looked fabulous! Brianna had only seen her one time outside of school—the night she was looking for Allison—and for obvious reasons, Brianna was preoccupied that night. The redhead saw Brianna, smiled and began gliding over towards her. She was wearing a pair of lowrider jeans and tight tee that exposed a generous expanse of skin on her belly and hips. The outfit clung just right and accentuated the girl's beautiful bust and hourglass figure. As she got closer, Brianna noticed that Merrigan had on more makeup than she did at school, though not too much, and it drew attention to her blue eyes.

"Hey, Brianna. Thanks for meeting me tonight." She slid into the booth across the table from Brianna.

"Um, yeah. No problem." Brianna tried to calm her heart. Seeing another girl had never made her feel this way, but she just marked it down as casual attraction to a beautiful person. She'd never been shy about noticing attractive people, male or female.

Merrigan appeared nervous, similar to their earlier conversation in the library, but also different. She seemed to carry an air of resolve, too.

"Sorry I'm late; I had to wait for my brother to get home with the car. We have to share it. Mom and Dad said they will buy us our own cars when we each turn 18, but until then..." she smiled and held up her hands with a shrug.

"It's alright. I've not been here long," Brianna lied. She'd actually arrived early, and had been sitting for nearly 30 minutes. "How about we grab something?"

The girls left their purses on the table where they could see them, and went up to the counter.

Each ordered a drink—French roast coffee for Merrigan, mint hot chocolate for Brianna—and stood in line to pay. When it came their turn, Merrigan insisted on paying.

"It's the least I can do, pulling you out of your house at the last minute."

"I don't mind," Brianna said. "Really. I always have time for a friend." Merrigan smiled at her, then paid for both drinks. As they slid back into their seats, Brianna watched the other girl. She decided to let Merrigan bring up the reason for their meeting when she was ready.

They sipped their hot drinks silently for a few minutes; finally Merrigan put her cup down and took a deep breath.