Chapter 1

Once upon a time, a long time ago, there was a woodcutter. He made his living by selling wood to his neighbors. In those days, wood was hard to come by, because most of the forests with good wood for furniture in them belonged to the King. The King, knowing that the people would strip his precious forests bare, unless they were protected, had his chief witch put a spell on all his forests.

Now, the witch, being basically lazy, just like everybody else, got bored with going around enchanting trees to extend their limbs magically, snatch up anyone who tried to cut them down, and wave them in the air before throwing them to their deaths. Those spells were a lot of work to do, and there were many many trees. So, instead, she enchanted a tree here, and a tree there, to be that way, and then cast a general spell on the rest of the forest, such that the trees could speak. All the trees, of course, threatened dire things, should someone come near them with an axe or saw, and everyone thought that all of them were deadly.

The forests were, thus, left alone for many many years, even after both the King and his witch were long dead. Stories about the danger in the forests, of course, lived much longer, as did the enchantments set in place by the witch. So, too, did the woodcutter's descendents still live, and Romero, his great great grandson was also a woodcutter. This one supported his family by selling not only fire wood, but also by supplying wood to the town carpenter, Master Cherry.

Now, in these days, good wood for furniture was hard to come by. The only place one could find it was in the enchanted forests. Men like Romero had learned, over the years, that some trees in the forest were enchanted, and some were not. He was very careful whenever he entered the forbidden places, because he well knew there were some trees that could move their branches without the help of the wind, and cause great harm.

Over the years, most of the trees gradually lost their ability to speak. They couldn't pass that enchantment on when they sent seeds out into the world, and most of them eventually died. As for the rest, there was rarely anyone to talk to... or at, as it were, and language not used, is soon lost. On top of that, cross pollination had altered the genetic makeup of some trees. Of course Romero didn't know that. He couldn't know that, because genes hadn't even been discovered yet. The trees were still protected and tended, sometimes, by the wood nymph, though they were a dying breed. Romero knew about wood nymphs, but only that, should a beautiful wood nymph maiden beckon to him, that he should avoid her. Men who answered the call were seldom seen again.

The cherry tree that he eyed, and examined, did not appear to be one of the ones that could snatch your axe from your hands, and then use it against you. He lopped off the tip of a branch with his knife, since that was easier to keep hold of, and when there was ho howl of dismay, and no movement in the branches, he was glad, because it was very old, and would yield much lumber. As he hefted his axe, he was satisfied that this was just a normal cherry tree.

In that, he was wrong, though he would never know it. He was merely pleased, as he chopped the tree down. He thought it very appropriate that he would be taking cherry wood to Master Cherry. Had he been a little younger, his failing ears might have heard the faint sounds of pain and complaint that came from the wood as his axe bit into it.

The logs Romero delivered to Master Cherry sat for a long while, as they cured, but eventually the carpenter decided to make a table out of them. He began with the legs, and it was then that he learned that the wood he now owned, had come from the enchanted forest. He learned this when he applied hammer and chisel, and the wood spoke to him, complaining of the hurt he was causing. Unnerved, he laid the wood aside.

A few weeks later, he was visited by Gepetto, the Puppet Master in town, who was looking for wood to make a special marionette. Gepetto lived an odd life, in that he was very popular, because of his work with puppets, which was amazing, but he was disliked by almost everyone because he had a foul disposition. He did well with characters he could control, and who could not speak to him, but poorly with real people. It never occurred to anyone that he might just be lonely, which, in fact, he was.

As such, when he began to craft his special marionette, and it spoke to him, he didn't mind all that much, though it was exceedingly strange. It didn't matter that he started on the head, because the wood spoke with no mouth. When he finished the eyes, they moved, and watched. When he finished the mouth, the puppet was able to speak much more loudly, though, and soon Gepetto had an almost constant headache from the chatter of the partially finished wooden boy. Still, he had wanted to make this particular marionette for many years, and there WAS now someone to talk to, so he carved on.

Part of the reason Gepetto wanted to make this particular design was because, as is true with many men as they grow older, Gepetto's bodily functions were beginning to fail. He had never married, but money has always been able to buy sex, so his life hadn't been bereft of sensual pleasure. The problem was that, these days, he wasn't getting his money's worth, because his own personal "wood" was about as cooperative as a wet noodle. That was becaue he didn't feel anything for the whores, and their impatience for him to be done and gone, and for his purse to be lighter, cooled his ardor.

His plan, since he could only enjoy sex vicariously, now, was to make a pair of marionettes that would be, shall we say, anatomically correct. They he could enact his fantasies, participating in a way that he hoped would render him some measure of... comfort.

Explaining this to a wooden puppet wasn't something he'd thought he'd have to do. And, as should be obvious, the puppet had no idea of what sex even was, which made the puppet master's headaches even worse. That he hadn't yet started the girl puppet, made it impossible for him to explain it by showing Pinocchio how things would eventually work.

So, putting bee's wax in his ears, to dull the incessant chatter of the half-made puppet, Gepetto carefully planned to use a knot for the puppet's wooden penis. That knot had, at one time, been the base of a branch, which Romero had chopped off. Had Gepetto thought of that as he carefully chiseled a likeness of is own penis (as he wished it still was) onto the loins of the talking toy, he might have winced. Of course his own chisel was causing as much, if not more, pain. But then all his chipping and sanding had elicited complaints from the ungrateful marionette-to-be, who complained about everything.

When he was finished, Gepetto stared at the phallus he had created. It was darker than the red of the rest of the wood, almost purple, which pleased him. He couldn't wait to see that phallus sliding into the beautiful girl puppet he intended to create next.

To this point, the only thing that moved, independently, on his creation, were the eyes, which followed his movements as he worked. To make it less uncomfortable, he painted each portion of the doll as it was completed. He made the eyes blue, because that made them more comfortable when they fell on him.

It was as he added the last touch of black to Pinocchio's shoes, and then went to clean his brush, that Gepetto got his first hint that things might get even more interesting. He heard clumping behind him, and turned to see the puppet walking stiffly around the room.

The very first thing he thought of was that, if it was still available, he had to get more of the enchanted wood from Master Cherry, with which to make the girl puppet. If the two of them could move independently, he wouldn't have to manipulate them in the act of sex. He could just sit and watch, while his hand did what a whore's pussy could no longer do.

But the problem was that Pinocchio had a head of wood, with no sense in it at all, and as he stumbled around the house, he knocked a chair into the fire place. It caught fire instantly, and smoke filled the house. Gepetto grabbed the chair, opened the door and threw it outside. It wasn't until he finished rubbing his eyes that he saw Pinocchio trundling off down the road, going in search of an adventure.

Now, we've all heard about what happened then, about Gepetto chasing him, and getting hauled off to prison, and how Pinocchio got into all sorts of trouble, killing a talking cricket, and meeting other characters in the story, such as the fox and cat, who tried to rob and kill him. All of that happened, to be sure, but there is much more that happened, and the telling got a bit skewed. That's because the adults didn't think little children should hear about what really happened when Pinocchio lied.

You see, it wasn't his nose that grew. Oh, no. It was that knot that Gepetto had carved into his little wooden penis that grew when he lied. It was the blue-haired Fairy Princess who found out, and that is what changed Pinocchio's life forever.

Now, here is where the story begins to stray from what you'll see if you buy the video. You see, the Fairy Princess was not, in fact, a Fairy Princess. She LOOKED like a Fairy Princess, but that was because of a spell she had cast on herself, which gave her her blue-haired appearance.

More, on that, later.

She did, in fact, have him cut down from the tree where the fox and the cat hanged him. Mr. Disney left that part out of the movie he made, but in the original story, that's what happened. When he put his money in his mouth, and they couldn't get at it to steal it, they hanged him, thinking to come back when he was dead and get the money then.

Of course a wooden puppet can't be killed by hanging, no matter how badly you want it to.

Instead, the Fairy Princess had him cut down and brought to her house, and placed in her bed, where she cared for him until, like the bad boy he was, he refused to take his medicine until the undertaker came for him. Then, he finally swallowed the curative, and revived well enough to tell his tale... and his first lie.

He told her he had lost the gold that the fox and cat had tried to steal from him.

The bedcovers suddenly rose two inches.

Both Pinocchio and the Fairy Princess stared at the tent.

"I know I am beautiful," said the princess, "but it is rude of you to show it so."

"I don't know what you're talking about," said the puppet. The tent shrank back down.

The Fairy Princess shrugged. "Now, about the money. You say you lost it?"

"Um... yes," said Pinocchio. The tent was suddenly back.

"And where, exactly did you lose it?" asked the gorgeous blue-skinned fairy, eyeing the lump.

"Well, since it is lost, I don't know where it is, which means I don't know where I lost it," said the puppet, using circular logic. "If I knew where I lost it, it wouldn't be lost, now would it?"

The Fairy Princess didn't seem to be paying much attention to his carefully crafted lie, though, instead, staring at the sheet covering his wooden body. He looked at where she was looking, and saw the sheet hovering, more or less, a foot above his body.

"How curious," said the little wooden boy.

"How curious, indeed," said the beautiful princess. She whipped the sheet off of the boy, to reveal a magnificent penis, as sturdy as a tree branch, which, for all intents and purposes, it was. The 'limb', in its growth, had ripped through the puppet's short pants, and protruded a foot into the air.

"Where did that come from?" asked Pinocchio?

"Where, indeed?" said the wide-eyed creature. She was undoing the ties of her filmy fairy dress as she asked the question. "It surely wasn't there when I put you into my bed."

"Whatever are you doing?" asked Pinocchio.

There was a shimmering in the air around the princess, and her hair suddenly became lime green, and her skin a mottled brown.

"I am a wood nymph," said the girl, staring at the foot long wooden penis in front of her. "A while back I tired of taking care of trees, and wanted to live a more exciting life, so I made myself look like a Fairy Princess." She leered at the wooden projection in front of her. "But I still have a special relationship with wood... and I intend to have a VERY special relationship with THAT wood."

Pinocchio, truly not understanding what was about to happen, but happy that she seemed to have forgotten all about the four gold pieces that currently lay under his tongue, simply lay there watching as, for the first time, he saw what Gepetto had tried to explain to him about "girls".

The nymph, who was not much taller than Pinocchio himself, didn't seem to have a flat place on her whole body, with the possible exception of her stomach, which actually seemed to dip inward in comparison to the two swells of greenish-brown flesh above it. The tips of those appeared to have buds of some type on them, dark green, and swollen, as if they were about to burst into flower any second. Below that flat stomach, her hips swelled too, making her look like an hour glass with arms and legs. Between those legs was something that, to Pinocchio's wooden eyes, appeared to be Spanish moss, also lime green, matching the whorls of stuff on top of her head. Pinocchio's own hair was just paint, over carved lines. Gepetto had planned on making a tiny wig to glue to his puppet's loins, but hadn't gotten around to that when the little wooden boy had gone running into the town.

"Why are you shedding your leaves?" asked Pinocchio. "It is only spring!"

"Spring is the time of blossoming," said the now panting nymph. Two drops of pale lavender... something... appeared on the tips of the things Gepetto had called "breasts".

"You're leaking sap!" said Pinocchio.

"I intend to make you leak a great quantity of sap too, my sweet," said the panting nymph as she crawled on top of Pinocchio. She gripped the club thrusting from his loins and aimed it at the Spanish moss between her legs.

"I don't understand any of this," complained the puppet.

His penis shrank two inches in the wood nymph's hand.

"What are you DOING?" she squealed. "Don't make it SMALLER!"

"I don't KNOW what I'm doing!" complained Pinocchio. "That's the problem!"

It shrank another two inches.

"No, no, NO!" complained the princess. "Make it big and hard like before!"

"I don't know HOW to make it bigger!" whined Pinocchio.

It shrank another two inches as he told the truth. It was now no larger than the average penis. The princess looked at it in dismay. She'd had four or five that size in just the last two days, and they had done little except make her more inflamed. In truth, she had taken on the tending of the poor wooden boy only to distract her from her normal feelings of lust. And, of course, because he was made of wood... but that was secondary. Or had been. Now it was her primary consideration.

"This will never do," grumped the nymph, climbing back off. Experimentally, she leaned over to lovingly suck the tip of the shrunken branch. It tasted faintly of cherry, which was pleasing, but nothing happened. She stood up, her hands on her hips, a frown on her beautiful face. "It got that big once, and that means it CAN get that big. I absolutely INSIST that you make it huge again!"

"It's never done that before," said Pinocchio truthfully. "I have no idea why it got that way at all."

Now the penis shrank to its original four inch length.

The princess looked at it in disgust. "Well, you're no good to me that way," she sulked. "Let's go back to the money. I believe we were talking about where you lost it. Where was that again?"

"I told you I don't know," said Pinocchio, grieved that she had remembered the money.

Suddenly his penis was, again, six inches long.

The nymph was not stupid. She'd been around for a couple hundred years. She had known the puppet was lying when he said he didn't know where the money was. She didn't actually care about the money, but was always curious when someone lied to her. She was also familiar with magic, and there had to be some kind of magic around this wooden boy, who could walk and talk. She drew the connection between his lying and the size of his... dildo... which is really what it was, after all, and immediately felt a lot better.