Chapter 3

It took us a few days but we soon became comfortable living together. Well not exactly comfortable. I broke out an old pair of pajamas that I hadn't worn in years and wore them in the evening after dinner when I was out about the house. Millie, I think tried to shock me by wearing almost nothing. She usually wore a tee-shirt that almost covered her ass. If the tee-shirt rode up, which it often did, I found myself trying not to stare at a pair of thong panties that barely covered her in front and hid nothing in the back. The result was that I walked around with a constant hard-on and ended up jacking myself off more times in a day than I had as a teenager. I also took a cold shower every evening in order to sleep at night.

Although we both had TVs in our bedrooms we chose to sit in the living room and read or talk most evenings, sometime watching TV together when a good movie was on. The swimming pool was well used both during the day and at night and my house was cleaner than it had ever been. Millie was a great cook and after a few days together I told her that I should pay her a salary, because she was working as both a housekeeper and a cook. She beamed a wonderful smile at me but refused the salary, saying that it was the least she could do to repay my kindnesses.

I was the happiest that I had been since my wife died. I found myself hoping that she would stay with me forever but I realized that she was younger and needed more than an old man to look after. I got the name of the garage that they had taken her car to from a receipt she left sitting on the nightstand by her bed and drove over one morning while she was cleaning the kitchen. Her car was fixable but he hadn't started on it. I found out she had had a $1,000 deductible on her insurance and had told the owner that she was going to have to wait until she could get the money. I told him to fix it and gave him a check for the deductible. I gave him my number and asked him to call me when he finished.

That night was the end of our first week living together. I decided to take her out to eat as I usually ate out once or twice a week anyway. After a week of her cooking I knew that we liked many of the same dishes. I knew she loved seafood and made reservations at a very nice restaurant that overlooked the water at Pensacola Beach. In the afternoon I told her about my plans for the evening. She acted upset that I hadn't given her more notice and started right away getting ready. She knew the place and like most places on Pensacola Beach it was business casual to beach casual, which meant anything goes. I had not planned to dress up, but after catching glimpses of her preparations decided that I had better be prepared myself. I had a nice summer suit and thought it would go nice with most of her dressier outfits that I had seen when I brought them over from Rob's.

We had a wonderful evening. I was a little rusty on the dance floor but managed to get by without stepping on too many of her toes. I thought living with her for a week and a very cold shower beforehand would have dulled any physical reaction to holding her close to me, but I was very much mistaken. It was obvious during our first slow dance that she could feel my hardness through my trousers. Hell, I was lucky that the lights were dim or I would have been even more embarrassed. Millie said nothing about it and when I tried to sit out a later slow dance, she pulled me to my feet and then pulled me closer to her on the dance floor. She let me know that she knew the source of my embarrassment when she ground her pelvis into me during the dance. By the time we returned to our seats I was afraid that I might erupt in my pants. Not only that but my palms were sweaty and my knees were weak.

When we finished the meal and left the dance floor for the last time to return to the car, we noticed a full moon shining over the warm gulf waters. She pulled my hand towards the water and we walked along the beach with the moon overhead shining on both the water and the white sands of the beach. She took her heels off and I carried them as we walked hand in hand along the beach. The sea breeze was warm and caressing. The smell of the salt air was invigorating. The presence of her small hand in mine sent a warm feeling up my arm that radiated through my entire body.

It was a magical moment. Both of us felt it. Neither of us spoke, afraid to break the spell on the nearly deserted beach. Finally when we had almost walked out of beach I felt a tug on my arm and turned to walk the other way. Millie had stopped and was looking out to sea. I noticed that she had a far-away look in her eye. We stood there for a couple of minutes and finally she turned to me, as if she had come to a decision.

She said, "Jim, before you say anything let me tell you that I have thought about this for the entire week."

At that point I was panic stricken. I knew her next words were going to be that she was leaving me. The bile rose into my throat and my stomach twisted itself into a knot. I had known it would come but I had hoped that if she was happy enough she would stay longer than a week. At that moment I was a defeated man. Her being with me had shown me how empty my life had become and I knew I couldn't face that life again.

My feelings must have shown through. She looked puzzled for a moment and then continued, "Jim, it's nothing bad. At least I hope you don't think it is bad. Jim, I love you. I have been happier this week with you than I can ever remember being. You are the type man that I had hoped Rob would turn out to be. You have given me space to get my life back together, without asking for anything in return. You allowed me room to think of what I wanted without any pressure or demands. I have thought long and hard about what I want and what I want is to be with you. Can I do that?"

I was crying. I am not an uncaring person but I had cried only four other times in my adult life that I could remember. I cried when my youngest daughter caught pneumonia and almost died in the hospital. I cried when my mother and later my sister died in a horrible car crash on the interstate. Finally, when my wife's life was ended by cancer I had cried again.