Chapter 5

Ending Number One:

When I lowered my tongue to his limp cock my husband brought both feet up and shoved me backward, pushing me off of the bed. "What's gotten into you Sarah? You're my wife, not some whorehouse slut."

I was huddled in a ball on the floor, not physically hurt, but feeling like I had been run over by a truck. His eyes met mine for a second and all I could see was pity.

"Come up here," he was holding his arms open for me to come back to the bed. I stared at the wall, trying to keep him from seeing my body tremble. I refused to look at him.

"You said we need to talk. What's on your mind?"

When I didn't respond he repeated the question.

"It's nothing important."

He picked up his clothes and left the room. It wasn't long until I heard the shower running. I sat there, curled up in a ball, naked and lonely.

If it was not for a woman at the bank I don't know what would have happened. We had nothing in common, she was old enough to be my mother and we had barely been on speaking terms. I was caught completely off guard when she stopped at my window to invite me to lunch.

Eva was a loan officer, that's all I knew about her. And as it turned out, she knew very little about me.

"I've been watching you," she began as soon as we were seated. She had chosen to take me to an out of the way restaurant. "You've got yourself in a real funk."

If it hadn't been for Eva's slight smile I would have gotten up and left. My sadness or my mood or whatever she had seen was none of her business. I came close to telling her she was not my mother and to keep her thoughts to herself but there was something in her knowing look that made me wait for her to continue.

"It's a man, isn't it?"

To this day I don't know why I let her invade my personal life. It must have been something about her easy manner, not really prying, simply nodding in a knowing way.

"You're half right," I said, letting myself smile at her perception.

"I thought so." And with a brush of her hand as if to close the subject she opened her menu and began to tell me which sandwiches she favored. As we ate we talked about the bank where we worked, comparing notes on various customers, laughing about the ones that could be a pain in the ass and giving our own descriptions of their antics.

On the way back to work Eva told me that if I ever needed to talk she was a good listener. When we parted I had told her nothing of my troubles and she hadn't revealed anything about herself. But somehow I was refreshed. Knowing I had someone I could go to if I needed to, eased the load from my shoulders. During the afternoon I found myself greeting the customers with renewed bounce in my voice and they returned my smiles.

Danny enrolled in a class at the local college where Randy was beginning his freshman year. Each Tuesday night when my husband left for his class I thought of calling Randy to let him know I was alone. But I couldn't do it. As far as he knew I had told Danny about our summer affair and was suffering the consequences of my husband's wrath.

One night Danny came home and wanted to know why the outside light was not burning. I couldn't tell him I had turned off the light as a signal for my lover to know I was alone. He still didn't know of my summer affair.

Sometimes I wondered if it would have been better if I had told him. I was miserable. How much worse could it be?

We had sex once a week, fast, no nonsense sex with Danny always on top. When we used the last rubber he bought more. My suggestion that we dispense with using them and try to have a child was met with disdain. "Slow down, we have plenty of time," he said.

There was to be a mid week freshman football game at the school. Danny called it a glorified scrimmage but he agreed to go with me, saying that he didn't know why I wanted to go. I knew nothing about football.

"Why are you cheering? The home team just turned the ball over," he admonished me. I couldn't tell him that I was cheering for Randy who was coming onto the field to play linebacker for the defense. God! He looked good in his uniform.

I invited Eva to lunch, my treat. We went to the same place. I had seen Randy with a girl his own age and felt I had to talk to someone. But nothing would come out. We talked about everything except what was on my mind. "You're fun to be with," I said on the way back to work.

At the end of the school year Danny announced he was going west to work in the woods. He left me with two instructions, "have the kitchen floor replaced and to water the tree."

I sat in the dark all that summer, hoping Randy would stop by. You've made your bed and you must lie in it, I told myself. I shaved my pussy and wore silk panties to work. Eva commented how spry I seemed.

In the fall I was promoted to head teller. Danny was ecstatic. We had sex twice that week and he talked of getting a second tree.

When Randy graduated from college I wanted to go but Danny said it would be foolish as we didn't know anyone in the class. I couldn't argue; I still hadn't told him.

We never did get the second tree. I never dreamed it would come to this.

Ending Number Two:

As soon as my tongue touched the tip of his cock my husband brought both feet up and shoved me away. "What's gotten into you Sarah? You're my wife, not some slut in a whorehouse."

"Is that what you think of me?" I said from the floor where I had landed. My feelings were hurt but I wasn't going to let it stop me from what I had to do.

"We have to talk Danny. But first I'm going to suck your cock and see if we can have decent sex for a change."

"Don't you mean indecent sex?" He sneered at me.

I smiled to myself. This was going to be easier that I had imagined. I was glad the letter came back. I sat on the bedroom floor, naked with my legs open and began, "can you see how short my pubic hair is? Remember the night you called and told me to watch the news on TV if I wanted to know about the fires? That was the night a man shaved my pussy."

Danny's jaw dropped and he glared at me, revulsion in his eyes.

"We had been having sex in your bed for some time but that night I was going to send him away without fucking him and he volunteered to go. When you called to tell me I had done a bad thing I begged him to stay. We've been having sex ever since, real honest to goodness, no hold bared, down and dirty sex."

He sat on the bed saying nothing. Why didn't he say something? Why didn't he ask me who it was? "Damn it Danny, say something!"

He gathered his clothes and left the room, silently. I couldn't take it. "Did I mention it was GOOD SEX, THE BEST?"

I heard the shower running. I sat on the floor feeling sorry for myself. Things had not gone according to plan and it was my fault. I tried to cry but no tears would come.

The shower stopped running but he didn't come back to the bedroom. Minutes later I heard the sound of a chain saw and knew he was cutting the tree. My world was crumbling and it was entirely my fault.

A few minutes later he appeared at the bedroom door. I looked up, expecting him to smile or sneer or swear. He did none of those things. "I'm going out for a few hours. Take anything you want but when I get back I expect you to be gone."

I wanted to call out for him, to plead for his forgiveness, to tell him I was sorry but my voice wouldn't cooperate. When I heard the car start I still didn't cry. I got up to pack my things.

Danny had taken our only car. Who would I call to pick me up? Randy? Patty? In the end I called my parents; I needed a place to stay.

When daddy arrived we tossed my luggage in the truck and the rest of my things in the back seat. I went back inside to take one last look. Daddy must have wondered why I wasn't crying. In fact, I was trying to hide a smile. I had placed my letter to Danny, the one stamped, "Returned for insufficient postage," on the kitchen floor, next to the worn spot.

I called the bank and took two days off. I needed some time to reflect. When I returned to work everything closed in on me. I had been dry eyed for days but suddenly I wanted to cry.

"Let's go to lunch today Sarah." It was Eva, a loan officer at the bank. How strange, I thought. I hardly knew her. She was old enough to be my mother and we had nothing in common. But she was pleasant enough and I needed to eat to keep my strength up.

We went to an out of the way place she knew. She must have seen that I didn't want to talk but she made an offer just the same. "You look like you could use a friend. If you ever want to talk about it I'm a good listener."

She didn't press me and I never did take her up on the offer although we went to lunch together from time to time. On one occasion I told her she was good company but things never got mushy between us.

Danny had the divorce papers delivered to the bank because he didn't know where I was living. I stopped by Eva's office to see if she would join me for lunch.

"You're in high spirits today, have you heard something?" Eva asked as soon as we were seated.

"No, I just feel good today," I lied.

"You will," she answered, making we wonder if she knew more than she let on. Two days later I was promoted to head teller.

I hadn't seen or had any contact with Randy. I wondered if he even remembered me. There was a freshman football game at the local school and I wanted to go. Patty flatly refused. She said she detested football but I knew the real reason. She was miffed that I hadn't wanted to talk to her about my impending divorce.

Dad agreed to take me even though he said the game was make-believe football. "It's just to keep the freshmen interested so they'll practice hard."

"I don't care. I want to see them play. Maybe one of these guys will be a star on the varsity team next year."

"Sarah, haven't I taught you anything about football. Why are you cheering? The home team just lost the ball."

"I'm cheering for number 54. I know him, sort of," I said. Randy was running onto the field.

"Oh, the linebacker," he said.

"Yeah, the linebacker," I repeated.

With a raise in pay and very little expense I was able to save money. I would need it for my lawyer. Danny had me dead to right. In retrospect, I suppose leaving the letter was a big mistake. It was a very explicit description of my adulterous actions. In the end he kept everything; I got nothing but the clothes I had removed from the house the night I left, correction, the night he kicked me out.

The holidays came and left. Although my divorce was not final I was getting used to being single, sleeping alone, making my own decisions and taking care of myself. Then it happened; I ran into Randy.

"Mrs. Hiller, how are you?" he said, obviously looking to see if I had Danny in tow.

I laughed. It was a nervous laugh because my insides were turning over. "Aren't you the formal one," I said, sneaking a peek at the young girl on his arm, sure that the rumble I felt in my stomach was gas.

He introduced us but I didn't even try to remember the little cheerleader's name. After a few uncomfortable seconds I made an excuse, something about already being late for an appointment, trying to remember which direction I was headed when we had seen each other. Was my hair in place?

God! He looked good. There had been four freshmen games and Randy had been a standout player. I had saved the press clippings. They predicted that he would be a starting defensive back on the varsity team the next year.

When we opened the bank the next morning a flood of customers rushed our windows like cattle at a feed trough. Randy was among them, moving up, forth in line, third in line as customers finished their business.

"You're next sir," I heard Betty say from her station two tellers away. Randy stepped aside to let the next customer through. "I need to see Mrs. Hiller. She has something for me," he explained to Betty.

"You've changed windows," he said when he stepped forward. It was the first time he had been in the bank since the summer.

"Yes," I managed to say, wondering why my mind had gone blank. The transaction took only two minutes to complete. He made small talk and I paid special attention to everything he said, looking into his eyes to agree with him, laughing when it seemed appropriate, being giddy and generally making a fool of myself. When I slid the deposit slip through the opening he held my left hand long enough to rub his thumb over my bare ring finger.

Seeing that there were only two customers in the waiting line I smiled and placed the "next window," sign in my window and locked my cash drawer.

Eva was on the telephone when I entered her office. I closed the door and slumped down in one of the visitor's chairs. My mouth was dry and I felt perspiration forming under my arms. I had no ambition to move, my energy drained. When she finished the call Eva turned to look my way.

"I just wrote my telephone number on the back of a deposit slip and now I'm sure he'll never see it," I said. She smiled at me, knowingly.

Living back at home had been a quiet and relaxing change. My parents had been sympathetic and understanding. But when Randy called, their manner changed. Why had I broken up with Danny? They said they had always liked him; he was a wonderful man and had been a caring husband.

My parents took a dim view of my dating Randy. They both disapproved but it was my mother who summed up their feelings. "You're still married. He's way too young for you. And, he drives a pick up truck!"

We tried to have sex in the truck but it didn't work out very well. Besides my concern about being caught, the gearshift was on the floor and I, in my excitement, kept kicking the damn thing. On our next date Randy took me to a motel room.

"Technically, I'm still married and we are committing adultery," I said, looking around the room. It wasn't perfect but it would be much more comfortable than the front seat of the truck.

"Technically, I don't care," he said as he began to kiss me.

Being together in bed was like old times. He was delighted when he discovered that I had shaved my pussy smooth. "That's nice, it saves me time," he said as he ran his tongue along my labia.

"Why? Were you planning to give me a shave?"

"Yeah, you were letting it get too long." He was looking my way, having inserted one finger into me.

"Oh, Randy honey."

"What?"

"Don't stop what you're doing. Let's not talk any more."

He smiled and returned his attention to servicing my needs. He licked me up and down and sideways. It was impossible to anticipate what he would do next. I tried to keep my legs open and my hips on the sheets but it was a lost cause. His tongue felt so good that I humped his mouth and held his head in place with my hands for fear he would stop licking me.

"Sarah."

"Huh?"

"Sarah, you're going to have to open your legs. I can't breathe when you close them like that."

"Huh?"

"Sarah, honey, you've got your legs tangled around my head. I can't hold them open and stick my fingers in your cunt at the same time."