Chapter 15: Payback Weekend

Weekends always felt like being sent away. Like a child dropped in a daycare centre, Mum and Dad both too busy to care. I could not but feel myself cast out - not by strangers, but by the two people I believed were closest to my heart. As Friday evening arrived, I often was overcome by a torrent of negative emotions; a sense of betrayal washed over me, intertwined with jealousy, and a feeling of abandonment. Intellectually, I grasped they needed alone time, but emotionally, I felt like the third wheel on a wagon. Left out and insignificant. I’m not good at being alone.

For two days, Koen would lavish her with attention, his focus solely on her, treating her like his precious princess. And my mistress, who was so good to me, loved it. I had a new room, a normal bedroom, and my solitary confinements in my ‘cell’ were a thing of the past. At least on weekends. Keeping myself entertained proved challenging. I went off shopping. I went to the cinema. A pity the Germans don’t use subtitles in their movies. It is a shame and quite regrettable that films in Germany rarely utilise subtitles. Hearing ‘möge die Macht mit dir sein’ is not quite the same as ‘may the force be with you.’ I liked to have dinner in a restaurant on my own, but I was fed up with men who, when I was eating alone, felt the need to join me at my table. So most Saturdays I went back to the hotel and watched Netflix in my room.

I couldn’t see the fascination my mistress had with DD/lg (Daddy Dom/little girl) play. I don’t know if I could remain serious, to see my mistress play with Barbies and wearing nappies. It’s kind of ridiculous, wouldn’t you agree? I mean ... what has that got to do with a B and a D and a S and an M?

I have never seen them play. It’s always behind closed doors. Well, the closed door of her bedroom, to be precise. I’m curious, though. With payback weekend just around the corner, I was eager to spring my surprise on them. I believe my mistress expected I would retaliate and respond to her harsh behaviour with similar severity, mirroring her tough treatment of me. My impression was that Koen harboured a silent wish for the retaliation to be confined to Jutta and me, allowing him to remain uninvolved. Tough luck for both of them.

“Next weekend is payback weekend. Jutta, you will obey Sylvia as if you would obey me.”

“Yes, master.”

Turning to me, Koen tried to look impassive. “Can I trust you to be the mistress of the love of my heart, slave Sylvia?”

“No.” I said.

His jaw dropped, and he stared at me, speechless. I let out a dry chuckle; his reaction was a hilarious mix of disbelief and nervous reflex. I saw them hesitate for a second, and I could tell he was questioning whether or not he had misheard me. He had asked a question expecting reassurance, but instead, he had been handed the answer he wasn’t ready for.

“Explain, slave!” He growled.

“To avoid upsetting Jutta, perhaps it’s best if we discuss this privately.” I tried.

Although Jutta stood up to leave the room, Koen was determined to prevent her from doing so and ignored her attempts to depart. “Jutta will stay here, no matter what happens. I am completely open and honest with her, and it is my wish that this will always remain the case.”

“I want to spend next weekend with you both as Jutta’s mama.”

“No.” Jutta and Koen said at the same time.

“Listen, I understand that this is Jutta’s and your thing. I do. I get that. This is alone time, a special moment of connection, just for you two. Am I right?”

Her eyes alert and watchful, Jutta offered a quick nod, her gaze sharp and unwavering.

“Do you know what is worse than not knowing what is going on behind your closed bedroom door?” I answered my rhetorical question: “It’s imagining what is going on there. Look, I’m not jealous of your time alone. Well, perhaps I am, but that shouldn’t be your problem. I am not asking to be there with you every weekend. Just once a year would be enough to feel me ... feel included.”

We patiently waited to hear what Koen’s decision would be. You might assume that we make all the decisions in our household, but that couldn’t be further from the reality of how things actually work. Although we come up with suggestions and recommendations, the ultimate decision-making authority rests solely with Koen.

“Weekend days are special for Jutta and myself. To strengthen our bond and create lasting memories, we need that special time alone, a time that is meaningful for the both of us. You understand this perfectly, I know. And yet it’s a fact that this excludes you from that part of our lives. Neither Jutta nor I wish for you to suffer harm from that. Playing the mommy-role, however, is completely out of the question. The only way I will allow you to be there is as a silent observer. A peeping Tom. If you still want to, you and Jutta can get the cage from the dungeon and put it in the middle of Jutta’s bedroom. I will gag you, so you cannot speak, but still can see and hear and even smell everything that we do. There’s enough room in the cage for you to turn around, so you will have a front-row seat in the house. You can be there, but I don’t want to hear a sound from you. If you don’t like that suggestion, feel free to offer another.”

“I accept, Master.” I said.

When we lugged the cage to the bedroom, I had the chance to talk to Mistress about this.

“Mistress, if you truly object, we can cancel it.” I opened.

“It is sweet of you to say so, slut. But my Master has spoken. We do not always have to agree with his judgement. That goes for you, but for me as well. It doesn’t matter what we think about it. We are slaves and all we have to do is follow his orders.”

“Following his orders makes me happy, Mistress.”

“It’s no different for me.” My mistress said.

On Saturday morning, I crawled into the cage. I guess this room once was the living room. I have never before seen a bedroom of such impressive size as this one in any home I’ve ever visited. Even with the cage in the middle, there was plenty of space to ... do whatever they did here. My Mistress attentively put some soft blankets on the bottom. I locked the cage and shoved the key a little out of my reach. I had sufficiently locked myself in. Part of the deal was that I would gag myself. I could remove the gag at any moment because my hands were not bound.

Koen and Jutta came into the room, completely ignoring me. He sat down in his comfy chair and Jutta crawled on his lap. She put a thumb in her mouth and started sucking on it. Koen caressed her hair lazily. Jutta was still in her PJs and not fully awake, it seemed.

“Little one?”

“Hmm, hmm”, she moaned around her thumb.

“It’s time to get something into your tummy, girl. You haven’t got your breakfast yet.”

Jutta took her thumb from her mouth and almost yelled: “Pancakes, daddy. I want pancakes.”

“We have had pancakes yesterday, pretty girl. We are having oatmeal for breakfast today, and it is much better for you than pancakes. Well done, Daddy. Thank you for all these good nutrients that you are giving me,” Koen said mockingly.

“I don’t like nutrinunts! Nutrinunts taste bad. I want something yummy. Bread with Nutella! That’s good for you, too.” I heard them continue their argument in the kitchen. Somehow I felt that Jutta had to eat oatmeal as well, was enough payback for the entire weekend. Every day she made oatmeal for me and I ate it without the use of my hands on the floor. I had become damn good at it, too. Now she got a cookie from her own dough, and she didn’t like it much. The screaming from the kitchen grew louder.

“I won’t eat it. I hate it!” Jutta screamed.

“Why don’t we eat it in your room, and not in the kitchen?”

“I can watch TV and eat.”

“Oh, no young lady. I already said, no TV.”