Chapter 9: Lisa and Tim

Tim is 22, he’s graduated from college where he met and married Lisa. They were well matched and were enjoying life as newlyweds. The only flaw in the picture was the frosty relationship between Ella and Lisa. Most unfortunately while she was dating and committed to Tim, Lisa overheard a conversation when her (soon to be) mother in law was complaining.

“Phil, that slutty girl isn’t right for Tim. She’s just throwing herself at him and he’s only thinking with his dick. You’ve seen that ‘tramp stamp’ tattoo on the top of her ass?”

“But why are you looking at her ass?”

“She’s our son’s girlfriend. You have your eyeballs glued to her ass just as much as Tim does. Maybe more.”

“Oh, now I get it. You’re jealous!”

“Sure, I am! Lisa is built like a, what do they call it?, a brick shit house. But that’s ALL she offers. Her degree is in LITERATURE, for Christ’s sake. She’s going to drag him down financially.”

Two weeks after that overheard conversation, Lisa and Tim were married. Through the ceremony and reception Ella was careful to be polite and behave appropriately. But in unguarded moments Lisa’s fury and Ella’s contempt were detectable. Tension and discomfort roiled beneath the surface, as the photographer posed the members of the wedding party in various combinations.

All of this disharmony was forgotten as soon as the honeymoon began. Ella accurately described her son’s enthusiasm. Even though it was probably their 40th time making love, their first officially married lovemaking began with Lisa’s fancy lace panties and Tim’ dress shirt being torn open in desperate haste.

Today was six months after the honeymoon. In their car, Lisa was obviously unhappy, even cranky. Swearing, she maneuvered around a dawdling driver in the freeway’s left lane and continued complaining to her husband in the passenger seat.

“I still think we should have canceled this. Or sent you alone. I don’t really need to be visiting your family again so soon.”

“Soon? Lisa, the last visit was six weeks ago.”

“Exactly, we go there all the time. Afterwards, I want to drink a pint of vodka and smoke weed for the next three days.”

“But you like my dad. And my brother. They are always saying how great you are. I think Dan has a little crush on you. And I know Dad thinks you’re hot stuff. I’ve seen, many times, when he’s checking you out.”

“You know Dan and Phil aren’t the problem, Tim, it’s Ella who has her knives out for me. Look, Dan is your junior version. He’s got all of your physicality with that handsome face and muscular build. His personality is all wild and enthusiastic. He’s like an unfiltered version of you without the guardrails.

“And I can see by the crowding in his pants that you share other, uh, attributes. Oh, Tim, women ogle too, get over it. And your dad is great. Looking at him I can see what kind of man you’re going to be when you’re his age. Phil is always friendly to me and warm and welcoming.”

“Nothing to say about Mom, then?”

“You know the old saying, ‘If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.’ Tim, the whole world is full of mothers in law who think badly of their sons’ partners. Ella is no different. She thinks I’m a slut and I have nothing to offer you but my body.”

“Oh, please, she doesn’t think that.”

“Honey, I overheard those exact words out of her mouth. I’m not going to argue about it, just take it as true.”