Chapter 12: Ask the Parents

Penny was about to clear away the dishes from dinner on a Tuesday evening. But then she stopped.

“I want to ask you something, Mom and Dad; it’s kind of delicate. OK?”

“We’re here for you, always. Ask away.”

“So, Dan and Dora were here this afternoon after school, and he has sex with her, everything seems normal. So then it’s my turn, and I’m blowing him, and he doesn’t get hard. I’m really frustrated, but for the first time, I’m not having any success. Suck-sess, a bad pun, sorry.

“I don’t think it’s my fault. My cock-sucking skills are up to the task, I think.”

“Really? How would you know?” asked Lee, Penny’s father.

“I guess I can unzip you and prove myself. What do you say, Dad?”

“Stop!” shouted Penny’s mother. “What’s behind his zipper is MY property. No trespassing!”

Lee spread his hands, palms down, to defuse the situation.

“Kerry is right. Besides, there’s no need. Fellatio is not complicated, it can be done well even when people are stinking drunk.”

“Really, Dad? Uh, how do you know?”

Her mother interrupted, “Never mind that! You were asking about Dan. You must have some idea that penises can have trouble being ready for duty. You’ve seen ten thousand advertisements for ED drugs, I’m sure.”

Her father couldn’t leave it there, however.

“Except, Kerry, Dan is 16, right? When you’re 16, you get hard-ons all the time. Almost anything can be a trigger. There are obvious things, like following a cute girl up a flight of stairs or daydreaming. But sometimes there’s nothing specific. It’s like, for no reason, you’re suddenly out of room in your pants.

“The only reasons for Dan to be limp between your lips at his age are either that he’s drugged or drunk out of his mind, or, he’s having a lot of sex that you don’t know about.”

“Mom?”

“As we all know, Penny, I was a virgin on our wedding night. But I had this friend, her name was also Kerry. Just a coincidence, right, Lee? Why are you smiling? It’s true! Anyway, my friend had lots of sex in high school, and her boyfriends were perpetually pokey, just as Lee says.

“Since you would know, I’m sure, that Dan wasn’t really drunk, Lee’s right. He’s getting it from someone you don’t know about. Figuring out who it is, that’s on you. We shouldn’t help you. One thing, though, if he exposes you to a disease, Lee and I will remove his testicles with that tool I use for pruning the rosebushes.

“You see Dan every day, just about, like in the school cafeteria. We’ll give him a week to come clean (so to speak) with you. Afterwards, if he won’t confess, the two of us will tie him up in the basement and, uh, persuade him.”

“But, Mom, what if he’s kinky and enjoys what you do to him?”

“Penny, trust me. I’m not going to spank him. It will be excruciating, but I won’t leave any marks on his body that could get us into trouble. If your impression of him is that he is eager to be restrained, then I’ll give you a more explicit description of our interrogation techniques. Sharing those details should be convincing.”