Paige Hawthorne: Blog

Admittedly, SOL readers are not overly celebrated for their intelligence, and certainly not for their discretion. When I decided to write a story — “The Real Housewives of Sausalito, Mississippi” — where Sex was not only the Main Character, it was the Plot, I anticipated a negative reaction.

And, understandably so. There is little redeeming social value; many of the sexually-active players are selfish and greedy; what storyline there is, is mainly a backdrop, an excuse, for more indecent behavior.

Surprisingly, “Housewives” has a legion of fans who — keep those cards and letters coming in — are clamoring for more. More sex, more depravity, more … more everything.

One can only hope that the readers here are not a representative cross-section of the world’s population. Surely there are some good, decent, moral folks out there. Surely.

Paige

I had five editors, most of whom could read and comprehend at at least a fourth-grade level.

One died — Requiescat In Pace, pcbondsman.

Of the remaining four editors, three of them are on sick leave with various ailments, some of which may be true. Let’s see … four minus three comes to … about one.

Now this sterling survivor is, it is rumored, able to read without his lips becoming too tired. And, there is a certain snarky literary perception to his criticisms.

The problem? He is somewhat under-enthusiastic about my current story — ‘The Real Housewives of Sausalito, Mississippi’. Okay, he detests it.

Too much sex. Pointless, no justification, sex. Fair-warned is … um, fair-warned

Paige

The wicked guy in charge here has mandated that all stories must now be open for voting. I had hoped to avoid ignominy this time around with “The Real Housewives of Sausalito, Mississippi”. Foiled!

Of course it’s Glory Times for you one-bombers out there. Not that I pay the slightest attention to reader scores.

Gnashing teeth,

Paige

Or is it well? Lee Child, creator of the Jack Reacher series, says that it all comes down to the character. That readers don’t really care too much about the plot. But a memorable protagonist … zowie!

Michael Connelly — the guy who dreamed up Hieronymus Bosch and the Lincoln Lawyer, Mickey Haller, — has a similar take, “It is all about character and velocity.” He posits that a book is like a car with the passenger door open and the engine revving. Do you want to hop in for a ride?

Then it’s up to the driver to tell you a story. Sharp turns, frantic braking, whiplash acceleration. Whew.

Paige

Despite anguished pleas, vicious threats, and random pledges of suicide, I posted yet another story: “The Real Housewives of Sausalito, Mississippi”. Additional morbid news — it’s my longest yet, over 300,000 words.

Apologies. Somehow “Housewives" got away from me. I was forced to downgrade it from ‘Some Sex’ to ‘Much Sex’. Why? Well, every family has secrets. But the women in Sausalito, Mississippi are subjected to unusual temptations, crushing financial pressures, expertly applied manipulation. Note bene: any and all sexual activities are conducted by, and among, citizens who have celebrated at least 14 birthdays.

I revisited some characters from an earlier story — “The Second Sausalito” — but “Housewives” is a stand-alone tale. I’ll publish one chapter of this 300,000-word monstrosity every Friday. Except when I don’t.

Paige