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It's not that I haven't been writing. When I get the chance, I've been throwing down a few sentences. And I've written multiple versions for this upcoming chapter for Rat and Dragon. But, I have nothing coherent or finished for any of the stories right now. Been up and down with health, and when I'm up, I'm dealing with kids and dogs, and when I'm down, I try to write on my phone while lying in bed but I usually just get a few sentences that way.
One fun thing is on rare occasions, I actually play video games. It's not often, since gaming takes what free time I have to put towards writing, but my games of choice are city/ world builders. No surprise there, right? My favorite game so far is Valheim. If you haven't heard of it, it's like a Viking themed Minecraft, though not nearly so blocky. So, I can build houses, villages, even the castle of the Seekers, which I recently started. I built an entire Aroogar village along a river (much like the Radkials from "In the Enemy's Territory" available on my other page), and I built Higzashi's house as I describe it in this new version I've been working on. My goal is the entire Ha'trin village, but that's been a lot of work for the short bursts of time I spend on it, which I can't say with a straight face because this castle is so much bigger than I was anticipating. XD Ah well, it'll be awesome to see when it's done, and the whole process of watching what's in my head come to "life" is so fun and fulfilling.
Anyhow, I'm sorry to skip yet another week. School is soon, just another couple weeks, and then I can get back to regular writing schedule... when my guts aren't rebelling harder than the British when their favorite soccer team loses.
Yes, that's right. Kupper's back at long last! He started out just... standing there. In the doorway of... well, wherever they go when they aren't talking to me. That lasted a couple days. Then, he gave me a migraine with his voice and I think he might try to finish the story. I still have a migraine. This is pretty normal for when he starts talking and often lays me out for a day or two. So, I'm gonna let him talk to me while Roan and Shidu figure out who's winning this scene contest.
Other authors, you ever have two characters duke it out for dominance over a scene? One character wants it to go one way, the other character has no intentions of submitting to that? That's happening to me now. Shidu reeeeally wants to insert herself into this scene and Roan reeeeeeeeeeeally does not want her involved. I've even spent the time to write out entire alternative directions for this to go (something I hate doing because I feel like it wastes time) and every single time, Shidu steers the conversation towards things about Roan I don't want Cylthan (or you, the readers) to know about him just yet. I know we started this adventure with Roan, and honestly, we're gonna end this adventure with him after he learns everything he forgot. As much as I dislike the concept, this is technically one of those "fated mates" tropes. There's a grim and bittersweet reason Roan keeps feeling the urge to possess Cylthan, and why he endured the bullshit Shidu keeps putting him through. So, she wants to stick her nose into this whole thing, and Roan is quite upset about it. Shidu will be back when we least expect it to save Cylthan from herself. That's when all these things about Roan are supposed to surface. For now, I'm giving them the chance to work that out for a minute.
Also, I'll be moving those AI images to the first chapter (how many versions is that now?) since I'm sure all my usual readers have seen them, and fixing a couple chapters with some rewording and a few spelling errors. Also a disclaimer will be going in since not all my readers look at my blogs and I've been asked multiple times if the story is completed. No, no it is not. It is a living, breathing rough draft. It changes, it evolves, some things aren't going to match, and quite frankly, I may decide on one thing, then decide on another (like shaman's are nature wizards instead of anomalies like I had at first which is why Roan said only priests can heal). Until the last page, I won't know exactly how this goes. I have all the major points, but all these details are growing and changing, so bear with me and please feel free to point out things that may not match up or are confusing as we go forward. I may choose to change or add entire scenes based on suggestions (my friend who was upset about chapter 11 has been making a lot of good points about changing it so there's a chance it may look different in publication).
On to Dragon Tamers, I know Roscrow seems really cold right now. He's got a lot on the line, and his whole life's about to be turned upside down because of a woman he's not supposed to so much as flirt with even though he finds her hot aF. And then there's Dane, breathing down his neck the whole time. So, his thing right now is he can't take it out on her, so he's gonna find ways to take it out on Jasper... until Jasper's had enough. That's when the switch will happen from Roscrow being an absolute dick to being a total bro. It might be a bit jarring when it happens, but Roscrow will explain his reasonings. This will all happen quite soon after their return to the mountain. Like, within days, after the ban hammer lands and he figures out how to balance his life again. Roscrow also learns a secret Jasper was keeping from S're all these years... and then proves why he's the best friend you'd ever actually want. "I own you, you know." "Fuck, Roscrow, don't do this to me." "See this transaction? I bought you. This means I get to command you to tell her. Now, go before I carry you, because I think she'd have a lot of questions if I came in with you in my arms like a bride."
So, if you're put off by his frigid behavior now, just know that he does warm up a lot. He's not like Roan. He sees himself like a god of entertainment, not an authority. Roscrow's interested in more abstracts like wealth and status while Roan is in the dirt killing vampires and protecting people by... letting people die... yeah, he'll explain that part later. Roan likes to intimidate while Roscrow actually hates it. He was born horrifying to look at (the Q'Hu don't make cute babies) and he sees cowards everywhere he goes, while Roan has to force people to believe he is that same level of scary with actions. Thus, when we come down to it, Roscrow's really a "gentle" giant... even though he is perfectly capable of crushing the life out of a man with his bare hands and enjoying it, but that man will have deserved it, unlike Roan doing it and enjoying it just to maintain an image for the Seekers. Both men will have tender moments, but Roscrow is way less defensive about his softer side because he was raised human and wants to be seen as human, while Roan gets upset when called on it because softness can result in him being eaten alive among the other Seekers.
Just when I thought for a second I should take a break from these elves because I'm getting sick of them being difficult and not cooperating with me while other stories cry for attention, all three men (Roan is an honorary elf) decided to talk at once. I guess the threat of cutting them off entirely reminded all of them that these are my fingers and I get to tell them what to do... most of the time. Sometimes... occasionally... once in a while... Yeah, I'mma get back to writing since Kupper's staring me down right now with that impatient foot tapping....
In an earlier blog, I said how I had finished the chapter of Dragon Tamers but ended up not liking it so I picked it to pieces and... lots of new details emerged. A sort of important conversation got removed entirely. At least 300 words, pushed over to the next chapter. That's fine. There's 3 days for them to travel, and they aren't friends skipping along just chatting about the weather. It's not something I can skip easily. They have to get to know each other. The chase may have been long, but it gives them time to learn about each other before they have to face the upcoming set of characters.
But, yay! I got it done! There had to be... compromise. Namely... surrender. No Higzashi. Roscrow doesn't go away like he often will for the furries, he just won't stop cursing. He gets so loud with mad and salt, it starts drowning everyone else out. Even Dane notices. So, I said fine. Fine. He wins this time. They can all wait. No Higzashi. And just like that, Roscrow remembered we were in the middle of something. Specifically, him being a bit of a dick. He has plenty of reason to be upset, and let me just say, never once underestimate this man's ego. It's as big as his mountain and he will point it out any chance he gets. Most of the time, it's for good reason. Rest of the time, he's just full of himself. ("I am a god." No, stop it! We've discussed this. "I may have misplaced the memory."..... You could just say you forgot. "Am I a peasant?" No, but you're a dick.)
So, this weekend, no Roan and Cylthan. It will instead be the second part to that last chapter of "The Dragon Tamers." It ended up being a little longer, but that's fine. I'm just glad Roscrow is cooperating again. I might actually be able to get another chapter out of him.
I really do hate AI. It's not here to make our lives easier. It's causing our very destruction as we watch (creating a deeper and deeper rift between countries and peoples, putting some deeper into poverty and others richer beyond measure). But, there's literally nothing any singular one of us can do anything about it (I hope that we have a Dune style rebellion and add as a testament from the divine "Thou shalt not make a machine in the likeness of a human mind") so, here I am with that infamous "almost, not quite, sorta, close enough" that AI is so good at. The pictures added in this chapter are in the likeness of Roan and Cylthan, but not exact. You folks still have plenty of space for your own mental images. No matter what I tried, the AI would not make the ears go UP! Why are elves drawn with ears that stick straight out? I've never liked that style, but it's everywhere, and it's what the AI is trained on. So, her ears are a lot longer than shown and go straight up like human ears. As for Roan's picture, well, I'm just glad the scar is on the correct side. It doesn't look the same, and his silver eye is supposed to be SILVER, like there's mercury that swirls around, and a white pinpoint that isn't always so visible, but it's definitely his pupil in the artifact. Oh well, "close enough." Should it ever, by some luck, become a movie, it would be animated in this style. I added the images in this chapter so that current readers don't have to go back, and so I didn't have to repost the first chapter again. Enjoy!
Now, as for the Draago... In the previous draft over on Woofajuana, I had the "Drago" (yeah, I just added an extra 'a' so it's pronounced correctly) listed as a "dragon-kin" who were born of dragons breeding with elves. And before that, it wasn't a species, it was just Shidu. Well, I've had a few years between versions, and the Draago are definitely dragons. They are just dragons who evolved to look like people for the sole purpose of eating more people. If they look like an elf, the elves trust them more and then they become dinner. I saw something similar in Frieren (an anime about a 1,000 year old elf living among humans and fighting demons, check it out!) where the demons only learned to speak to trick humans into trusting them. It's fun how we all seem to pull from a similar creative Source. But, in this version, the Draago are full-blooded dragons that just look like people. Some like elves, some like humans, but they all have lots of dragon qualities. I have a full species sheet for them that I'm working on, and I will post for you guys next time. I don't feel like describing everything about them in story because there is a lot that is actually kind of important to know. In this chapter is a copper Draago, which look like giant humans (with wings, tails, scales, horns...), and have spent so long pretending to be humans that they've basically become humans and rarely eat people anymore. Since we'll be getting to know a few more later, I'll make sure to have that species sheet. Mostly, I just don't want to spend a paragraph to describe how they look while I'm in the middle of the story. Totally knocks me out of the moment and it's a jolt I don't like so I just make a separate sheet for it.
With summer break, out of town trips, more funerals, and my health, finding time to write has been difficult. I'm so sorry about Dragon Tamers. Trust me, I want to finish what I picked apart, but Roscrow has been so pissed about Higzashi trying to come into my head that I can't get him to talk straight. He hates Higzashi. Soooo much. Listen, saipaki, the dude can't hear you. I'm hearing you and it's annoying me! What does he hate so much? Well, because Higzashi is not a good guy. He never was, but I made him way too sweet in the original rough draft. It actually upset people when Shime left him, which was not supposed to happen. Readers were supposed to be happy about it. Higzashi's only desire is to breed an army to take over the Ha'trin, and he does that by doing to other young women as what he does with Shime: pretend to love her. He's the soft kind of abusive, not the hard kind that she came from, which is why she falls for him at all. And Roscrow can't stand that. Tarnrax is a bad guy with his hard abuse. There's nothing redeeming about him. But Higzashi? He's cunning and ancient, and he uses that to manipulate and twist up his prey while being the leader of a group that generally stands against exactly what he's doing. That's what pisses Roscrow off. When a bad man acts good and gets away with it. A predator who so perfectly hides among its own prey. And, oh boy! Roscrow's got lots of elvish insults I've never heard before.
So, while I rage against the machine, he's raging against... other fictional characters. Yeah, that's right, my fictional characters are pissed off at fictional characters and only the one of them even knows any of the rest of them exist. I'm clearly crazy. That's okay, at least I have fun. I can't remember what being bored is like. It's been decades. But, I absolutely know how frustrating it can be. I am reading a Korean manga and they took a hiatus, and I was devastated. My Friday was ruined. What do I even do with myself without anime smut of an estranged couple fucking younger people? T.T And all I could think was "this is how my readers must feel." So trust when I say, I'm not happy to leave it there. Not about Roscrow, and not about Kupper. Both of you big, bad, black-eyed jerks! Get back to work! Ugh! It'll happen. If nothing else, it'll happen in August. Schooooooooooool. The bane of children, the savior of parents.
Anyhow, here is the next chapter of "The Rat and the Dragon." I slid into home base at the last second with this chapter. Finished today, so it may not be properly edited. Rough draft things! Kind of like how Cylthan is supposed to use magic with intention instead of spoken spells, which I will fix later. Just know that that particular conversation about her magic is coming up in a few chapters, so it will clash with the start.
So many rats. The rats must've brought the plague with them. *lies in bed dying* Ugh. Speaking of rats, I wanted to educate you readers on a rat behavior that isn't too commonly known outside of those who like rats. "Bruxing" is a behavior where they grind their teeth rapidly, making a sound and grinding down their incisors. The action also causes their eyes to bulge in and out of the sockets rapidly as their jaw muscles are under their eyes. It is a behavior similar to a cat's purr- a sound of joy under normal circumstances, unless the rat is in distress, then they will do it to soothe themselves. It happens often enough going forward that I thought those of you who read my blogs would like to know. If it is interesting to you, look it up on youtube. Rats are adorable. Even the wild ones. Doesn't mean I'd like one in my house, but like wild snakes, they are very cute at a safe distance. When I say I'm an animal lover, I don't just mean a few select, I mean down to the creepiest and crawliest. I will even go out of my way to avoid stepping on a cockroach if it's not in my house. Roan may have gotten that animal lover thing from me. He does have a thing for dragons, which are technically animals... *whispers* Nobody tell that to Shidu.... cuz that bitch breathes fire... and she eats people. Literally.
*
Still staring at his chest, she let out a little sigh. “Maybe… just for a minute.”
Settling back down with her, he continued to caress her shoulder. “I’ll lay here as long as you want.”
*
Is this a sweet moment between Roan and Cylthan? Or a quiet before his rage? This chapter might have gone a different way but since a reader had expressed an interest in it, I let the explanation of Ssolaar's death be a readers lesson in some of the magic classes in this world. Battle mages are quite common among the Seekers. Most magic users are paired with a physical fighter of some type that works well with their magic and fighting style, but they don't always have to get along. We also learn quite a bit about Roan and Silver Eye and the depth of their connection. And I wonder who was in that cloak?
As for me, on a personal note- guys, I am burnt the fuck out. I'm not blocked, I'm not sick of writing, I'm just burnt out. I struggled to get this chapter done over the whole two weeks. Not because it was hard or that it is long (even longer than the last one by a few words, and we haven't even left Roan's room yet for the first day), but just sitting and writing what I'm working on. I'm sick of these werewolves. I'm sick of these elves. So many other stories are screaming in my head and I'm exhausted with pushing them away. My kids are home for summer break, and my guts are rebelling harder than the French when you mess with their retirement. I know discipline writes novels, but burn out is a bitch. I'll probably keep writing to Rat and Dragon whenever it's there, but I think I'll see where these random thoughts will take me for a little while... you know, when I have a moment.
As for Dragon Tamer, I was unhappy with how dry some of the responses sounded and started messing with it and now I might have fucked with it a little too much.... I'll work on finishing that before I just leave the story to sit for a bit. Maybe if I get some of these other story ideas out, it will clear up the signal and invigorate me back into these tales. I can't get Kupper back for nothing and I'm sick of trying when all I get is Satrina and Dane (from "A Journey Across the Surface" over on my other pen name) responding. I'm sick of editing werewolves when the sequel is howling in my ear. Shime may have another chapter or two in her before she goes quiet again.
So, I'll drop Chapter 18 this Saturday. I hope you enjoy! Feel free to make comments. You never know what may influence the next chapter! Just... nobody make Shidu mad... Roan, you might an idiot....
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