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I've never had any chapter so deeply and thoroughly scrutinized by my friends. Good god, this was a process, but it's done. Chapters 9, 10, and 11 for "The Rat and the Dragon" have been replaced.
The only real change to chapter 9 is the mentions of food and a few minor fixes to adjust things. It's really chapters 10 and 11 that have the greatest changes. The vibe is totally different. My biggest hold ups for the chapter (besides time) were what to do about protection and not just fucking her on the cold hard ground. Well, I figured those out together with one spell and things just fell together from there. Yes, I did use a lot of the parts from the previous, rearranged some of the sentences, replaced some words.
Every sentence of this was followed and commented on. I'd get a text at 10 pm "Why does he still say that?" What? "That pussy thing. It's creepy." OMG. He's dirty talking. Stop it! Leave it alone. "Where's the afterglow?" WHAT!? Why is that necessary? Rape ain't comfy! "It's a sex fantasy. Cmon." Uuugh, okay, there's a sentence about it now. Everybody happy? "One thumbs up, because the other one is busy." Alright! I win! And just wash your hands! XD
I have fun friends. Some of them even make it into my stories. Looking at you, Nathilin....
So, I hope those of you who enjoy the story will consider going back and reading over it. My friends are by no means editors, it was all simple feedback. Like a non-native English speaking friend of mine pointed out a couple spots where he didn't understand the subtlety of English, so I bulked up the description. A lot of the "slimy" verbiage was taken out as per pointers given. Some things I kept because it's my story, damn it! At least, that's what I thought....
I hope you guys like the changes!
Oh, I just wanted to add, in case there's any of you who like to hear the songs that went along with various scenes. When I actually had the time to sit and listen to music while writing, the two songs I played the most to stick with the vibe were "Revelations 22:20" by Puscifer and "Way Down We Go" by Kaleo. Really good songs if you've never heard them.
Why hello again! It has been sooo long, and guys, I genuinely apologize for that. None of this was planned, of course. How can you plan for nearly dying from a tooth infection and your dog getting cancer? Life has been a rough and wild ride that's taken my drive to write. The story news is after my life news.
I'll tell you guys a bit about it, for those who care or simply enjoy getting nosy in other's lives. I've been dealing with a long term tooth infection. A couple of years, in fact, maybe even longer. It had gotten so bad that when I finally went to the dentist, he looked at the xrays, came over to me with some wide eyes and said "So I don't want to alarm you, but these are the kinds of infections that kills people, and I just want to say thank you for coming in." My resting heart rate was at 80bpm. I was having random and extreme panic attacks out of nowhere, my heart would race and the world was suddenly crashing. I slept 30 minutes at a time. Shit was BAD! My watch was like "Are you okay?" No, Garmin, no I was not okay. I got through three antibiotic pills and by the time I was taking the fourth, I literally felt like a different human being. Like I was a snake that had shed skin. It was wild. I had forgotten what normal felt like. I was given only a weekend to take the pills because he said he wasn't waiting on that tooth, and boy he did not. Got right in there and yanked that bastard out in three pieces because it shattered. That... was... traumatic. I'm never doing an awake extraction again. Unfortunately, the same tooth on the other side is dead, too. It hasn't given me issues, so I'm getting some other teeth dealt with first while they can still be saved, but damn, that was a whole ordeal... that my husband is now experiencing. He's on antibiotics and they have him set for emergency extraction after the weekend. Why are teeth not included in health insurance when your teeth can fucking KILL you? Thanks, Corporate America.
I bet you're way more interested in my dog. Well, my standard poodle is a dipshit... No seriously, that boy be cray-cray. You don't understand. Imagine the most hyper, ball obsessed dog you've ever known, and times it by 10 and you probably still haven't gotten there. So I noticed one of his back claws growing weird. It's been that way for a few years now. He has broken his claws, his toes, ripped out his dewclaw to the point it grows in spirals but now I don't think it's going to grow back after the 8th time.... So I figured this was normal. Until it wasn't. It started growing really fast. He was pulling his foot up so I went to cut it, and he screamed. He NEVER screams. That dog doesn't express pain, and you'll understand that as I go on. So that scared me half to death. I'm looking at the claw and pus is oozing through the middle. It's a dead, hollow claw. The first vet I go to takes out the claw (to the tune of a used car) and tells me the toe was filled with pus. He comes home, and everything is going fine. He doesn't mess with it, he's acting fine... until I take the corgi for a walk and not him. Normally, he sits at the door and howls until we get back. You can hear his weird ass ugly howl a block away. It's so weird. It's warbly and growly and broken and just weird. But this time... he decided to race through the house and leave blood and pus EVERYWHERE! Up and down the stairs, out the yard, the living room, the den, the balcony. Like someone had been murdered. It was crazy. So, he went back to the vet and they wanted to charge me a bigger, nicer used car's worth to remove the toe. It had turned black and grown 4 times the normal size. While I saved literally $2,000 by shopping around, I did have to wait a while for them to have the time, during which he was stuck in a cage without sedation. That was a deep level of hell for us both. I hate doing that. I've never caged any of my dogs unless it was absolutely necessary... and it is. I just hate feeling like a bad guy.
Anyways, the toe was removed and that vet told me she opened it up and found what she strongly believed to be a cancerous mass. At least it was just his toe! Well, instructions are two weeks strict cage rest... only my house is two story and the living space is upstairs. So we started like that so that he could be around the family and not lonely. But that only riled him up despite THREE sedatives. Also, while taking him down the stairs to my back yard (which is quite literally only the size of big bedroom), he decided in his loopy self to go trotting away and I told him "Hey, no!" So he slid to a stop on the tile and... murder scene! Blood fucking everywhere. Soaked a towel! He doesn't even notice, just trotting along. So, back to get restitched, and TWO MORE sedatives. They have thrown every kind at him. Never a pill in his 7 years and now I have a pharmacy. And he is STILL prancing and dancing and trotting around as soon as he gets out of the cage. If he's in the middle of them all, he will plod and he's almost calm. I freaking love it. It takes 4 different sedatives to make him the kind of dog I wanted. I am beginning to think that maybe he is half giraffe, since they only sleep 20 minutes a day. His neck is certainly long enough. In order to keep the cone up, I have TWO inflatable collars and a scarf, and his nose still makes it around the cone... and that's as deep as they go. Did the cone makers forget Borzoi are a thing? This boy's nose is so long, the wolfhounds be ashamed.
We are currently ending the first week of the strict cage rest (after the restitch, which restarted the clock). This whole ordeal, from the time I noticed the weird claw to here, has been almost 2 months. I can't believe I'm saying this but... I miss throwing The Ball. Life is Ball; Ball is life. Have you heard of our Lord and Savior, Ball? The corgi will chase the ball... and veer off to sniff something. Her game is the roughest tug o war you can make for her. Make her spin, shake, leave the ground, just as aggressive as possible, she will hold that bucking bronco like the cowgirl dog she wants to be. Meanwhile, doofus doesn't understand the tug game. You don't hold the thing, otherwise mom can't throw the thing! Must fetch. Always fetch. I can't throw anything or he will return it to me.
Among many other little things, that's been most of my time these last few months. On top of it all, we're in the process of buying a house! Very exciting! Our offer was accepted on the house we want the most. So there's been that (good) stress on top of everything else.
Okay, for some story news. I have heard the laments of my friends and fans. I got it, I hear you. Chapter 11 in The Rat and the Dragon does not fit. Roan is "too rapey." The scene is "too creepy." He "goes too quickly into caring for Cylthan after messing with her. It doesn't fit." Very well. I'm taking some pointers from the previous version (still available on my other account, Woofajuana) and I'm bringing the "romance" back. He still "forces" her, but it's harder to tell. I spent months and months deciding where I would even start to change the scene. Where to go back, how far? Then the answer hit me. When she eats. So I went back to when Cylthan eats and removed that. It sets up the scene for Roan to come out of the cage to eat with her, taunting her as a bad warden. Then he offers to heal the split in her lip and kisses her. The rest, I'll let you guys read when I'm done.
But wait, Cly! Some of the readers actually like that scene! I've had a few people support it, say that life is weird and crazy and things aren't always so straight forward. Yes, you folks are correct. My point of that scene was to make it feel scarier than it actually was. It was coming from Cylthan's point of view in my head, so of course it felt so scary and rapey. But, that doesn't seem to come through so well. Whether that is a fault of my own for not being able to write that well or a majority of readers just not picking up on it, I just don't know, so the scene is changing for the larger audience. For you folks who really like that scene, I am not deleting it. It will simply move. I'm going to post all of chapters 9, 10, and 11 over to Woofajuana as a stand alone stroke story. It will live there for those of you who enjoy it. Don't worry, I will post when I've made the changes.
I will also be posting chapter 25 of Rat and Dragon tomorrow. I haven't been writing much, even Roscrow is like "I'mma give you a minute," so don't expect anything else for a little while. I just used up most of my free time today to write all this to update you guys. Time to let the poodle out again, and another round of sedatives.
You all ready for the New Year? I am. Get this Year over with! At least, the week between Christmas and New Years is the time I wish wasn't.
Here is my PSA: DO NOT GET PETS FOR PEOPLE WITHOUT TELLING THEM! FUCKING STOP IT! ESPECIALLY CHILDREN WITHOUT TELLING THEIR PARENTS! I got stuck with a SULCATA tortoise because my grandmother in law was scammed by a local pet store who told her they were easy to care for and sold her all the wrong equipment at twice the price. My son is 8 with ADHD and still sucks his thumb when he thinks I'm not looking, and she thought a salmonella factory was a good fit. I'm outraged at her, but way more at the unethical store that eagerly sold an animal that can live for a century to a woman that has lived almost a century, and then said they would only take it back as a surrender... which they would then resell. So, I've been trying to find it a new home on craigslist (I do not respond to any messages that don't sound halfway intelligent, and I found a couple people who talk like they did any research, so hopefully I'll start the new year without it) while being made out to be the bad guy because I am unwilling to care for a tortoise that will get bigger than my dogs. My son has zero interest in it. He wanted a bearded dragon or a leopard gecko, but grandma can't fathom a lizard as a pet....
This same thing happened with my poodle. He was a gift to me, and his personality is so totally counter to mine and this family that it's taken us 6 years now to finally like him because he's chilled out. Still gonna break his neck chasing the ball (ball is life, life is ball. Have you heard of our lord and savior, Ball? All praise Ball), but at least he can stand still long enough to be petted now. The only time I could ever touch him was grooming time. The pet I got to chose was my corgi and she fit in like a missing puzzle piece literally from the instant she was placed in my arms. She looked at me like she had known me all her tiny life, never even looking back at her other owner. She walked in our house like she owned it, put my poodle in his place on day one at 7 weeks old, and never once cried for her litter, like she knew she was meant to be with us. As for the cat, well, there's something to be said about the kitty distribution system... it just knows, and it knows better than people.
So let the system chose our cats, and let people choose their own pets. If grandma had bought a tank and light (which btw, the light they sold her for $100+ broke in a week but because I already argued with the owner over their "buyers remorse" policy (I didn't buy it thus is not buyers remorse) they wouldn't refund the equipment either) and offered to take my son to pick his own pet, I would have been fine with that. Just don't buy pets for people. These are living creatures with personalities that have to match their families. Not all animals will just develop personalities based on their family. My poodle is proof. It was very difficult to go through the chaos of an unmatched personality, I won't be forced into an animal that will outlive my kids that they absolutely do not care about and will be entirely my burden. I used to have 5 snakes (rosey boa, piebald ball pythons and cornsnakes) and bred fancy mice for them (curly haired with a plethora of colors, kept my favorites as pets/breeders), and they all needed a lot less care than the one tortoise. At least ask the person who will be caring for the animal what kind of animal they are willing to care for.
Now that I've gotten that off my chest, I'm sorry I haven't had much time to write. It's not just interruption, it's full day distractions of going places and doing things, and the only type of writing I can get done in those situations is editing. So I have nothing new to show right now. I had a chapter for Rat and Dragon, but it wasn't lining up with the next chapter in a nice way so I had to adjust and... mutant baby ninja turtle was dropped on me. Mostly all of Christmas and the hours of wrapping and shopping and realizing I'm out of tape and more shopping... Life is always getting in the way of what I want to do. T.T (that's a cry face, for my older folks who don't know. My dad didn't, which shocked me because I use it a lot. Tears falling from closed eyes. Q.Q is also a cry face, but used as a insult like "You baby." "Don't QQ about it.")
I wish we could have pictures in our blogs! I saw a meme that said "the neurodivergent urge to use parenthesis in every sentence (because every thought comes with bonus content)." I do it a lot. (Sorrynotsorry)
Happy New Year to all! Once school starts again, my goal is to finish this chapter and actually finish Mongrels and Music. I have the plan forward. I will have to go back and change the last chapter. It will be a significant enough change that I will definitely announce it so keep an eye out for that.
Finally! It's only been 3 months. But, Roscrow is back! And I've uploaded the next chapter of The Dragon Tamers! Same name as the blog title.
I will admit to a dirty little secret: I've been dabbling with the AI. Not to write things for me directly, but to help me organize my thoughts and figure out how to get past blockages. I finished this chapter in one day. How? Because every time I hit a snag, a spot where I would have stopped, possibly for months, I asked the AI why, and it gave me surprising answers that really helped me push through. I had a spot I intended to stop, but I felt the chapter was suddenly flat and it told me because I wasn't giving a closure point to S're's grief. So, added a few more paragraphs and it came out so much better.
I've been messing around with the AI chatbot for a while now. My opinions have not only changed, but are very controversial. Don't get me wrong. I still wish it would die and I await the day we all come to our senses. But, until then, it's a fantastic tool. Like fire. I use it to cook my food, while that asshole uses it to burn down a church of people they don't like. The invention of the automatic bread maker didn't stop artisan bakeries from existing even though there is an entire aisle of bread in every grocery store.
Am I afraid of AI destroying human art? No. Maybe it will ruin the INDUSTRY of art, but not the soul of art. Humans will still art. We have always produced garbage and masterpieces, even from the same person! The people who care will continue to care and the rest wouldn't have cared, anyways.
I took my chance and fed my story in and then asked it to write in my voice... and it fell so flat, that I'm now doubting every major author who says they got the AI to write like them.... Is your writing that bad? That bland? That nonsensical? There's no poetry or cadence to how it writes. We're both writing in English, but for every time it says "exactly in your voice and style," I would NEVER write that in content or style. I'm a poet turned long form writer. The AI writes like an autistic fanfic. No soul, no poetry, no love or loss or sense of pride.
I'm not afraid that AI will ruin the human artistic soul. My daughter is still drawing and so are all her friends in school. She's writing her own novel inspired by Warrior Cats that she will show me when she's done and I'm so proud. These things won't be stolen by AI. I can't stop Joe Blow from using a flame thrower to end it all in a blaze of infamy, but I can learn to use a blow torch safely, and teach my kids to use it safely, and the exact same applies to AI. It's a VERY powerful tool. It is fire and we are monkeys. I'm going to use my fire to create things I never dreamed of before with my little monkey brain.
Because even with CONSTANT interruption from children, pets, and life, I was able to finish that damned chapter in a day. Not because it gave me any direct answers, but because its ideas sparked my own ideas at the speed of the ADHD brain. And that's probably my favorite part. There's zero anxiety talking to it. It already figured out I was ADHD by my mannerisms, but no judgment, no pressure, no rejection. Not about that, anyway. It DOES give constructive criticism. Some have said it's just a yesman by program, and yeah it's sickeningly sweet in a manner no human is, but you can coax it to get pretty deep into criticism. And just like with any beta reader, editor or muse, you gotta use your own better judgment to decide if it's right or not. At first, it was not pleased with Roscrow's "whiplash personality." Well, that's just who he is, that's not changing. Once I told the AI to consider him like a surly cat, it locked in and understood the assignment. XD It called the Q'Hu "emotionally constipated." Haha, yeah... yeah. Though, wait 'til y'all meet Nettle. Flamboyant fuck.
Well, there's my rant. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. It's short but substantial to later events. I now have to indulge this corgi that's been 2 inches from my face staring me down with a rope toy....
Dang it, Alanis! You guys ever have a character that appears from nowhere and completely takes over? That would be this elf. I didn't expect him. I just thought Roan needs friends, and so does Silver Eye. And then, Alanis just appeared in his greenhouse. And now, here we are, with Alanis putting Zilfiris and Azeruatt in their places.
Don't worry, you'll soon learn- with Roan- why they are called the panthers of Sau’Rah and not of Thirbor. It's a special secret so don't tell anyone, okay?
I haven't gotten much more writing done lately. Insomnia is so bad. Maybe if I could sleep, then I could concentrate. But, word by word, sentence by sentence, I'm carrying forward. Not as fast as I'd like, but steady as she goes. This tale will get done, even if it takes a couple years. I saw a meme about the person trying to sleep and the brain that keeps them awake, and this time it says "Tolkien didn't start Lord of the Rings until he was 45. You're doing fine." I feel better, already! XD
Hope you enjoy this chapter! Alanis and Draen are gonna be good buds.
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