Shinerdrinker: Blog

Okay fellas, I got a bit of bad news. I was going to send the next chapter of Mayhem in a Pill to my editors this weekend but the wife’s cat pissed on my laptop!

I’m serious. The fuckin’ thing peed on my laptop. Just my luck, it was open and ready for me to work on it last night. I spent most of the evening watching absolutely nothing on TV, but the wife liked that I was with her for the night.

So before I go to bed I look in my study to make sure everything is okay. It’s part of my final security rounds before bed. I’m sure everyone does the same thing. That is when I noticed the screen up and something shining on the keyboard. It was liquid and when I got closer the smell told me everything I needed to know.

I immediately disconnected everything from the laptop and started drying everything I could. I’m telling you there is nothing more disheartening then to see a flow of cat piss pouring out of your new laptop. FUCK!!

I yelled and that got the wife to come running. Then I noticed her cat sitting in the corner like she was waiting for me to find what she had done. I’m not a cat person but I didn’t hate the demon hell spawn or anything like that.

My wife comes in and sees me holding the computer and watching the vile fluid drip out of the machine. The smell now permeates the room. She understands what has happened without even having to ask the stupid question. Ugh!! She quickly goes for the cat and she actually picks her up to save her from the mean old man and whispering sweet platitudes and trying to hide the vile beast from me. Ugh!!

So anyway… long story short. The next chapter is gonna be a little while longer. I’ve already taken the laptop apart and separated the pieces and then cleaned as much as possible with rubbing alcohol. So now I have to let it sit and ventilate for at least 24 hours before I can check to see if the putrid stream of noxious piss has done irreparable harm to the computer.

Luckily it was a fairly new computer. And I bought it as a backup about five years ago when I thought my other laptop was getting ready to klunk out on me. But I fixed that computer and left this alone in the box in the corner for about five years. But about six months ago, the old and trusty laptop was finally beginning to show its age. Luckily I have backups for all the other chapters but I had not gotten around to backing up the chapter I had almost finished. That was the final check.

So we all sit with baited breath as we wait until the weekend for the drying out process to complete. At this point, I’m just gonna go buy an new computer. (Pause while I go to another tab and do so.)

At least now the wife can’t get mad at me for spending a lot more than I really wanted to for a new computer. But now, tee hee, I can get a really good one and play some video games the kids are all talking about. Pong about to be off the hook!! I’m even considering getting into that virtual reality nonsense.

So let’s hope at the very least I can pull the hard drive and pull off the last chapter I had almost finished. If it can’t be saved, I gotta rewrite it from memory. I’ve already started on this iPad but the attached keyboard is difficult to get used to the layout but the clicking the keys make reminds me of my youth when first learning to type. So at least there is that.

Finally, I’m pulling anything cat related out of my den and throwing it all out into the hall and it goes without saying, I’m also gonna be keeping the study door good and shut from now on and if the little bitch wants to try something like that again, I’m gonna be practicing my critter skinning. There’s got to be a YouTube video on how to do that somewhere.

Oh yeah, quick question… anybody want a cat?

Okay, I have to get something off my chest. Don't worry, it's not the end of the world but I need to address something... yes, I hear what you are saying about my propensity for the word "giggle." Hell, I even agree to a degree.

I have a glossary of terms to describe laughter that I got back in high school for a creative writing class I took way back when... you know after avoiding the rampaging dinosaurs.

Smirk: Slight, often fleeting upturning of the corners of the mouth, completely voluntary and controllable.
Smile: Silent, voluntary, and controllable, more perceptible than a smirk; begins to release endorphins.
Grin: Silent, controllable, but uses more facial muscles.
Snicker: First emergence of sound with facial muscles, but still controllable
Giggle: Has a 50 percent chance of reversal to avoid a full laugh; the sound of giggling is amusing; efforts to suppress it tend to increase its strength
Chuckle: involves chest muscles with deeper pitch
Chortle: originates even deeper in the chest and involves muscles of torso; usually provokes laughter in others
Laugh: Involves facial and thoracic muscles as well as abdomen and extremities; the sound of barking or snorting
Cackle: First involuntary stage; pitch is higher and the body begins to rock, the spine extends and flexes, with an upturning of head
Guffaw: Full body response; feet stomp, arms wave, thighs slapped, torso rocks, the sound is deep and loud; may result in free-flowing of tears, increased heart rate, and breathlessness; strongest solitary laughter experience
Howl: Volume and pitch rise higher and higher and the body becomes more animated
Shriek: Greater intensity than howl; a sense of helplessness and vulnerability
Roar: Lose individuality; i.e., the audience roars!

I have used this glossary of terms to describe laughing in my writing and while I agree I use 'giggle' too often, it is the term that perfectly describes what my mind sees when I'm writing the scene. I will endeavor to use these descriptions more fluently in the future and try to stay away from 'giggle.' Unless 'giggle' is just too damn perfect of a description of what is going on during the scene!

Tee Hee!

--Shinerdrinker

Okay, Chapter 63 of Mayhem in a Pill is ready and has been sent to the SOL queue. Good chance it is already on there but if it ain't just give it a little time.

Introducing some new figures in the story to shake things up a bit. I'm actually excited about working these people into the story just because of all the bombs that could go off and destroy or rebuild all kinds of storylines. It's very exciting. But before you all worry, just know I was always going to use these new characters, I just did not know when to introduce them into the mix. But I figured now was as good a time as any, so here you go. Enjoy.

--Shinerdrinker

Umm, just a quick one here e'erybody.

I have sent the next chapter of "Mayhem in a Pill" to the editors. They all obviously wait with bated breath by their computers ignoring all other wants or desires until my wonderful prose comes all over their email inboxes.

At least, that's what I've been told. So they gotta read it and then send it back and then I totally ignore it all and go with what I originally wrote. (That little bit is just to keep my already high opinion of myself in the stratosphere.)

Once they read it over, they'll get it back to me and I'll post it soon thereafter. Or I'll just say "fuck it" and go back to wishing for the next chapter of Dman 3. But I'll more than likely do both.

Thank you for your support. (Bartles and Jaymes TV commercial voice.)

-- Shinerdrinker

So I was just watching the new trailer for a new popcorn movie, "Moonfall." The only thing I could think about it was... "Crap, There Goes That Idea!"

I have several different ideas for the next story after I finish Mayhem and one of those ideas featured the hollow moon as a machine idea and well, there goes that idea. Maybe I can still do it if their idea is waaaaayyyy different than mine.

Let's hope so. I really want to do that story.

--Shinerdrinker