I recently had a person contact me about the story. A email@example.com told me that the story wasn't believable. In fact, this is what he had to say...
You took a very unique and great idea using the disease for the basis for potentially great story.
BUT ... you really fucked things up. What would have made this a great story is that it is based on fact: the disease actually exists and halts physical growth.
You totally threw out the window any semblance of reality when you (I guess it's your turn-on) gave her D cup breasts.
WTF?? An 11 YO with D cup tits wouldn't look like an 11 YO, she'd look like a fucking freak!!! That's the most
She'd be just like any other short youthful looking woman (a great many Asians would fit that bill).
I scored you a 5 on plot just for being so stupid.
So. After thinking about it, and having a little debate with myself about it being a "Fantasy" story, I decided to make the "correct" changes, and have the character of Jamie actually fit the body that she's supposed have.
Granted, my little turn on is Asian girls, this particular story itself was based on a idea that came about when a friend and I were talking about the old Batman cartoon that used to air on Fox, and a character called "Baby Doll", that had the said disease. And, I can never find a article stating that the disease is real. Oh, by the way, this is what I found about Hypoplasia.
hypoplasia /hy·po·pla·sia/ (-pla'zhah) incomplete development or underdevelopment of an organ or tissue.hypoplas'tic
systemic /sys·tem·ic/ (sis-tem'ik) pertaining to or affecting the body as a whole
So. For Mr. firstname.lastname@example.org's sake, I'll change it around so that Jamie has the body that she's supposed to have.
Thank you for reading.