Chapter 16

They sat at the kitchen table to drink their tea and eat their toast. There was a long silence and Tina did not look at him. Christopher held his tongue. She would speak when she was ready.

"Um, Christopher," she began finally. "I'm afraid I didn't tell you the truth when I told you about leaving Merle and Tania. Yes, Merle is a chatterbox and yes, Tania is a bit untidy but that wasn't why I moved out. I-I felt ashamed of myself and that I was tainting them by association."

She stopped and rung her hands. Christopher said and did nothing. It was a long pause and then with her head bowed and very quietly she told him what Merle had told him. She looked up at him pleadingly for a moment and then back down at her hands. Still he remained silent for a minute or two.

"I'm sorry, Christopher. I'm ashamed of myself and that is why I've never responded to your kindness and love. I didn't want to dirty you."

He reached for her hands and gently stilled them.

"Thank you for telling me, Tina," he said quietly. "It explains a lot but I don't understand why you feel dirty or ashamed."

"Because I led him on."

"I don't believe you did."

She looked up sharply. "How can you say that? I took him back to my flat and let him into my bed."

"No, Tina. You would never have done that. Your personality, your character and your upbringing would never have let you do that. He took you back to your flat and he led you to your bed."

"How can you say that?"

"Because I've come to know you pretty well, Tina, despite your reticence. He plied you with drink and then drugged you. You must have heard of 'date rape drugs'."

She shook her head.

"Oh my little Tina, my sweet, innocent, little Tina. They are drugs that make you a bit woozy and very compliant and that is what the bastard did to you. Didn't the girls tell you that?"

"I-I don't know. They might have done but I was so disgusted with myself that I wasn't really listening to them. I just felt I had to get away."

"I can understand that. Did you talk to your mother about it?"

"No! It would have upset her terribly. I just had to live with it myself."

"Have the girls ever talked to you about it since?"

"No. I asked them not to."

"I see and they're fond enough of you to do that and not upset you all over again."

She nodded.

"I hope I haven't upset you now."

She shook her head.

"Tina, would you come and sit on my knee?"

She looked uncertainly at him.

"Please."

She did so and he cuddled her gently.

"You know, what you've told me explains a number of things, like you loved me but didn't love love me, your silence on the way home on Friday evenings, the way you went off to bed on the Friday evening you came home and Dad splashed the alcohol around a bit heavily. I don't know whether you noticed but on the Saturday evening I only offered you one glass of wine because I wondered whether there was a connection between alcohol and Friday evenings. There was, wasn't there?"

"Yes." It was no more than a whisper.

"I realised there was something that had upset you deeply and that you were never going to relax fully with me which is why when the clocks went forward I stopped ferrying you to and from the City and only invited you to one more concert. I thought it might hurt you and I'm afraid it did. Merle rang me and gave me absolute stick until I told her why. She didn't say anything more other than to apologise for flying off the handle."

Tina looked up with tear-filled eyes. "God you're special," she said and then, burying her head in his chest cried her heart out, silently and wrackingly. Christopher just held her, his lips to the top of her head and gently stroking her upper arm.

Eventually she calmed down and looked up again. "I'm sorry, Christopher, I've treated you appallingly. I realised why you stopped ferrying me and inviting me out and I was thoroughly miserable but somehow grateful that I didn't have to cope anymore with emotions that were becoming more and more difficult to control. Will you forgive me?"

"Nothing to forgive, little one, provided you don't put up the barriers again. If you decide I'm really not love love material fair enough but please give me time to try and convince you because I'm drawn to you like no other girl I've ever met."

She wriggled her arms free and took his head in her hands. "Yes, Christopher, I will. I promise."

She kissed his lips sweetly. Her arms went round his neck and her head back into his chest.

His arms tightened around her slightly and he kissed the top of her head. "Thank you, little one.

Some minutes later she shivered and her head came up again. "Thank you again, for rescuing me this morning. Heaven knows how many times they'd have raped me. I wonder how they were planning to stop me reporting them. Do you think they'd have imprisoned me somewhere or even killed me?"

"I don't know and I don't actually care. What matters to me is that you weren't raped, you weren't harmed and that you're now safe. You're also in my arms which is an added bonus."

This time it was he who initiated the gentle kiss.

"Much as I hate to let go of you," he went on, "I'm beginning to get the feeling it's beer time. What about you? There's the wine we bought this morning, some ginger beer and some coke."

"Ginger beer sounds good and then," she bit her lip before smiling up at him, "we could always go back to the sofa."

"Oh, she's not just a pretty face. Ginger beer it shall be. Unhand me, woman."

She pecked him on the lips and did as she was told.

While they were pouring their drinks Christopher asked, "Do you want to give Merle a ring?"

"Do you mind?"

"I wouldn't have suggested it if I did and you can always do it from your room although then I shall have to stipulate a time limit to you being out of my sight."

"Ten minutes?"

Christopher sucked his teeth.

"Nine and a half?"

"That's better."

She grinned at him, took her glass, dipped him a little curtsey and pranced off.

Christopher watched her joyfully and happily. It looked as though she had thrown off the trauma of the rape but it had been so deep-seated that he wondered whether she still might need therapy at some stage. He put some quiet music on to play.

Fortunately Merle was in and Tina was able to tell her the story of the last forty-eight hours. Merle was horrified and said so without mincing her words.

"Well done Christopher though. You're a lucky girl to be able to call on a guy like that. Wow! How long is he going to let you stay?"

"No limit but it might get a bit difficult."

"Well you're always welcome back here, love."

"Thanks, Merle. Um, after the um..."

"Yes."

"Did you tell me about date rape drugs?"

"You bet because that's what the bastard did."