Chapter 13

Roger and Ellie did not get back from their walk until gone six. Christopher suspected a little dalliance. Everyone gathered in the drawing room for a drink at seven. Christopher was unable to restrain a smiling dig at Roger.

"You must have walked miles," he said.

"Telling me," responded Roger with an equal smile. "I'm an infantryman for heaven's sake but your little sister walked me off my feet."

Ellie had the grace to look down and blush slightly.

The whole family liked Roger even more by the end of the evening. He was amusing, scrupulously polite, relaxed and clearly very interested in Ellie. Christopher was delighted for her. He managed to tell her so the following day and she responded slightly bashfully but also delightedly.

He also told her about Jenny's second phone call the previous day. "What worried me was that she said that she loved me."

"I'll bet. What did you say to that?"

"Nothing. She rang off."

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm not sure. I think I'm going to have to be pretty firm with her on Tuesday. She's pledged herself to Bea and to say that she loves me is unfaithful. That she's prepared to have an affair with me with Bea's knowledge is pushing the limits but I can understand her being in lust having only just discovered what making love with a man's like."

"Hmm. I suppose but I can't believe Bea's happy with the arrangement."

"Nor can I and I may well have to tell Jenny that we can't go on."

"I think you've got to."

"Thanks, Els. You've no idea how much I value your advice."

Christopher met Jenny at Cannon Street as planned. She was restrained in her greeting but her eyes were shining with happiness to see him. They did not talk much on the twenty minute train journey but she held his hand the whole way and indeed throughout the walk to his flat.

He had hardly shut the door behind them than she enveloped him. He dropped her backpack which he had been carrying for her and put his arms round her. She continued to cling to him for a full two minutes and he could feel her shaking. Finally she looked up at him, her face streaked with tears.

"Oh Ch-Chris," she managed to get out. "I-I've m-missed you."

He smiled and gently kissed her forehead. She pulled his head down and plastered her lips to his, her tongue urgently probing until he surrendered.

Some minutes later they broke apart. "You are a very fierce, strong lady," he said.

"Sorry, Chris, but there was a lot of pent up emotion."

She looked as though she was about to resume and Chris gently pushed her away.

"Red wine followed by pizza between quarter and half past eight sound all right again?" he asked.

She nodded. Leaving her back pack where it had fallen he led her to the kitchen where he poured their drinks and ordered the pizzas. She followed him back to the sofa where she sat beside him rather than at the other end as she had done initially on her previous visit.

"Are you pleased to see me?" she asked timidly.

"Very," he answered truthfully, "but a bit overwhelmed by your enthusiasm."

"Sorry but, as I said, I've missed you, particularly over the weekend."

"I've missed you too but had accepted that Bea is your life and that I can expect no more than occasional treats."

"You're not cross with me?"

"No, Jenny Wren, just, as I said, a bit overwhelmed."

"Sorry," she said again. "Why?"

"Because you've chosen Bea. I'd have thought that after the weekend apart you'd have wanted more than just Sunday evening and last night together."

"But I'd had all weekend without either of you and was not going to be able to see you for three weeks which is why I rang you again on Saturday and arranged this visit. This evening is the only one when my coach is not available."

"Oh. What was Bea's reaction?"

Jenny looked down. "A bit sad."

"Mm."

"A bit cross too, I suppose."

"I can imagine."

"Oh, Chris, are you cross too?"

"No. Just a bit puzzled."

"Why?"

"You said on Sunday that you loved me."

Jenny looked up at him and bit her lip. Her eyes filled with tears. "I-I do."

"Jenny, which of us do you really love? And I mean that. Which one would you be prepared to spend your life with?"

"B-both of you."

"Yes, Jenny Wren, but you told Bea you would never send her away and she and I both have said that we're not prepared to be a threesome."

He left it hanging.

There was a long silence. Jenny realised that she had been challenged and her brain worked at speed. Bea was in love with her totally and irrevocably. If she gave her up Bea might well commit suicide or do something almost as desperate. Chris would not but she could not bear to lose him. He was so gentle, amusing and exciting. She had to choose between the two. Slowly it came to her. She had made a promise to Bea and, despite all the feelings she had for Chris and the hurts she had selfishly inflicted on Bea, she could only stick to Bea. She ruefully acknowledged that her 'love' for Chris was lust even though she liked him and admired him enormously.

"Bea," she whispered. "I do love you, Chris, and I value your, your affection for me. No, Chris, I know it's more than affection. I know it could be love but not a two way love. Oh God! Why is life so difficult? I love you both and you, you my darling man, have made me realise that my life is with Bea."

"No, Jenny. You had realised that. You have said so to Bea and now you've acknowledged it to me. Well done, Jenny! I admire and respect you for that."

"So are you going to send me home?"

"No unless you feel you ought to go."

"Please no, Chris. Let us make love together once more."

"So three weeks' time is off?"

"I suppose."

They had made a decision and realised that this was to be their last time together. They ate their pizzas and laughed and giggled as they did so. They made passionate love that night and first thing in the morning.

They travelled up to Cannon Street and clung together before they parted.

"Does this mean goodbye for ever?" Jenny asked.

"No, I hope not, my Jenny Wren. I look forward to seeing both of you often."

"You are special."

"No. Just sensible, I hope."

"Too sensible. I shall still love you and thank you, my darling Chris, for everything."

They hugged tightly.

Chris was genuinely sad it was over. He felt a lot for Jenny but there it was. Bea was the important one and, he had the feeling, if Jenny had opted for him she would never get over the guilt unless Bea found true happiness which he doubted she would.

He was stunned when Bea rang him on Friday evening.

"Jenny's gone straight down to Margate," she said, "So I can talk to you."

"Lovely to hear you, Bea. How can I help?"

"Jen's accepted what you've agreed but she's in a tangle."

"Oh Lord! I thought we'd got it sorted."

"Factually yes but emotionally no."

"Oh!"

"Um, Christopher, this is very cheeky of me, but could I come round tomorrow evening and talk it over with you?"

"Of course you can, Bea. Are you going to come by train or car?"

"Train."

"OK. Give me a ring from Cannon Street when you know what train you're on and I'll meet you at the station."

"Fine. Um, Chris, I think it may take a bit of a while to sort things out. Um, could I possibly stay the night? I don't want to be a bother."

"Of course you can, Bea. I've got a spare room so you won't even have to sleep on the sofa."

"Oh, um, thanks, Chris. Um, see you tomorrow."

The meeting arrangements worked and they walked to Christopher's flat in virtual silence.