Chapter 3

"No, you stay there in case she comes home ... and if she does, call me." Harrison grabbed his keys and took off in search of his daughter.

Anxiously he pulled out of the parking lot with no idea where to look or who she could be with; all he knew was he couldn't sit around and do nothing. Who knows, he thought, I might just get lucky and find her in a restaurant somewhere.

Harrison drove aimlessly around, checking one restaurant after another. In one he saw some kids who looked about Ashley's age. He pulled out a picture and asked if they knew her. One boy said she was in one of his classes but he had no idea where she would be.

Becoming more worried by the minute, Harrison continued his hunt until Twelve-thirty when his phone rang. He immediately pulled over to the side of the road.

"Hello," he nervously answered.

"Harrison, it me; she's okay, she just got home." He could tell his wife had been crying.

"This stops here and now," he said angrily. "Don't let her go to bed yet, I'm on my way over there right now."

"I ... okay," she said weakly. "She's already upstairs but I'll tell her you're on your way."

By the time he reached the house Harrison was fuming. He was no psychologist but he knew adolescent self-destructive behavior when he saw it. If he couldn't get through to his daughter he was afraid she'd set out on a path that would mean nothing but trouble. He turned off the engine and just sat there for a minute. He didn't want to go in screaming. He had to think. He had to calm down. He took a deep breath and headed for the front door.

Laura heard the car and was waiting for him. She had the door open by the time he reached the porch.

"Where is she," he grumbled wasting no time.

"She's in her room. Maybe you can get her to come out; she won't for me."

Harrison took the steps two at a time. He stopped outside her door and took another deep breath before knocking.

"Ashley, come on out here, please. I want to talk to you," he calmly said through the door. There was no answer. "Ashley, open this door, now, and come out here." There was still no answer. He knocked a little harder. His voice was much firmer this time. "Ashley, open this door or I'm going to remove it from the hinges and throw the damn thing away. Then we won't have this problem again because you won't have a door."

Ashley knew her dad, he didn't bluff. He meant exactly what he said. Apprehensively she opened the door to face her father.

Harrison could see she also had been crying. "Good choice," he told her sternly. "Go wash your face and come on down stairs; we're going to Denny's for a talk."

He went down and told Laura. "Denny's?" she asked. "Can't you just talk to her here? It's a school night, Harrison, and it's already so late."

"I'm hoping the neutral atmosphere will help her relax and I can get to the bottom of this," he stated.

When Ashley was ready she and her dad road silently to the Denny's a couple miles away. They found a booth. Harrison ordered coffee and Ashley, ice tea.

"Now," started Harrison after the waitress brought their drinks, "what's going on, Ashley. Your mother tells me you've been sassing her and the other night you were out with some boy till midnight."

"I should have figured she'd come running to you. Don't worry, dad, Danny and I didn't do anything; I'm not a slut like her."

"Hey!" Harrison didn't yell but spoke very firmly. "First of all you're your mother didn't come running to me. When you didn't come home she called to see if you were with me, and second, she is not a slut and I don't ever want to hear you call her that again, do you hear me young lady."

"Fine," she said defiantly, "then what do you call it. She had sex with another man and now you're going to divorce her." His daughter's eyes were starting to glisten again. "I miss you, dad, and it's all moms' fault. I hate her."

Ashley was fifteen years old, but in his eyes, still his little girl. The situation was obviously having a negative impact on her. She always listened to her dad before; he prayed she'd listen this time.

"I see, so you're going to punish her by disrespecting yourself. Is that right?"

"Ah, no ... I" she looked at her dad knowing he was disappointed in her. Now a couple tears broke free and ran down her cheeks. He always had a way of putting things in perspective.

"Tell me, how do you feel after sassing your mother?"

"What do you mean?"

"How do you feel about yourself? Does it make you feel good?"

"It's not about that, dad, it's about what she did," she whimpered.

"It's exactly about that, Ashley. First of all, I don't believe you hate your mother and if you do, your hate is badly misplaced. Your mother did a terrible thing. Sometimes good people do bad things, it happens. People are not perfect, not even parents. It's our flaws that make us human. From what you've told me and from what I see for myself, not a day has gone by when your mom hasn't regretted what she did. Her pain is as deep as yours and mine but she also has to deal with the guilt."

"Well ... she deserves it, doesn't she? If you can be mad at her I don't see why I shouldn't be mad at her too," Ashley snarled. "Dad, because of what she did, we're no longer a family," she said in a voice cracking with emotion.

"Some kids at school have divorced parents and I always felt sorry for them, now I'm going to be one of them. I never thought it would happen to me. I used to think I was so lucky because my mom and dad loved each other, but now all that's ruined and she's the blame."

"Ashley, I understand you being angry, but we can be angry with people and still love them. Honey, your behavior is only making a bad situation worse. Both your mom and I are worried about you. Be angry but don't lose yourself in it. Don't let that anger destroy who you are. Don't lose your own self-respect by disrespecting your mother.

"But dad, you always said respect had to be earned."

"You don't think fifteen years of loving and caring for you should earn her your respect?" he shot back.

"But, dad..."

"Listen Ashley, she's the same person who stayed up nights caring for you when you were sick; the same person who was there for you whenever you needed her, and the same person who always made sure you had whatever you needed. There isn't anything she wouldn't do for you and you know it. If the roles were reversed she'd be the first one in your corner, wouldn't she."

Ashley picked a napkin up from the table and dabbed her eyes dry. "Yeah," she sobbed.

"Honey, sometimes people do terrible things but that doesn't make them terrible people and it sure doesn't mean you simply stop loving them, not if you truly loved them to begin with."

Ashley wiped more tears from her eyes while she thought about what her dad said.

Ashley, It's okay to be angry but we both raised you to be kind, loving, and compassionate. Don't let your anger change that; don't let it harden you or you'll wind up paying for her mistake for the rest of your life.

"Do you love your mother?" he asked her point blank.

"I guess." She hesitated for only a second. Yes, of course I do."

"Then go ahead and let her know you're angry over what she did, but also let her know that you still love her, honey.

"Okay, I'm sorry, dad."

"I'm not the one you should be apologizing to, pumpkin."

Ashley nodded her head and wiped her eyes again. "I know. I'll tell mom I'm sorry."

"That's my girl," he said with a smile. "And no more back talk or staying out late," he told her.

She shook her head. "No, no more, I promise."

"Good, now are you hungry; you want some pie or something?"

She shook her head no as she took a sip of her iced tea.

Harris could see there was a question behind that beautiful face. "What is it, honey?"

"Dad, why can't you stand by mom? You told me you still love her."

The question caught him off-guard.

"Honey, my relationship with your mother is different than yours. When two people get married they make promises and commitments to one another. Love is important but it's not the only thing. Fidelity, loyalty, trust, they're the foundation of a successful marriage and when those things are lost the foundation crumbles. It doesn't mean they don't love each other anymore, it just means that maybe they shouldn't be married anymore."

"You're never coming back, are you, dad?"

He could see the moisture still glistening in her eyes. "Baby, I don't mean to put you off but I honestly don't know."

It was one-thirty in the morning by the time they got back. Laura heard them pull in and was out on the porch by the time Ashley kissed her dad good night and got out of the car. Harrison watched as she apologized, then hugged her mother. He was praying it would be the last of Ashley's rebellion.

Later in the week Harrison was still having a hard time sleeping. With everything else churning around in his head, he was still worried about Ashley. By Friday morning he was barely able to drag himself out of bed. Dana took one look at her boss and hated to have to tell him he was wanted in Mr. Prichert's office. Ken Prichert was founder and CEO of Marketing Specialist, Inc. He was also one of the three guys Harrison answered to.

He was busy looking at something on his computer when Harrison approached so he gently knocked on the floor to ceiling glass window of his boss' office. Mr. Prichert looked up with a smile and motioned for him to come in.

"Have a seat, Harrison; I was just going over some of your reports." As Harrison sat down his boss looked away from the screen and straight into Harrison's face. "What's going on?"

"What's ... I don't..."

"Bullshit, Harrison. You know exactly what I'm talking about. For the last month or two, your work has been mediocre at best. I'm not used to seeing this kind of effort from you, or should I say the lack thereof. Whatever problems you're having is affecting this company and I can't allow that to go on. You're too good at your job to let this kind of crap slide. Now what's going on? What has you so upset you can't do your job?"

Harrison was demoralized. He knew his work was not up to his usual standards but to hear the man he regarded so highly, express it so bluntly was really disheartening.

"I ... I'm sorry, Ken, it's ... ah, a few personal problems."

"Okay; look, I don't want to pry into your personal life, Harrison, but neither do I want to lose one of this company's most valuable assets. If you won't tell me what's wrong how do I know if I can help or not? Are Laura and Ashley okay?"

"Yeah, they're both okay, it's just..." he took a breath. "Well, I've moved out of the house."

"I see." Ken's voice suddenly took on a sad tone. "I'm sorry to hear that, Harrison. I sure hope it's nothing that can't be resolved. You two always seemed to be a truly loving couple."

"Thanks, Ken. I ... I don't really see us getting back together, though. I could forgive almost anything, but..." he really didn't want to lay his troubles on his boss. He thought he'd already said too much so he stopped in mid-sentence.

"You're telling me Laura cheated on you?"

Harrison's face showed his surprise. He hadn't intended to give out that information. The guy must be psychic, he thought.

Mr. Prichert read the look on Harrison's face. "It's the one thing that most husbands can't forgive," he said, answering the unasked question. "It's funny, but women are much more likely to forgive infidelity than men, did you know that?"

"No, but then I hadn't really given it a lot of thought. I wonder why that would be, though. Women are more emotional than men; you'd think they'd be less likely to forgive."

"I suspect it has to do with a man's pride. Oh don't get me wrong, I'm not saying a man shouldn't have pride, not by a long shot. But I do believe there are cases where forgiveness is in order, when a second chance is appropriate but a man's pride gets in the way of it happening. I know that's what happened in my case," he admitted.

"Your case? I don't get it, you and Joyce..."

"No, not me and Joyce," he interrupted. "Joyce is my second wife; me and my first wife, Monica."

Harrison was stunned. "I didn't know you were married before."

"Yeah, we got married right out of college. I was so madly in love with her I couldn't see straight, but that didn't stop me from cheating on her."

"Cheating on her," blurted Harrison sitting up in the chair. "I thought you said she cheated on you."

"We cheated on each other," he revealed. "But I was first. It wasn't long after I started the company. It took off faster than I ever anticipated. My dad worked for the rail road all his life, but I owned my own business; I really thought I was a big-shot. I was a decent looking guy, suddenly had money to burn, and had ample opportunities to sleep with some good looking women. In the beginning I resisted, but after a while I thought what the hell, I'm a successful entrepreneur, why shouldn't I indulge a little. I didn't think of the consequences or how it would affect Monica if she ever found out."

Harrison was shocked and disillusioned with his boss' confession. This was a man he had always liked and admired. "Ken, I find this hard to imagine. You just don't seem like that kind of guy," he said disbelievingly.

"Well I learned my lesson," he replied sadly. "Unfortunately it was too late by that time. When Monica discovered what I was doing she took revenge. The difference was I was discreet; she rubbed my nose in it. She flaunted her affair. I would have loved to beg for her forgiveness, maybe gone to couples therapy or something, but she had backed me into a corner. She made her affair known to friends and business associates alike. My pride was at stake. I had no choice but to file for divorce."

"Why did she do that?" Harrison asked.

"Why-huh," chuckled Ken, "because she was hurt; hurt and royally pissed. She was lashing out and I really couldn't blame her. I just wished she would have given me another chance. Don't get me wrong, Joyce is a wonderful woman and I love her dearly, it's just..." he paused briefly and stared into space.

Harrison could see the sadness in his eyes.

"It's just that I'll never stop loving Monica," he continued in a soft, regretful voice.

Harrison had never seen his boss look so melancholy.

Ken looked into Harrison's face again. "Don't ever repeat that."

"No, of course not, Ken. I ... I had no idea..."

"Well it's not something I'm proud of; I don't go around telling everyone. By the time you came aboard I was already remarried ... anyway," he said as he appeared to come back to life, "I guess what I'm saying is, make sure you've explored all the options before you do anything, Harrison. A man's pride is very important. He needs to take pride in himself, in his work, in his achievements, and in his family; just don't let it stand in the way of your happiness, my friend."

"I won't" Harrison promised as he started to stand up.

"Sit down, I'm not finished yet," ken demanded. "Tell you what; I want you to take a week off..."

Harrison didn't like that idea. "Ken, I can..."

"I won't take no for an answer," he responded, cutting Harrison short. "Don't worry, I'm still going to pay you, and because I'm forcing this on you it won't count toward your vacation time, but I want you to take some time to think things through, after-all that's your strong point, isn't it; your ability to see all the angles?"

Harrison could see his boss was serious.

"I'll give you till the end of the day to make sure all the fires are out. Then I want you to bring one of your guys up to speed and tell him he's in charge for the next week. I want you to focus on your personal life and not worry about work, understand?"

"Yeah, I understand," he sighed.

A week off was the last thing he wanted. At least work gave him a distraction so he didn't have to think about his situation, but as he thought about it more, he realized it was the right thing to do. Things needed to be resolved ... one way or the other.

He stopped by a restaurant on the way home. He worked straight through lunch to make sure he didn't leave anything behind that would blow up while he was gone. While consuming his southern fried steak, Harrison thought of Ken's story. Something he said kept nagging at him; he cheated because he felt like a big shot. In essence that was just what his wife told him. The words were different but the concept was the same.

It was still on his mind when he returned to his motel room, that's when he remembered the book Laura asked him to read. He walked over to the dresser and removed it from the bottom drawer. "'A' is for adultery," Just looking at the title brought back those horrible memories from the night she told him. He felt like tossing the book into the garbage but he stopped himself, pulled out a beer, and settled down on the bed as he opened it to the first page.

Just like the former owner, he found it interesting and extremely informative. He was well into the third chapter by the time he fell asleep with the book resting on his chest. The next day was Saturday; the book would have to wait. The weekend was for him and his daughter.

The weekend was like most he had spent with Ashley. He always had something planned that was fun for both of them. Sunday night he would take her to a restaurant before taking her home.

"So, how are you and your mother getting along?" he asked. "Any better?"

"Yeah, we've kind of come to a truce, I guess," she replied. "But it was easier being mad at her than it is to feel sorry for her."

Harrison found that to be a strange statement. "I don't get it; what do you mean?"

"She cries in her room almost every night. I can hear her when I'm in bed. When I was mad at her I used to think, good, be miserable, you deserve it. But now I feel sorry for her again and it hurts."

There seemed to be no end to the pain caused by his wife's selfish desires, he thought. His daughter's statement went right to his soul.

Monday he started to read the book again but he only got as far as the fifth chapter before closing it and putting it away. Everything was swirling around in his head, the book, his daughter, his boss' confession...

Harrison pulled out his cell and called home. The answering machine kicked on after the third ring so he left a brief message.

"Laura, I want to come over and talk. Give me a call back and let me know when you're available, will you please."

The second call was to his boss.

"Harrison, this better not be work related," Ken grumbled.

"No, Ken," he said with a little amusement. "I'm doing what you told me to do. I'm working on my personal problems."

"Good, in that case what can I do for you?"

"When we were talking on Friday, you mention counseling; I was just wondering if you ever went as far as to find a good counselor?"

"Shit, Harrison, that was thirty years ago. Besides, I never even got that far, like I said, she cut me off at the knees. I'll tell you what though; I'll call Terry Hecter, our attorney. With all the ambulance chasers that work in that firm I'll bet one or two have to be divorce lawyers. They work with marriage counselors all the time; I'll see if I can't get a recommendation for you."

"Thanks, Ken. I appreciate it."

"Oh, Harrison," uttered his boss before he could hang up, "I think you're doing the right thing."

"Thanks, Ken, but there's no guarantees. If she wants to give counseling a shot I'll go along with it, if not then it's over."

"She'll go for it. I'm sure of it," he said optimistically.

It was almost eight o'clock by the time Laura got home. She should have been home by six but the restaurant was so busy her boss asked if she could stay until the rush was over. She gladly agreed.

"Mom," Ashley yelled down from her room when she heard her mother in the hall. "Dad left a message on the machine. He wants you to call him."

Laura momentarily froze with fear. Was this it ... divorce? She wondered, what did he say, exactly? How did he sound ... angry? Her hand trembled as she reached for the playback button but she had to hear him for herself.

"Laura, I want to come over and talk. Give me a call back and let me know when you're available, will you please."

That was it? She hadn't a clue. All she could do was call and pray.

"Harrison..."

He could hear the hesitancy in her voice. "Hi, Laura, how are you and Ashley getting along?"

"Much better, thank you; whatever you said to her made a big difference."

"Good," he responded. "Listen, Laura, I've been given a lot of thought to our situation..."

Laura closed her eyes. Here it comes, she thought. She took a deep breath and waited for the hammer to drop.

"Would you have time some night this week to sit down and talk?" he asked.

She silently let the air out of her lungs with a small sigh of relief. At least he didn't tell me over the phone, she thought. She was still very anxious. She had to know what he wanted to talk about but she was too scared to ask. Still ... she needed to know.

"Well I just got home but you're welcome to come over now. I'll put a pot of coffee on."

"Okay, see you in about twenty minutes," he said, then hung up without another word.

Laura quickly started the coffee then ran upstairs to change out of her uniform.

"What did dad want?" Ashley asked when she saw her mom going into the bedroom.

"I'm not sure, honey. He's coming over to talk."

Ashley could hear the anxiety in her mom's voice and it scared her. She walked through the hall and into her mom's room. She saw her mom slipping into a skirt. There were tears in her eyes.

"Mom, why are you crying? What did he say?"

"Oh, honey, I'm sorry. He didn't say anything ... honest. I'm just a little nervous, that's all. Please don't be scared," Laura said trying to console her daughter.

Ashley wasn't buying it. "He's going to divorce you, isn't he?" she yelled. "I knew it, I knew it! Why did you have to do it? Why wasn't daddy good enough for you?" she cried with anger.

"Oh, honey," Laura replied looking into the distressed face of her daughter. "I ... I don't know why I did it but it had nothing to do with your father not being good enough. He's the finest man I know. I ... I'm so sorry, dear. I'm so sorry!"

Every tear that dripped from the grieving young girl's eyes was like a stake being driven through Laura's heart. She stretched out her arms as she closed the gap between herself and Ashley.

"Oh mom," said the teenager. She wrapped her arms around her mother and pressed the side of her face into the soothing pillows of her mom's breasts, just like she did as a little girl.

"What are we going to do, mom?" she wept. "What are we going to do without dad?"

At that point they were both convinced Harrison was coming over to tell Laura he was divorcing her. For about the thousandth time since her confession, Laura cursed herself for all the pain she caused her family.

The two held each other, each looking to the other for some solace. They were still embraced when they heard the doorbell.

"Listen, honey," Laura addressed her daughter as she wiped away her tears. "Maybe this isn't what we think it is. I have to go down and talk to him, baby. Try not to worry too much; I'll let you know what's going on as soon as I know myself, okay?"

Ashley sadly nodded her head and returned to her own bedroom. She flopped face down on her bed and waited.

"Hi, Harrison," said Laura as she opened the door. She forced a smile. "You don't have to ring the bell you know; this is still your house."

Harrison forced a smile of his own as and he acknowledged her words with a nod.

"Where would you like to do this, in here," she said gesturing to the living room, "or in the kitchen?"

"The kitchen's fine," he replied already heading in that direction.

Laura made a little nervous small talk while she poured the coffee then joined him on the opposite end of the table.

Harrison sighed just a little before getting to the reason he was there. He couldn't help being a little apprehensive; he still wasn't sure he was doing the right thing.

"Laura, I don't think you have any idea how much you hurt me. To this day I keep hearing your voice telling me you cheated on me and every time I hear it the pain starts all over again. I don't know how many times I've picked up the phone to call a divorce lawyer, but well ... obviously I haven't made the call yet."

He took a sip of coffee then continued.

"Part of me wants to. Part of me says it's over, you cheated, that's it. But then there's another part of me that keeps saying, people aren't perfect, maybe after seventeen years together she deserves another chance."

He took a brief moment to gather his thoughts.

"I read some of that book you gave me. You were right. It did help me understand how people can sometimes get sucked into a bad situation ... that's still no excuse for what you did," he commented emphatically.

Laura was on the edge of her seat as he stopped for another drink. He kept going back and forth. She still wasn't sure what would be waiting for her when he stopped talking. What was he leading up to? Was he going to tell her he was divorcing her or not? It was sheer torture.

"Anyway," he resumed. "If you're interested I'd like try counseling. To be honest, I don't know if I can ever forgive you, but I'm willing to give it a try..."

Before Harrison could finish his statement Laura completely lost it. Four months of worry, grief, remorse, and guilt had just morphed into the first sign of actual hope. It was more than she could handle.

Laura buried her face in both hands and burst out in tears. Ashley, who had been listening, unseen from the bottom of the staircase, rushed to her mother's side to comfort her.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Laura bellowed. "I ... I..." she was too emotional to speak. She stood and literally ran upstairs to the bedroom.

"What was all that about?" Harrison asked.

"I think she was just so relieved, dad. Before you came we both thought for sure you were going to give her divorce papers."

"Oh honey, I'm sorry. I should have said more over the phone. I'll go up and talk to her."

"Let her go, dad. She's been trying to stay brave for me but she needs to let it out. Just give her a few minutes, okay."

He looked at this daughter. This whole thing was causing her to grow up much faster than he wanted.

"Dad, do you really think there's a chance we could be a family again?"

"There's a chance, honey, but I'm not making any promises," he said qualifying his answer. He still had his doubts and he didn't want to build everyone's hopes up. "If you're mother's interested in going to counseling..."

"Oh she's interested, dad."

"Okay," he said with a slight chuckle at his daughter's take charge attitude. "Well then I'll give it a try but there's an awful lot that has to be worked out before we could even start to patch things up, honey. I won't lie to you, it's a long shot."

"I know, but it's still a shot, right dad? That's the way mom and I see it."

"Yeah, it's still a shot."

"Thank you, dad," Ashley said as she put her arms around him. "When would you guys start ... the marriage counseling thing, I mean?"

"I'm not sure, honey. I don't even have a therapist yet. My boss is going to get me some recommendations, but the sooner the better."

They talked for just a little while longer then Harrison left before Laura came back down.

His boss came up with three recommendations. Harrison checked them out on the Internet, and after two days of research, called his selection to see if they would take his case.

Theresa was the doctor's personal assistant. She answered the phone in a pleasant voice. "Doctor Wexler's office, how may I help you?"

The conversation took about twenty minutes. After Harrison explained about his wife's affair, Theresa asked several pertinent questions and took notes of the answers.

She wanted to know if both parties were intent on reconciling. Harrison told her his wife was almost desperate for it, but clarified his own reluctance. That prompted a new series of questions; was he involved with anyone else, did he still love his wife, was he being shamed into therapy by someone else or was it his decision alone? Then she asked what other family members were involved, and of course Harrison told her of Ashley.

At the end of the conversation Theresa told him she would confer with the doctor and call him back later the next day, but she was pretty confident the doctor would take their case.

The following afternoon it was Doctor, Jane Wexler who called to confirm his wish for counseling. "Mr. Corbett, the simple fact that you have called requesting therapy tells me you wish to stay in the marriage; tell me, what is it you're hoping to achieve with counselling?"