Chapter 5: Relapse

Five days later, Cliff was doing the second shift, 2 p.m. to 10 p.m., his favorite. It meant that he had his parents' house to himself all morning. He could get out the Stratocaster, hook it up to the amp and just play for the heck of it. He knew he had improved vastly since high school and he had to admit to himself that he loved to play. This morning he had tried his hands on a few soli by Clapton, way back in time from his years with The Cream. Okay, he would never be confused with The Slowhand, but he had liked some of what came out. After Kylie had dumped him, he had sometimes jammed with semi-pros in a blues club near the college, and he knew that he could hold his own on that level.

Now he sat in his cruiser waiting, even hoping for something to happen. However, on this afternoon nobody felt the need to exceed the speed limits and even the few known drunks kept their peace. This being a Thursday, most drinkers had no money left anyway. That would change on Friday when the workers got their pay. Anyway, Cliff decided to swing by Lorimer's Fine Liquors. It was better than just sitting on his butt.

He drove slowly, keeping his eyes open for anything irregular. Cliff was still conscientious after two years on the force, trying to give the best protection for the people who paid his salary. If he had not he would have never seen Kylie McAdam sitting on a bench in the small park off Peak Drive. That would have been unsuspicious. The fact that she was sitting and talking to Tammy Atwater, Clearwater's one and only professional prostitute, made it remarkable though. Without slowing down Cliff made a turn into High Street followed by a quick turn into Birch Road. A stand of hazelnut bushes shielded the cruiser from view, and Cliff worked his way through the undergrowth until he could see Kylie on her bench.

She was looking toward Peak Drive, and she was impatient and nervous. Cliff had watched her for almost five minutes when she suddenly straightened up. Tammy was approaching. She was coming right from the liquor store and carrying a brown paper sack.

Cliff knew that Kylie was coming off alcoholism and he knew how much a relapse would hurt her parents. He decided to treat this unofficially. Twenty long steps brought him behind the bench where Kylie sat and Tammy gaped at him just as she was handing the paper bag to Kylie.

"Tammy, I'm sure you're not a licensed liquor reseller," he said with meaning. "You know, we leave you pretty much alone but if you expand your business to peddling hooch..."

He did not continue and Tammy did not need to hear the end of the sentence to understand. She tried to take back the bottle, but Cliff shook his head.

"Tammy, beat it," he said softly.

He always tried to speak softly as he had been taught in Trooper School. It was the best way to de-escalate situations and to avoid stand-offs. He spoke softly to Kylie too.

"Give me the bottle, Kylie. Please."

She looked up at him pleadingly. "Cliff, please, just a little sip. I need it. Only today, please?"

"Kylie, you know I can't. What's with you? I thought you quit?"

"I did. I do. But not today."

Suddenly, Cliff remembered and he thought he understood. "You're mother's results came back?" he asked softly.

Her hands clenching and unclenching, her body rocking softly, Kylie nodded.

"That bad?" he asked.

He knew from Janet that Mabel McAdam would receive the results from the pathologist that day after the removal of the newest growth. He felt a wave of sympathy for Kylie in spite of everything.

She just shrugged. "I don't know," she whispered hoarsely.

"What do you mean, you don't know?"

"I haven't been home yet. I can't. What if it's bad? I can't lose my mom again. I just got her back."

"So you don't know and you think you need a drink before you can find out?"

She looked up, and he saw that she was crying. "Go ahead, say it! I'm worthless. Don't think I don't know it."

"Kylie, say the results are bad. Won't your mom need you sober then and able to help her and your father? What do you think they will feel if you show up drunk senseless on top of a bad prognosis? What will they feel if your father has to pick you up from the arrest cell? Don't you think they have enough on their plate already? I thought you stayed here to help your mom."

Kylie looked at him, undecided.

"And what if the results are good? What if they are already celebrating? You want to miss that? You want to spoil that happiness by showing up as a drunk slob? Their only daughter who cannot even stay sober on a day like that?"

He thought he had got through to her.

"Kylie, take that bottle now and look at it. This bottle stands between you and your parents. Do you need a drink that badly that you'll rather lose your mother again?"

In a sudden impulse, she lifted the bottle and threw it against the nearest tree. It was a Vodka bottle and made from sturdy glass. It did not break. Cliff smiled.

"Don't make me arrest you for littering. Pick it up now, open it, and pour that poison out. Then put the bottle in the waste bin over there."

Slowly, Kylie rose and bent to pick up the Vodka bottle. Heaving a great big breath she unscrewed the cap and upended the bottle, watching the clear liquid splatter on the soft soil. When the bottle was empty she walked over to the waste basket on shaky legs and dropped the bottle. Cliff nodded.

"See, you can do it. You still love your parents more than that booze. That's a good sign. Come now, I'll drive you home."

All her energy sapped, she following him meekly. When she saw the cruiser behind the nut bushes she looked at him accusingly. "You sneaked up on me."

He gave her a level look. "I wasn't sure what to expect when I saw you with Tammy."

Biting her lips, her face scarlet, she looked to the ground. "Of course, I forgot. I'm a whore in your eyes."

Cliff shook his head. God, was she messed up! "I was more more thinking along the lines of pills or some blow. Jesus, Kylie, I thought you were getting therapy. Doesn't that work at all?"

If possible, her blush deepened. "Oh!" she whispered.

She sat in the cruiser and did not say another word until Cliff drove up at her parents' house. As soon as Cliff stopped the car Kylie's father came out of the house.

"Cliff, what happened?"

"Found her in the park. She was having another dizzy spell I guess. Any news from Missoula?"

The worry disappeared from James McAdam's face, and he beamed a smile at Cliff. "You bet. The lesion was benign. No metastases, no signs of malign growth. All the tumor markers are still down."

"God, that's a relief," Cliff exhaled. "Where is she?"

"Inside. She had a little break down, plus we were worried when Kylie did not come home. Kylie?"

Kylie was still sitting in the cruiser sobbing helplessly. Cliff and her father pulled her up from the passenger seat and she just slumped against her father's chest. James McAdam shrugged helplessly.

"Let's get her in. Cliff, will you come in? I'm sure Mabel will love to see you."

Torn between his desire to distance himself from Kylie and his affection for Mabel McAdam, Cliff followed father and daughter inside. Mabel was lying on the big sofa in their living room, and she looked at Cliff and Kylie worriedly.

"I found Kylie in the park off Peak Drive. She had another dizzy spell," Cliff explained. "Mr. McAdam just told me. I'm so happy, Mrs. McAdam. This must be a huge relief."

"It is, Cliff. I really did not believe in a good ending anymore." She looked at her daughter. "That dizzy spell, should we go to the hospital again?"

Cliff saw how Kylie straightened her back. Her voice was scratchy but she spoke clearly.

"Cliff is covering for me. I didn't have a dizzy spell. I had a relapse. Cliff caught me literally with my hands on a Vodka bottle. He stepped in or I would be a drunk mess by now. I was afraid of coming home and I failed."

"Oh my God, Kylie! We thought you were over that."

"I'm not. Cliff talked me out of it, but that was pure luck. Dad, I think I need to check into a real rehab clinic. This half-assed outpatient stuff doesn't work."

James McAdam nodded gravely. "We'll need to find something for you."

Kylie turned to Cliff. "Thanks for saving me again and thanks for trying to cover for me. I know you meant well but lies won't help me in the long run. I need to face my addiction. I owe you for setting my head straight in the park. I can't believe you're doing this for me instead of just watching the train wreck for kicks."

He shook his head. "I think you're doing the right thing, Kylie. You can overcome this. I think you showed it today."