Chapter 1

Weddings are supposed to be joyful occasions, so why did I feel like I was Banquo's ghost causing alarm to all and sundry who saw me?

Actually that's more in the way of a rhetorical question, I knew fine well why I was seated at the back of the reception ignored by most and receiving little but hostile looks from the grooms' family. The answer was simple, I was his father and they couldn't think of a good reason to keep me away, I do suspect however that they had given it serious consideration. The main reason I was there was sitting next to Peter my son, it was his bride Joanna whose parents I was still good friends with despite everything that my ex-wife and her subservient docile new(ish) husband could do to prevent. I guess they figured upsetting Joanna was out of the question so had acceded to her request that I be invited, though ensured I was tucked away out of sight, though definitely not out of mind.

I had at least forced them to recognise my presence just after the ceremony itself when I went forward to congratulate the happy couple getting a hug and kiss from Joanna who along with her sister thought of me as an uncle and a cold hostile thank you and handshake from Peter who clearly wished the ground would up and swallow me. As for his mother and her new partner Neville, well they literally turned their backs on me and shunned me which made them look a trifle petulant and petty much to my amusement, though admittedly no one else's.

After the reception things quietened down until the evening disco could get started and I simply wandered around drink in hand taking in the beautiful grounds of the castle they'd hired to be wed in. It wasn't too long before I was accosted by Angela my ex-wife's sister...

"I don't know how you even have the nerve to be here after all you did!" She accused me.

"After all I did?" I enquired mildly.

"Running off with that tart and leaving Tracey alone to cope with three kids and no upkeep!" She stormed.

"Oh is that the story now?" I replied. "I guess it's better than the one where I beat her up I suppose."

"You beat her up too?"

"No, no more than I ran off with a tart." I replied. "Nor did I steal from the kid's accounts, embezzle from work or even get caught in bed with your mother; I don't however think that last one was Tracey, it was probably one of the interchangeable cousins making mischief. However all have been posted on facebook as reasons for me being an utter shit, you should read it at times, it's quite educational."

"Always the excuses Jonathan!" She accused.

"I've no need for excuses." I replied. "Nor have I made any, now if you'll excuse me I have a landscape to observe, hopefully in peace and quiet."

I walked off leaving her sputtering in anger at my retreating back. It's not that I dislike Angela, just that Tracey has always maintained that I was responsible for breaking the marriage rather than the guy she was now married too and I always hold my peace when the subject comes up as I have no need to be involved in that level of sheer hate.

As it was, my peaceful sojourn was interrupted again by my ex brother in law who was clearly three sheets to the wind already and simply spoiling for a fight.

I have a bone to pick with you!" He slurred.

"No you don't Brian, now back off before you make an utter fool of yourself." I replied realising that I had an audience as a couple of bridesmaids, one of them Alice, Joanna's sister were having a crafty cigarette in the arbour near where I stood.

"No one hurts my little sister you bastard!" He screamed before launching a fist at my face only to fail to connect as I simply leaned back and watched him over balance and sprawl on the grass staining his suit in the process.

"Why don't you ask your sister just what it was she was doing that Friday when everyone says I walked out and who she was doing it enthusiastically with?" I said loud enough for the bridesmaids to hear before walking off leaving him cursing and struggling to get up off the ground.

I wandered back to the reception area figuring that there was safety in numbers and that the silliness of my ex's family would be more muted if there were more witnesses to it. I did start chatting to Joanna's Mum Irene and her Dad Bill congratulating Irene on her dress and him on the father of the bride speech which had raised a good few chuckles as well as made Joanna blush a little, though nothing too embarrassing.

"Still 'Mr Popular' I see?" Said Irene, gazing out at the hostile gazes from my ex's family.

"Oh yes, but I expected it, Tracey has to save face after all and knows what her family will think if the truth ever comes out." I replied.

"Truth Jonathan?" Asked Bill.

"One day Bill, but here's not the time or place." I replied.

"Figured there had to be more to it than the ever changing story that came out." He chuckled.

"Yes ... well it's the tribal gang culture that her family is wrapped up in where an insult to one is an insult to all, even if the insult is invented." I replied. "Uh oh."

Tracey herself was now stalking across the area towards me daggers in her eyes.

"How dare you assault Brian during your son's wedding!" She stormed.

"I didn't and I have witnesses." I replied calmly. "Brian's drunk and lying ... a family trait as far as I can tell."

"Why you..." She spluttered as I waved to one of the bridesmaids I'd saw earlier.

"Hi Alice would you tell Tracey here what you saw by the arbour please?" I asked when she came over.

"I saw your brother take a swing at Uncle Jonathan." She said. "Drunken fool missed too."

"I suggest you have a word with Brian about telling porkies." I replied to Tracey. "Thanks Alice."

I could swear I saw Tracey contemplating calling Alice a liar to her face despite the fact I was standing with her parents and I'm pretty sure Bill and Irene thought the same as their faces showed.

"I'll have a word." She finally grated out.

"Just call a truce till the receptions over and I'm gone Tracey." I said. "I won't be that much longer anyway, I have a train to catch and a taxi booked."

Tracey minced off without even saying a word to Bill, Alice or Irene.

"Sorry about that, I really didn't want anyone involved with my problems." I said into the silence.

"Christ Jonathan, what kind of family has my daughter married into?" Said Irene.

"She'll be fine; they don't take their issues out on women, just their men." I replied.

"Hope you're right Jonathan, I really do, I mean I've heard tales, but..." She said.

"It's mostly me." I replied. "I'm a thorn in their side as they suspect that something isn't quite right with Tracey's little stories, but have to save face to the world and me being here is just rubbing their noses in it."

"I'll go out with you when the taxi arrives Jonathan ... just in case." Said Bill.

"Thanks Bill, appreciate that, I had planned on slipping out the back way."

"Keep in touch and tell us the whole story." Irene said as she wrote down her mobile number and I got Alice's too as well as her facebook name.

There was no more trouble after that though I was aware of hostile eyes observing me until I got a text from the taxi company that my cab was waiting and Bill escorted me out too it, much to the chagrin of the 'cousins' who were waiting at the exit.

I never saw Bill again as the next visit I made up north was to his funeral, he'd died from a massive heart attack at work, poor guy. I gave my condolences to Irene, Alice and Joanna and after the ceremony found myself making small talk with Joanna despite Peter lurking in the background giving me hostiles.

"So how's married life treating you?" I asked.

"It's good ... loving it" She replied with a slight smile.

"Any plans for a family?" I replied.

"Not you as well Uncle Jonathan." She sighed. "We're holding off till Peter has finished his apprenticeship and trainee period, then going for it ... so to speak."

"I await the results with anticipation." I replied.

"I never did thank you for being so diplomatic at the wedding." She said quietly.

"I really didn't want to spoil your big day." I replied. "So thought I'd best get out before alcohol affected good sense."

"Thanks anyway, they really do get riled up when your name is mentioned, although they no longer talk about you when I'm around, or rather Tracey doesn't as I can do this..." She said raising a single eyebrow archly. "Because she knows that I know what really happened and will say something if she doesn't shut up and she doesn't want Peter to know either."

"A Mexican standoff?" I replied.

"Yep, she doesn't go on about you and I don't tell Peter the truth ... or your version of it anyway." Joanna admitted. "I suspect most of the family know something isn't quite right, but can't bring themselves to face it."

"Well don't cause yourself problems over my troubles." I replied. "Just enjoy being married to my son who's a good lad despite his mother."

"I won't Uncle Jonathan, but thanks anyway." She said as she gave me a peck on the cheek and moved on to talk to Alice.

I heard very little other than the odd thing on facebook for the next two years, Irene had taken Bill's death badly and was still in mourning to a certain extent, I did phone her occasionally when work allowed, though frequently I was too busy and out of the country. I did learn Alice had married and was doing well and Joanna ... well it was as if a wall of silence had come down other than vague platitudes on her and Peter's general wellbeing.

So it came as a surprise when between jobs that I got a text from Joanna asking me to call her.

"Hi Joanna, how's things?" I asked when I got through.

"Hi Uncle Jonathan, things are ok, but I need to ask you a favour ... a big favour."

"Ask away." I replied.

"I'm not comfortable doing this over the phone, so could we meet up?"

"Er sure ... where?"

I was given the address of a pub/restaurant somewhere in the wilds of Yorkshire near Keighley and asked to get there for Friday evening and to bring a bag for the weekend as Joanna had booked me a room for some reason, which wasn't particularly convenient, but Joanna did ask nicely, almost to the point of begging.

Friday came and I arrived at my destination noting that it was attached to one of those anonymous travel lodges that dot the UK countryside on the main roads. I did check with them that they had my booking as whatever it was that Joanna wanted to discuss looked like taking a lot longer than I expected. I had to admit I was worried though, mostly to do with Peter being ill or somesuch...

I spotted Joanna when I went into the pub part of the restaurant still looking as lovely as the day I'd last seen her. She spotted me at the same time, smiled and waved me over.

"Hi Uncle Jonathan, thanks for coming and sorry about all the cloak and dagger stuff." She started.

"No problem, it's always lovely to see you. How's Peter and your family?" I replied.

"They're all fine, though it's to do with Peter that I asked to speak to you." She said.

"He's ok?"

"Yes, except we're having problems conceiving, although he doesn't know that the problem is him." Joanna said quietly her cheeks glowing a rosy red. "I've been trying for a couple of years now to have a baby sort of unbeknownst to him and had myself checked out, I'm fine, there's nothing wrong with me, but I haven't caught yet, despite making sure he had me at the most opportune times. I did get a sample from him ... um carefully and had it tested, he's got a large percentage of damaged and sterile sperm, almost 98%. Now he's told me he'd like to try starting a family and I said I'd love too."

"Oh hell, Peter did have glandular fever when he sort of hit puberty." I replied. "We were told it might affect his fertility, though it was an outside chance."

"Yes ... well that's where I need to ask a favour, I don't want Peter to know he's sterile, it would cause ... problems for him in the family and his ego is ... fragile."

"So you can't adopt?" I replied sort of seeing where this was going.

"No. I need a ... donor, someone to provide me with a ... genetic sample to fertilise me and as Peter has no brothers and I wouldn't dare ask one anyway ... that leaves you as the closest male that I can ask." She said her cheeks now flaming red with extreme embarrassment.

"Jesus have you any idea of the hell that would break loose if Peter or the family found out?" I said aghast.

"Yes Uncle Jonathan I have." She replied. "But I love my husband and don't want him to become a laughing stock in the family."

"Ok." I replied. "I presume you have a way and means to ... er ... sort this?"

"Yes, we have the room booked here and I chose today as this weekend leads up to my ovulation so there's a pretty good chance I'll conceive." She said. "Everything I need is in my bag; I just need you to provide the ... material."

"Won't Peter miss you?" I asked.

"He thinks I'm away with my Mum and Sister on a healing retreat ... so no phones." She replied.

"And your Mum and sister?"

"They know and will cover, it was their idea..." She admitted with a wry smile.

"Hope it works." I replied. "Because next week I'm off to Dubai for six months as a project manager on one of those huge buildings they keep wanting to put up."

"So ... when do you want to start?" She asked tentatively.

"No time like now, let's go to the room and you can explain what you need doing." I replied.

The room was a plain and simple, twin single beds with an attached bathroom, no frills save a single tv. Joanna went in and sat on one of the beds kicking her sandals off, I sat on the other.

"I need you to provide me with a sample in this beaker." She said opening her bag and putting an assortment of bits onto the bed. "I then use the syringe to suck it up and inject myself and then I have to try and give myself an orgasm..." She added going almost scarlet faced.