Chapter 5

After their talk, Topher and Allegra walked along the edge of the road that ran through the heart of Central Park, speaking quietly about nothing in particular. She tucked herself under his arm and held one one of his hands in both of hers, pressing close.

Topher had never been comfortable with small talk, having forced himself to learn it along with all the other skills needed to give him blend. Responding to it had come with time, but initiating it had been trickier. The danger was always in keeping what was said interesting enough without wandering into matters of real import. Tonight, it flowed naturally like it had with his friends in high school - when nothing had been too important to talk about.

He liked this better. His high school friends didn't stop the conversation every few sentences to kiss him like Allegra did. As they walked further into the park, the kisses got closer together and the sentences fewer and farther between. They ended up sitting on a bench not talking at all.

Topher wanted to take Allegra home with him that night, but when he leaned in to suggest it, she shook her head. "Not yet ... please." The last part made it sound like it was his decision to make, that she would come if he insisted, but he didn't insist. Their connection seemed so powerful and vibrant, but there was a fragility to it too. She wanted him to take charge, but not yet. He drew her close against his chest and kissed her forehead. She rewarded him with a smile like the sun coming out from behind a cloud.

He took her chin between finger and thumb. "So, what are the fourth and fifth dates for? I don't mind following the schedule, but I feel like we've come so far already ... What do you want out of them?"

Allegra laid a fist on her own chest. "They're for here. In my head, I believe I can trust you and I want to move forward, but I could still panic. I want to get used to thinking of you as the man I'm giving myself to. I want to know that's who you are and look forward to what come next ... for a little while longer." She placed a soft, chaste kiss on his lips. "I've never gotten past this third date with anyone before. I didn't have the rules with Will. He ... chose me and I went like it was what I was supposed to do. Joe I just stumbled across. I didn't know what I wanted yet when I found him."

She touched his lips. "It's just a little while longer. Please, Topher..." Her eyes pleaded more strongly than her voice.

He kissed her and stroked her hair. "So, two more dates to get comfortable..."

She grinned and nodded. "And then, I'm yours."

When Allegra said that word, it made Topher's heart quicken. "Mine ... completely?"

Allegra nodded and rested her head on his shoulder again. "Completely."

Joe sat across from Topher, considering him carefully. Allegra had gone to bed and Luiza made herself scarce at Joe's request. "You wanted to talk to me?"

Topher nodded. He realized he was leaning forward, hands clasped like a supplicant at an altar and forced himself to sit back. He felt like there were a million things he wanted to say and wanted to ask. He needed to narrow them down, to focus and not sound like a crazy person. Why had he come to Joe, Allegra's ex-boyfriend and one of her best friends? The question made the answer seem obvious.

"I'm a consultant. Companies bring me in when they want to do something well that they don't have the expertise to do it themselves. Most of what they ask me to do, I've done at least once before." He took a deep breath. "You've ... had the kind of relationship Allegra wants ... with Allegra. I really like her, but I have no experience with anything like this. I don't know the rules. I don't know her ... not beyond maybe twenty hours together and half of that spent talking about document processing. I was hoping you would ... consult."

Joe sighed and sat back. "I would love to be your expert consultant, but I can't ... at least, not the way you're asking me to. You had your third date tonight. Right?"

Topher nodded. Joe said, "So, you know she's unique. You're asking for the rules and there are any number of people who've written down rules for relationships with a voluntary power imbalance. But none of them are going to apply here because Allegra isn't like anybody else. And I could tell you what worked for us when we were together, but when? The things that worked at the beginning didn't work in the middle and nothing worked at the end. That's why it ended. And, she's changed as a person since then. She has a job. She takes it seriously. She handles people much better than she used to. So, even my best information is two years out of date."

He took a deep breath. "And last of all, you're a pretty unique person yourself. I think you and I could be friends, but not because we have so much in common. So, what worked for me and her won't work for you and her."

"So, I'm basically flying blind?" Topher gave a mirthless chuckle.

"No. You've got a much better consultant than me. You've got Allegra. She's choosing you. Talk to her. Ask her what she wants. She'll tell you until you're blushing so hard, your head catches fire. Trust me. I blushed like an Irishman and people my color aren't supposed to do that."

"Right. I guess that's the rule. Ask questions. Listen to her. Respect her limits." said Topher. "I guess I don't know any more than I did when I got here, but I somehow feel better about it."

"Don't worry," said Joe. "Allegra has good sense about what she wants and Luisa agreed you're a good choice. Those are two hard woman to impress."

Topher almost thanked him and left, but he had to ask. "Did you agree I was a good choice."

Joe shook his head. "The first time Allegra brought somebody home for us to meet, I realized I had to recuse myself. She was my lover and she's been like a sister to me since. No man was ever going to be good enough for her if I had to pick him."

By the time he arrived outside Allegra's apartment building the next morning, Topher had texted her several times, little questions about what she was bringing and if she was planning to eat breakfast before they got on the road. Mostly, they were really to let her know his progress and that he was still coming. That bit of advice had been Joe's - that such contact would keep her from "frittering" until he got there.

As a side benefit, she was outside waiting for him when he pulled up. Topher liked her roommates well enough. He just didn't particularly want to see anyone but Allegra just now.

She stood on the sidewalk flanked by a pair of rolling suitcases. In a light cotton dress with wide diagonal green and white stripes with her blonde hair down around her shoulders, she looked younger and happier than Topher had seen her before. Her face lit up as he pulled the rental car to the curb and got out to stow her luggage.

She even gave a little bounce as she came up close to kiss Topher on the cheek. "Ready to go?"

Topher nodded and hugged her close, her lithe form fitting so nicely against his own. And then they were in the car and off on their adventure.

Of course, their adventure started with a slow crawl along the surface streets of Queens and lower Manhattan. Allegra didn't say much until they were pulling out of the Holland Tunnel and onto the open road.

"We're checking into the hotel before we go anywhere. Right?" she asked. When Topher nodded, she rolled down the window so that the wind blew through her hair, sending it dancing around her head. Topher grinned and rolled down his own window to allow a good cross-breeze.

Allegra slid on a pair of dark sunglasses, her smile twice as wide as Topher had ever seen it. With the wind lifting her hair, he got a good look at the choker she wore around her neck. It was a simple, black band with an antique cameo showing a woman's profile in silhouette attached in the hollow of her throat. It seemed like an odd choice to wear with the light sundress, but Topher liked it.

"I love New York City, but it makes me claustrophobic sometimes," Allegra drew an elastic hair band out of her purse and tucked as much hair away as she could, but it still looked wild and untamed. "I get outside the city and it's like the walls fall away for a while."

Topher found himself grinning, not because he could relate in any way, but because he loved seeing Allegra so free and happy. He loved seeing her with her hair joyously messed up like she'd just rolled out of bed.

He knew in that moment that he was doomed to fall in love with her, had fallen in love with her already, and couldn't feel anything but joy at the thought. He'd always expected to fall in love one day, but it had been a long time coming. Maybe it had to wait this long for him to get past the vision of a "normal" relationship.

As they drove south, Allegra talked about her life, about her friends in New York and the ones back in Indiana. The narrative was happy and funny, poignant in places. But, there was a subtext of aching loneliness and uncertainty, held back by a thin line of people special enough to find their way into her life.

Topher listened and asked questions, sensing that he was being given a rare gift, that she didn't talk this way to many people. As they approached the entrance for the Atlantic City Expressway, her eyes widened. "Oh, God. I've talked about myself the whole trip. Is that completely self-absorbed or what?"

Topher shook his head. "I've been egging you on."

"I should be asking you about your life, though." Allegra looked uncertain. "I'm supposed to..."

Topher raised a single finger for silence. "I've spent a lot of time learning 'supposed tos' in order to blend in. Last night, you told me what you needed to be happy in a relationship and it got me thinking that I've never put what I want into words so clearly and it's probably caused me and the people around me a lot of unhappiness." He lowered his hand. "I need someone that I can forget about 'supposed to' when it's just the two of us. Driving along the open road, listening to you talk about your life, this is the happiest I can remember being in a long time."

Allegra smiled. "I'm ridiculously happy today."

Topher laughed, a sound so relaxed he almost didn't recognize it as coming from himself. "Then that's all that matters. If we're both happy, let's not worry about what it looks like to our internal censors."

Topher sat in the main room of his suite looking out the window at the marshlands north of the city. He'd changed into one of his good suits - a black one with almost-invisible pinstripes over a red shirt open at the neck. He'd been told that it looked kind of diabolical and that matched his mood. He was feeling delightfully wicked.

Allegra emerged from her room so quietly she was almost right behind Topher before he spotted her reflection in the glass. He twisted to look at her and let out a low whistle. "Look at you."

She grinned and did as he asked, looking down at herself and brushing away some invisible lint from the front of her dress, which was gold and sequined and glittered in the overhead light. Her high heels were the same color. and equally shiny.

In every way but one, she was transformed. Her hair still had the same tousled effect she'd gotten on the drive down, but it was more artfully done. She'd given herself a subtly smoky eye and redone her makeup in slightly brighter, warmer colors.

Only the collar remained from her previous outfit, a simple black band with no cameo.

Allegra watched his face carefully as he looked her over and finally said. "If it's too much, I can change. I just..."

"Does it make you happy?" Topher asked.

Allegra nodded, any hint of concern fading into a sultry smile. "It does. Sometimes, I enjoy feeling that people want me and can't have."

That got a low, happy chuckle. "You'll certainly have that tonight. You're beautiful."

"It's not too slutty. Is it?" Her eyes sought his approval.

Topher shook his head, considering her carefully. "No -- a little more makeup, a little more hair, a little more skin, it would be too much. You're ... glamorous."

Allegra gave a decidedly unglamorous little bounce and hugged Topher fiercely. He kissed her and she kissed him back, but when his hand traced down from her cheek to her neck, she gave his hand a playful slap. "No touching the collar yet."

Topher grinned. "There's something special about the collar?"

"There's something special about the collar." Allegra took the hand she'd slapped between both of hers and kissed the end of his middle finger... "I'll tell you about it after the fight."

The walk across the casino floor from the hotel tower to the boxing theatre seemed like one long illustration of their conversation. Topher hadn't realized before that night that someone being attractive enough to turn heads could be literally true. Men and women stopped to watch them walk by, some with undisguised desire and envy on their faces. He couldn't help the uncharitable thought that any number of the woman they passed were perfect examples of "too much makeup, too much hair, too much skin" and he could almost see them watching Allegra and thinking, "That's what I was going for."

Their seats were three rows back from the ring and put them around a glamorous crowd. Topher recognized a couple of celebrities as celebrities, though he couldn't put names to the faces. One of them whispered to her partner, looking right at Allegra as if to ask who she was.