Chapter 2

"Barbara, what's going on?"

"God I hate doing this," she said, obviously in some mental anguish. "I'm about to lose a very good friend, but I can't help it," she said still not being able to look me in the eye.

"What, Barbara; who is the friend you're going to lose, Cora?"

Just then the bar maid came over to take our order; it was an untimely interruption and I had to keep myself from being rude just to get rid of her. As soon as she turned her back to leave I pounced. "Okay, Barbara, tell me; what the hell is going on?"

She sighed as if she was about to face a firing squad. "A couple months ago Cora called me all upset over you being born in Michigan instead of Chicago like she thought you were. She said she redid your chart and found you weren't the honest person she thought you were. She had been lied to in an early relationship, Steve; it hurt her very badly, so honesty is very important to her now."

"Barbara, I have never lied to her," I said interrupting.

"I know, Steve, and I told her that but it really bothered her. We've talked about it a few times since then, and try as she has, she just can't let go of it. It's been extremely difficult for her because she does love you but she just can't help believing the chart; according to her interpretation it said one day she's going to wake up and find you've lied to her about something that will cause her whole world to come crashing down on her."

About that time the barmaid came back with my beer and put Barbara's lemonade down in front of her. "Your orders will be up in a few minutes," she informed us before leaving again.

"Barbara, that's ridiculous. I'm really shocked to find out Cora takes all this astrology stuff so seriously, I thought it was more of a hobby."

"Oh no, she believes in it wholeheartedly," she said. "She kept it from you because she knew how you felt but she never lost her faith in the stars."

"Faith in the stars," I repeated cynically shaking my head. "Can't you tell her she's interpreting it wrong?"

"I tried but she has a mind of her own, Steve. She's very good at constructing and reading charts and she knows it."

God, this was all so mind numbing; I was getting more and more fretful by the minute.

"Has she said anything about children? We talked about a month ago; my business is doing pretty well and I told her I'd like to start a family. She wasn't quite as enthusiastic as I had hoped; now I understand why. Has she said anything to you?"

"Oh yeah, she was really torn on having children after doing your chart. She said she didn't think she could be a single parent."

"For crying out loud, this is crazy, Barbara, she's got us divorced already?" I said getting a little louder than I had intended.

Barbara's face changed, looking as if she was in torment.

"What?" I asked in fear. "Don't tell me she's filing for divorce!"

"No, I don't think so, but..."

"But what, Barbara; come on, tell me what the hell is going on in her mind, damn it."

"Steve, I don't know for sure, but ... well, we had a new guy join the club a couple months ago; his name is Mark Goodsom. Of course we all did his chart and started discussing it with him; we do that with everybody; anyway, we all started comparing his chart to our own and found that his and Cora's were a perfect match, I mean perfect; according to their charts they were born to be with each other."

I started feeling sick. Barbara was insinuating that Cora had already found another man; I had to excuse myself quickly as I got up and ran to the washroom. Tears were welling up in my eyes before I even got there. I immediately went into one of the stalls where I was sure I would vomit, but after a few minutes past, I couldn't, so I washed my face and returned to the table.

"Barbara, is she planning on leaving me?"

"Truthfully, Steve, I don't know; but what prompted this meeting was you telling me Cora was on her way over to the club," she looked me in the face then looked down again. "Steve, I haven't seen Cora for the last month," she said sadly, before hitting me with the punch line, "nor have I seen Mark."

God, never in my life had I felt the way I did at that moment. "You mean she's cheating on me?"

"I don't know," she quickly responded. "Honestly, but when you said she was coming over last night ... well, she never showed; neither did Mark."

I hadn't even noticed the barmaid as she set our food down in front of us. "Enjoy," she said before walking away.

I slumped down in my seat; I'd never felt so low or so defeated in my life. I wanted to burst out crying but was determined not to do it in front of Barbara and the whole bar.

"She didn't come home last night until after midnight; she said you and her got talking and she lost track of time," I said almost mumbling as if I was in a trance.

The woman who just destroyed me with the truth shook her head. "I'm sorry, Steve, but like I said, I haven't seen her in a month."

I thought back to Thursday night and realized what was different, her hair; it was done differently than when she left; I also remembered she smelled different, like she had just showered and used a different brand of soap. I didn't think anything of it at the time but now it was all falling into place.

"I'm sorry, Barbara, I don't mean to leave you like this but I can't stay; if you do see or talk to Cora, please don't tell her about our meeting," I said standing abruptly and throwing thirty bucks on the table. I hurried out and across the street to my car; I drove around to the back of the office building where no one would see me and cried ... cried harder than I could remember ever crying before, even as a child.

I had no idea how long I sat there but when I finally ran out of tears I realized I had no idea what to do. She was the most important person in my life; I'd take a bullet for her. How could she not see WE were reality, SHE and I, not that stupid astrology crap; that was nothing but fantasy? I pounded my fist against door panel in frustration. "I can't lose her," I told myself out loud, "She's my life, I can't ... I just can't lose her!"

I was physically and emotionally drained. My chest rose and fell as I tried to breathe. I could feel my heart pounding so hard I thought it would explode. I needed to think. Rhetorically, I kept asking myself what am I going to do but it wasn't a rhetorical question, I really did need to figure out a plan of action.

I couldn't stay in the car all day, I needed someplace where I would be comfortable; some place I could block out everything else and consider my options. I started the car and headed for my studio.

As soon as I was inside I turned my cell phone off and wandered into my office in the back of the building; I was wishing I had some hard liquor but I never kept any there. I did have a coffee pot so I poured myself a cold cup and stuck in the microwave. That was better anyway, I thought, I needed a clear head. I put the, now hot cup of coffee, on the desk and literally collapsed into my chair. I still couldn't believe it; maybe it's not true. Maybe there's a perfectly innocent explanation ... but if that was the case why would she lie to me?

I guessed the first thing to do was find out if she was really cheating on me or not. If it was true it'd have to be on Thursday nights, it shouldn't be hard to find out for sure, but what then? I guessed I'd figure that out when the time came; first things first.

It didn't take me long to come up with a plan; hell, it was easy. I called Brad at work and asked if he could meet me for a drink. He was surprised to hear from me; in all the years we'd known one another I don't think I'd ever called him at his job.

I texted Cora telling her I'd be about an hour late, then met Brad after he got out of the office.

He noticed as soon as he sat down. "Steve, are you okay? What's the matter, man, you look like you've been crying."

I just came right out with it. "I think Cora is cheating on me."

"What; no way, you're wrong, Steve; there is no way; what the hell ever gave you that idea, anyway?"

"We've been having problems lately," I told him. I explained about her belief in astrology and the situation with my birthplace. He sat there and listened, sometimes shaking his head like he couldn't believe it any more than I could; then I told him what Barbara said and how Cora lied about where she was going for the last several Thursday nights.

"I just can't believe it, Steve," he said almost crying himself. "How can she believe in that hocus pocus and not see that you and her were made for each other?"

"I don't know, Brad, but she does."

"What are you going to do?"

"Well the first thing I have to do is find out if it's true. I've got to know if she's really cheating on me or not; after that I'm just not sure. I..." I was starting to break down again and fought hard to stay in control, "I don't want to lose her, Brad; I love that woman with all my heart."

"I know you do, buddy, I know you do."

"Okay," I said looking down and wiping my eyes dry again, "can you help me follow her Thursday night?"

"Ah, oh sure."

"Thanks," I said still fighting to manage my emotions, "I'll be behind you. She'd probably spot my car but I doubt if she'll recognize yours. I'll stay behind you and we'll stay on the phone just in case we get separated."

Brad was nodding his head but seemed a little apprehensive. "What are you going to do if we find out she is cheating, you're not planning anything I should know about, are you?"

"You mean like beating the crap out of this Goodsom guy?"

"Yeah, like that," he said a little anxiously.

"I sure thought about it, but no, I don't think it would do any good and I'd probably just wind up behind bars. No, I won't do anything that will land us in jail."

Brad seemed relieved and let out a little sigh. "Okay, I'll watch out the window; as soon as she leaves I'll jump in the car and fall in behind her; you'll what ... fall in behind me then?"

"Yeah," I said sadly. "I saw something in a movie once; at the time I thought it was clever but I never thought I'd have an occasion to use it."

"What's that?" Brad asked.

"It'll be just dark enough by the time she leaves that she'll turn her lights on, so I'm going to break the driver's side tail light lens out in her car. That'll make it easier to follow her. I also have a couple magnetic reflectors in the garage that I'll stick on her trunk."

"What if she sees them; she'll know something's up."

"She won't see them, I'll do it sometime just before she leaves; she'll have no reason to go behind her car before hopping in the driver's seat."

"Okay, man; sounds like you have everything figured out. Try to keep your head up between now and then, huh; I know she lied but I still can't believe she's cheating on you, maybe it's something else; something innocent."

"Brad, you have no idea how much I'm praying that you're right."

We finished our beers and went home. Cora was on the phone when I walked in but abruptly ended the conversation.

"Hi, honey," I said giving her a peck on the lips. "Who was that on the phone?"

"Oh just one of the new trainees from work," she said.

I glanced at my watch. "The bank's been closed for over an hour."

"I know, but he had a question and I guess just couldn't wait until tomorrow," she said.

"You let your trainees call you at home after hours? You should tell them this is our time; if they have questions they should ask you at work," I said forcefully. I didn't really believe the person on the phone was a trainee from the bank, I believed it had something to do with this Mark character. I didn't want to say that but I couldn't help showing I was pissed.

She didn't say anything in response; she just turned toward the stove and checked the roast she was cooking. "Dinner will be ready in a few minutes, why don't you go wash up," she said flatly.

I went up stars and wondered how I was going to deal with all of this for the next couple of days and not tip my hand. I was dying inside; little by little, piece by piece, moment by moment ... I was dying. I kept hoping my suspicions were wrong but more and more of the clues kept pointing to my worst fears.

For the next couple of days Cora was kind of quiet; normally I'd been trying to coax her out of her mood, but this time I just kept to myself as well. Thursday I stopped off at a hardware store on the way to a photo shoot. I had a couple items I needed for later.

As I got home I parked the car on the side of the street before pulling into my drive. I knew Cora would be in the kitchen and wouldn't see me but she would hear the car drive in. I walked up behind her vehicle and hit the red, plastic tail light lens with the small ballpeen hammer I bought; not enough to break the bulb, just enough to break the front of the lens so you could see the brightness of the light itself. Then I took out a couple of the reflectors I had taken from the garage before leaving for work and stuck them on the back of her trunk.

I stood back a little and admired my handy work; there'll be no problem following her tonight, that was for sure. As I turned to walk back to my car I saw Brad watching me from the window; he gave me a thumbs up.

We were both a little quiet again at supper; later, before leaving for her, "astrology club," Cora gave me a kiss ... I wondered if it would be the last one I ever got from her.

I watched out the window as she pulled out of our drive; I looked over and saw Brad was already in his car waiting for her. He let her get a little way down the street then pulled out behind her; I was walking out to my car as he pulled away.

My phone rang as I started the ignition.

"Are you there, Steve?"

"Yeah, I'm here; I'm one car behind you," I said as I pulled out. "Do you have her?"

"Oh yeah; between the job you did on her tail light and the reflectors, I couldn't lose her if I tried."

Just then the knot in my stomach got bigger as I watched them turn ahead of me. "Well that rules out Barbara's place," I said over the phone.

"Huh," was Brad's confused response.

"Barbara's place, where she's supposed to be going ... it's the other way."

"Oh," he said sadly.

We didn't have to follow her very far; the Brightside motel was only about ten minutes from our house. Brad and I watched as she pulled into their lot and went right into room one-fourteen. Brad pulled in but drove around to the back of the lot so his car wouldn't be noticed; I followed him.

"I'm really sorry, Steve," he said as we got out of our cars.

"Thanks," I said almost unable to speak. There didn't seem to be much question anymore; people don't have rendezvous in motel rooms to play tiddlywinks. Still, even with all the evidence I was facing, I still had just a glimmer of hope as I opened my trunk and took out the ten pound sledge hammer I bought earlier.

"Whoa!" Brad said getting excited when he saw it. "What are you planning to do with that?"

"Don't worry, it's not for them," I reassured him. "Have you ever watched one of those cop shows; they all have a big battering ram to knock doors in with. Well I don't have a big battering ram but I think this will do."

"Can't we just ask the clerk to give us a key?" he asked.

"He's not going to do that. Don't worry, I'll pay for the door. Here," I said reaching in the camera bag and giving a Nikon to him, "I've got it all set up, all you have to do is hit this button. I want as many pictures as you can take. If she wants a divorce at least I'll have the evidence to show I wasn't the bad guy."

"Okay," said Brad taking the camera. "We should probably give them a couple more minutes before we break in."

We both stood in silence by our cars for another ten minutes then started our march to the door of room one-fourteen.

"Ready?" I whispered. Brad nodded his head. "When the door opens you follow me in and start hitting that button on the camera."

"Will do," he whispered back.

I took a stance beside the door where I could get a good swing, and in a motion much like Paul Bunyan swinging his mighty ax, smashed the big hammer into the door right behind the doorknob. In a loud crash, the metal door swung open with an explosion of wooden splinters from the jam flying in every direction. The safety chain flew from its mooring and the top of the door unhinged falling partially inside the room.

I heard a blood curdling scream from Cora as I dashed into the room and saw my foe trying desperately to back his face away from my wife's naked pussy. Cora, having no idea of what was happening, was pushing at the top of his head in her panic; he got so twisted up in the bedding he lost his balance and fell off the side of the bed taking the top sheet with him. Cora lay there looking at me, stunned into silence with nothing available to preserve her modesty.

Brad was snapping away as I stood and stared at her naked body. It had been the source of my universe, now it was the source of the most horrible pain I'd ever experienced in my entire life. Suddenly it all became clear; up until that moment I had been planning a strategy for saving my marriage, for keeping the woman I loved; it was at that instant in time that I realized I no longer had a marriage; that I would walk away from the woman I loved. There was simply no way of ever living with the pain of what I saw in front of me.

I saw Cora's face fill with fear. I guessed she saw it in my eyes; I could feel my sadness turn to anger. My entire body was infected with it; every muscle, every nerve tightened in response; I took a deep breath trying to calm myself.

"This makes a lot of sense doesn't it, Cora," I said with contempt. "According to the fucking stars it was my honesty that was in question. You were so worried about me lying to you, but it was you who lied and schemed behind MY back; YOU who betrayed ME and made a mockery of our wedding vows."

I saw her hands starting to tremble; tears welled up in her eyes and were trickling down her flushed cheeks. I think she was just starting to realize the extent of her treachery, just starting to see what she had lost forever.

I felt fire in my eyes as I looked down at the man who would steal my wife. He sat on the floor cowering with the sheet still tangled around him; I looked back at her. "I see you're wearing your wedding rings so shit head here obviously knows you're married; so much for his integrity, huh."

"Steve," said Brad being unsure what I was going to do as I approached her.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt anybody." Cora looked confused as I took ahold of her hand; not sure of my intentions, she tried jerking it from my grip but I held it tight; she was stunned as I yanked her wedding rings from her finger. I tightly closed my fist around them; I could feel my face burning with fury; I must have looked like a wild man as I turned and headed toward the doorway.

"Wher ... wait ... where are you going? Steve, where are going with my rin ... Steve, wait ... please, my ... my rings?" she cried out in anguish.

"Come and find out," I yelled back. I walked out the broken door and laid the rings down on the sidewalk. A small group of people were milling around, curious I suppose, with what was going on. They watched as I gathered my rage into one powerful swing.

"Steve, NOOOO!" I heard Cora scream as I raised the hammer above my head then brought it down with all my strength, smashing the rings and sending shards of the cement below spraying out along with fragments of eighteen karat gold; I had no idea where the diamonds landed.

Standing in the doorway, her naked body in full view of the lingering bystanders, Cora slumped to the floor in despair. "My rings ... my rings," she sniveled.

"Now they're as smashed as my heart and neither of them will ever be the same," I cried out; I was in so much pain, I wanted her to feel some of it.

"I don't understand, Cora; how could you hurt me like this? All I ever did was love you more than life itself and look what you did; you crushed that love just like I crushed your fucking rings. I never thought you could be so cruel. Come on," I said to Brad, "let's go and leave the lovers alone."

Just then a young, pimply faced motel manager came rushing around the corner of the building but stopped dead in his tracks when he saw me with the sledge hammer. He looked at the door hanging from only the bottom hinge. The look in his eyes was definitely one of fear.

"Don't worry," I told him, "I'm not going to hurt anybody." I pulled a business card from my wallet and handed it to him. "Here, just send me the bill for the door and the sidewalk."

Cora was still slumped in the doorway, naked. She held her face in her hands and bawled, paying no attention to the growing crowd of gawkers. I think she was in shock, or something pretty close to it. When Brad and I got back to our cars I took the camera from him and threw the sledge in the back seat.

"Are you going to be alright? Why don't you come home with me, don't go back to the house right now."

"Thanks, I really appreciate the offer but I need to be alone. I think..."

"That's just what you don't need right now, Steve; you've just gone through an extremely traumatic experience; you need people around you, people who care for you. Come on, come home with me."

I knew he was worried that I might do something to myself; to tell the truth, the thought had crossed my mind. In any event I wanted to be alone. "Thanks, Brad, but no; I'm going to stay at the studio for a few days."

I could see the worried look on his face as I got into my car but I'd never been so depressed in my life and I just didn't want anyone around me; I had just come to terms with the fact that I was going to live the rest of my life without the woman I loved and I wanted time to ... well, to wallow in my misery.

As I left the parking lot I took one last look at the woman who had made me so happy. She was still sitting naked in front of the doorway. At some point her shit-head lover had gotten dressed and was trying to get her back on her feet but she was flailing her arms at his legs and screaming something at him. I couldn't tell what it was. I hope she and the stars and her asshole, 'perfect match, ' boyfriend will be very happy together, I told myself sarcastically.

When I unlocked the front door to my studio and stepped inside everything looked different; oh, the lights, the cameras, stands, and all the other equipment was the same stuff I'd been using for years but somehow it had lost its importance, its stature in my life. What was it all for? True, I loved my work, I was very lucky that way, but it had been all for US; to build a life for US, Cora, me and our kids; my family. But there was no family anymore, there wasn't even an US anymore; just me. Was it still worth all the time and trouble; was it still worth all the ups and downs of running my own business?

I turned back around and left again; I locked the door and started to walk; I had no destination in mind, I just needed to clear my head. It was time to reevaluate my life.