Chapter 6

"What is wrong with me?" she thought. Then thinking about Cricket's gun, she mumbled, "Somebody can get really hurt."

She also didn't know why she was getting such a thrill over having sex with Shawn right after being with Cricket. The perverseness of it almost scared her, and by the time she got on the bus, she decided that maybe she really should see Dr. Jameson and made an appointment.

Sheryl thought about seeing another doctor, but as before, she found them to be either too expensive or too far, and as she knocked on his door, she hoped that she wouldn't have to sit through any lectures about waiting so long before making another appointment with him.

She didn't have any need to worry, however. Doctor Jameson met her with only a smile and none of the accusations that she'd expected.

"So, what has been going on with you since the last time we talked?"

Sheryl thought a moment before answering him. Now that she was sitting in his office, she didn't know exactly where to begin. On the one hand, she knew that all of her problems were her own fault, and as far as the sex? She thought, 'He's going to think I'm some kind of freak!'

William saw the way she hesitated, and since she already knew that she could talk freely with him, he could only guess that whatever she needed to say was probably very embarrassing to her.

"Remember, in this office you have nothing to be ashamed of. You can tell me anything."

'That's easy for you to say!' she thought.

Sheryl then wondered what sort of freakish things the doctor had done in his life that he'd be embarrassed about. She took a good look at the slightly overweight, balding man sitting across from her. Even though he was casually dressed, he still looked like some stuffy college professor. So much so, that she wouldn't have been surprised if someone told her that he was still a virgin and had never even seen a naked woman before!

The thought made her smile, and she decided that as long as she was going to tell him all about her sordid life, she was going to have some fun doing it! She remembered her slight victory over his stoic attitude the last time she was in his office.

William caught the slight smile, and though he didn't know the meaning behind it, he knew that whatever was holding her back she'd somehow overcome it.

"Well, since I'm sitting here, I suppose you can guess that I still hadn't made my decision about who I want to be with, Shawn or Cricket," she began.

William patiently nodded his head.

"You know, the whole thing's becoming so freaky that sometimes I scare myself over it."

"What do you mean by, 'sometimes you scare yourself'? In what way?"

'Okay, here I go, ' she thought, and swallowing hard, Sheryl looked up and said, "Dr. Jame ... I mean, William, the sex with Cricket has gotten so good that I just can't leave it alone. I know he's bad for me, but I just can't seem to help myself."

"And what about Shawn, how do you feel about him?"

"He's still the same. Don't get me wrong; I like being with Shawn. I like the way he treats me, and I like the way he touches me, too, but he still can't give me what Cricket gives me, and I get so tired of him hanging all over me all the time whenever we're together. He doesn't give me any space, and he's constantly in all my business."

"Have you ever thought about breaking it off with both of them? I mean, if you admit that one is bad for you and the other doesn't give you what you need, then perhaps it's time for you to try and find someone else who can better fulfill all of your needs."

He could tell just from the look on her face what she thought about that suggestion.

"You're not listening to me. I said I can't leave it alone. It's become like some sort of addiction or something."

"Well, in a way it is an addiction. So tell me, Sheryl, exactly what is it about Cricket that you can't seem to do without?"

The question took Sheryl by surprise. She never asked herself that before. First, she thought about his big dick. Then she thought about the way he physically treats her, and then she thought about the other ways he treated her.

"It's hard to explain. Maybe it's the macho way he does things, so unlike Shawn. I don't know. I really don't understand it."

"You keep bringing up a comparison with Shawn. Why do you think you do that?"

The question made Sheryl grin, and William quickly asked, "So what are you thinking about? Why did that question make you smile?"

It took a moment for Sheryl to get over the embarrassment of actually telling the doctor what she was thinking. Although she'd wondered what he'd say about it before, actually talking about it was different.

"Well," she slowly began. "I'm always comparing the two. Sometimes, when I'm with Cricket, I think about how Shawn does me and wish that Cricket can be more like him, and sometimes, when I'm with Shawn, I think about how I wish he'd do me a little more like Cricket, and... ?"

"Yes, and what?"

"Well, sometimes after I've been with Cricket, I get this certain thrill about thinking about Shawn doing me."

"What do you mean?"

Sheryl looked closely at Dr. Jameson's face. "Well, one time Shawn fucked me not long after Cricket did, and just the thought of him sliding into me through Cricket's cum set me off. I don't know why, but the idea of Shawn getting sloppy seconds really turned me on. You know what I mean?"

She was surprised that the expression on William's face hadn't changed, and suddenly asked, "Am I normal? I must sound like some sort of freak to you."

"No. No, not at all. You'd be surprised how many people there are who act out such fantasies, both men and women. There are many reasons why different people have them, also."

"Why do you think I do? I mean, I certainly don't want to disrespect Shawn, and I really don't want to hurt him, either."

"Well, does it ever thrill you to have sex with Cricket after having sex with Shawn?"

"No. Well at least, not in the same way. The one time that it did happen, I wasn't thinking about it the same way. With Cricket, it was more of a relief that I was finally getting satisfied in a way that Shawn couldn't do."

"It seems to me, Sheryl, that it is a matter of disrespecting Shawn. I think it stems from you being angry or resentful towards him for not being able to perform the way you like. It's as if you're getting even with him for not being the kind of man that you think he should be."

Sheryl thought about that for a few moments. All of her earlier thoughts about using her sexual experiences to turn the doctor on had long since left her. This was serious stuff, and it demanded her full attention.

"I never thought about it like that."

"So, can you see how unhealthy these relationships are for you? And what about your brother? How would he feel if he found out that you are using Cricket just to disrespect Shawn?"

"That's not the reason I let Cricket fuck me," replied Sheryl defensively. "Weren't you listening to me?"

"Yes, I was, but isn't that the real reason why you're involved with Cricket?"

"No! I fuck Cricket because I like the way he makes me feel."

"But you do like disrespecting Shawn by having sex with Cricket, don't you?" insisted William.

Sheryl wanted to say no, but she knew it would be a lie, and she knew that William would know it was a lie and didn't bother denying it. Instead, she sought to change the subject.

"Can I tell you something else that has to stay in this room?"

"You know I can't repeat anything that you say, even if I wanted to, which I don't."

"Even if it's something illegal?"

"Not even then. The law requires me to maintain doctor patient confidentiality. That is, unless I discover someone is going to me murdered. Why? Are you doing something illegal?"