Chapter 12

Whatever was going to happen, Sheryl only hoped that it would happen fast before the whole world found out she'd been fucking both Cricket and Shawn one right after the other. She also began thinking about making another appointment with Dr. Jameson.

The more she thought about it, the more convinced she was that it would be a good idea to see her Therapist once more before everything blew up in her face.

'Maybe he can give me some suggestions on how I can cope with all this, ' she thought.

Dr. Jameson wasn't particularly pleased when Sheryl called him. He suspected that she'd ignored everything they'd talked about, and now things were coming to a head. He briefly wondered what she expected would come of another session since she always chose to ignore everything he said anyway. Even so, he made room in his schedule to see her the next day. Her life was becoming something that would make a day time TV show, and he thought that at least it might be mildly interesting to see how badly she'd messed everything up.

Fortunately, Sheryl was able to get in to see him right after work so she didn't have to make any excuses in order to avoid Shawn and Cricket.

"I know what you're thinking," she began.

"Oh, really? And what do you think that is?"

"You're thinking that I messed everything up, and now I'm just wasting your time, right?"

"What do you think? Do you think you are wasting either my time or yours coming here?"

Sheryl thought a moment. "Sometimes I think so. I mean, what can you do? It's too late; I already fucked everything up."

"Well, for starters, I can help you understand why you screwed everything up, as you say. Perhaps then, you can find a way to stop making the mistakes you've been making. Besides, just because you think that everything is going wrong, that might not necessarily be the case. So why don't we begin with you telling me what has been going on since the last time we talked?"

Sheryl took a deep breath, and not wanting to see William's face while she explained how depraved things had become, she looked at the floor while she spoke.

She told him how she still couldn't bring herself to give up either Shawn or Cricket, and she told him how she'd spilled the whole story to her friend Georgette. She even told him how Cricket had befriended Shawn and how he was determined to teach him how to be a man.

"Why do you think he is doing that?" she asked, looking up suddenly. "I mean, if he can get Shawn to act more like him, then doesn't Cricket realize that I might not want him around me anymore?"

"Well for one thing, I don't think Cricket thinks Shawn could ever replace him. People like your Cricket have egos so big that such a thing would never even occur to them. But the bigger issue here is that people like Cricket thrive on dominating others. He dominates you both in and out of bed, and it sounds like he is getting off on dominating Shawn too! Think about it. What could possibly be greater for his ego than being able to dominate another man? It would be even more powerful of an aphrodisiac if he could dominate you in Shawn's presence, and visa versa."

"Then what is wrong with me? Why can't I see that, and why can't I seem to stop it?"

All thoughts of playing games with Dr. Jameson like before were gone now. The conversation had become too serious and too close to her feelings for such ideas to even enter her mind.

"The reason why it's so difficult for you to see these things yourself is because you're too close to what's going on. Like most things, it's a lot easier for other people to see while looking from the outside. You're looking from the inside. It's kind of like looking through a window from inside of a house. The only thing you can see is what's in front of the window pane, whereas someone else can see more from outside the house. And as far as what's wrong with you? Sheryl, I assure you; there is nothing wrong with you.

"You just have a problem and you happen to smart enough to recognize that you have a problem. That's why you are here. You don't have any mental illness or defects."

"Oh really? Then why can't I stop? Even though I know Shawn is going to get seriously hurt and Daryl may never get over the idea that I hurt his good friend and think I've become nothing more than a slut, I still can't stop myself!" wailed Sheryl, in exasperation. "How come William? Can you tell me that?"

"It's because you are an addict Sheryl. You can't put it aside any more than an untreated alcoholic can pour out their drink into a sink."

William's answer took her by surprise. She didn't even know such a thing was possible and thought he was completely off the mark.

Dr. Jameson saw the doubt in her face, and said, "Think about it Sheryl. Think about how you were before Cricket came into your life. I remember you telling me how you had your life together. You have your job and a decent place to live; you were saving up your money to get a good car; you were content, and you had definite plans for what you wanted out of life and how you were going to get it. You were a good hearted person, and that was why when Daryl made you feel guilty about not talking to Shawn you quickly gave in and began seeing him.

"That wasn't the beginning of your real troubles though. That just caused a little problem that you needed to think through, a bump in the road so to speak, and then came Cricket. That's when the real trouble began. He slowly began to lead you down this road of depravity, and the further down the road you went, the harder it became for you to turn away from it. It was like a drug. The more you took, the more you wanted, and now you're stuck just like an alcoholic or a drug addict."

The way William explained it, it made sense to her, and after a few moments of silence, Sheryl angrily asked, "How come you didn't tell me all this before?"

"Because when you finally began talking to me about it, you were already well on your way down that road. It wasn't until now that we really had a chance to explore it. Besides, you weren't ready yet. You wouldn't have believed me anyway."

William didn't mention that she had wasted a lot of their time trying to turn him on.

"So how do I get out of it now? How do I stop myself and what can I do to fix things before they all blow up in my face?"

"Well that all depends on you now doesn't it?"

"What do you mean?" Sheryl was both annoyed and surprised by William's reply.

"Well, just like with any other addiction, you need to come to terms with your problem and really want to quit. But, to be honest, I don't think you have reached that point just yet. You have to be presented with a situation that makes you realize that you have no other choice but to turn away from the depravity that you have come to crave."

"Shit, I'm ready to do that now! Just tell me what I have to do."

"It's easy to tell you what to do, Sheryl. The hard part would be for you to do it. I think the first step would be for you to join a support group for sex addicts. You'll find that you're not the only one out there with a problem like this. You'll also find that there are others who had faced the same problems you are facing now. You'll also be given a support partner whom you could call when you begin to get those seemingly uncontrollable urges. That's when the really hard part comes into play. You'll have all of the information you need to make a decision whether to proceed or not and the support to help you make that decision, but nothing will happen unless you make those calls."

Sheryl heard the seriousness that was in Williams' voice and wondered if she could ever see herself actually joining such a support group.