Chapter 5

Weekends were usually pretty boring as well as a bit tiring for Bonnie. David always took the boys out for some father - son time, and she used that time to clean the house, change the sheets, do the laundry and make something special for dessert. Except for an occasional phone call, she could get most everything done without interruption, and she tried to get as much done on Saturdays as she could. David insisted that the house be kept spotless and everything put in its proper place, and Saturdays was her chance to get it that way after the work week. Not that she really minded, she liked to have her house clean and would have kept it that way even if David hadn't insisted.

Bonnie thought of her two friends as she dusted the living room. Shelly's house was usually a disaster. Neither she nor her husband cared for housework, and they did just enough to keep it halfway sanitary ... usually. It was Liz who she was really jealous of. Her house was always clean, but her husband Ed, helped her.

"Oh how I wish David would help out a little sometimes," she lamented, as she tiredly put the second load of laundry into the washing machine. Of course he would never stoop to do anything as menial as "woman's work" as he called it.

She remembered the night she'd asked him to help with the dishes. They'd had some friends over for dinner, and there was a pretty good stack of them piled in the sink, not to mention all of the pots and pans that had to be washed, and it was also pretty late when their friends left.

"Oh Honey, could you please help me with the dishes just this once?" she'd asked.

"Now Hon, you know I don't do dishes."

Not only was his answer abrupt but Bonnie could tell by the tone of it that it was dismissive as well. There was no doubt that he wanted to make sure that the conversation was at an end. However, Bonnie was tired that night, and not wanting to give in so soon, she said, "But David, it's late and I'm really tired. Don't you even care?"

"Of course I care about you!" he'd shouted angrily. "I come home every night after work don't I?"

Bonnie nodded her head and mumbled a, "Yes."

"And I put a roof over your head and food on the table don't I?"

Again, Bonnie shook her head yes, but this time she didn't say anything.

"Well that's how I show you that I care, so the least you can do is your job around here, and keeping the house clean is your job and that includes the dishes! You can't expect me to stand at the sink and do woman's work after doing everything else do you?"

"No ... I guess not." And that was the last time she'd ever asked David to do anything around the house. He did keep the lawn neatly mowed throughout the warmer seasons and the sidewalk and driveway shoveled during those few times it snowed during the winter. That was until Tommy turned eight. That year, he had Tommy helping him, and after he turned nine, taking care of things outside of the house became Tommy's chore. Corey of course, took over Tommy's chore of taking out the trash and recyclables, and now that the two boys were older, they also raked the leaves in the fall.

"I won't have them growing up lazy!" he'd told her when she'd questioned the wisdom of Tommy mowing the lawn by himself.

"The only lazy one around here is you!" she thought, but of course she'd refrained from telling him that. "It wouldn't do any good anyway," she'd told herself. "It would only start an argument, and nothing would change in the end."

That Saturday was particularly hard on her. Not only was she tired from all of the extra work she had to do at the office, but she was still upset over the way David had treated her the night before.

After Bonnie had finished loading the washing machine for the third time, she went upstairs to make some brownies for desert that night and had just gotten the ingredients together when the phone rang. David's mother had always baked everything from scratch, so naturally she had to learn how to do it too. "No boxed mixes for him!" she angrily thought. "Oh no, everything fresh from scratch!"

"Besides, things are cheaper when you cook from scratch," he'd told her once.

"Not always David. There are some things like..."

He didn't give her a chance to finish. "Don't contradict me! Even if there is one little thing out there that might be a little cheaper, it wouldn't be as healthy. Now I don't want to ever see one box of that prepackaged garbage in my house!" And that was the end of that conversation!

"Hello?" Bonnie held the phone against her ear with her shoulder while mixing the dry ingredients in the bowl. Cooking from scratch took longer, and if everything was to be ready on time she had to get an early start getting it ready.

"Hi Hon, the boys and I are going to be a couple of hours late. There's a little league game starting at the other end of the park, and I'm taking the boys over there to watch it. It will be good for Tommy and Corey to see how the other teams play, especially since Tommy's team is going to have to eventually play against them. After the game I plan on taking them out for ice cream before coming home."

"Ok Honey; have fun." That's what she said before hanging up the phone, but what she really felt like doing was throw the phone against the wall!

Looking down at the bowl of flower, sugar, baking powder and the other dry ingredients, she said, "Well, I guess this can wait a little while now."

She noticed how David didn't ask her if she wanted him to bring her home anything. "Well at least he's a good father to the boys," she told herself. She hated to think what would have happened if they'd had a little girl! She could imagine how such a daughter would have been spoiled with material things, but would have been completely left out by those father - son times that he spent with the boys.

"At least that won't happen!" she thought, and she smiled when she thought about the jar up in the cupboard where she kept her birth control pills. She wasn't worried about David finding them either since he never went into the cupboards for anything! Why he wouldn't even get a beer out of the refrigerator for himself!

Bonnie took the load out of the dryer and began folding them while thinking of David and the boys watching the little league game. "A daughter," she mumbled, shaking her head. "Hell, look at you! You're always being left out of the fun!" She looked up from the laundry, and glancing around the room she felt trapped. She was trapped in the house, in her life and to the man she'd married with no chance of escape.

"You're just feeling sorry for yourself," she told herself. "At least David is being a good father, and look at the house you live in and your neighborhood! Just think of how many women out there who would kill to have what you have! Look at poor Sandy! At least David never hits you!" And with that thought, she went back to folding the clothes and was determined to be more thankful for what she had.

Bonnie had everything ready to put on the table as soon as they got home. She knew David would only let them have small cones so it wouldn't spoil their dinner too much. Ham steak, mashed potatoes, carrots and salad with fresh baked brownies for dessert, it was a Saturday dinner to be proud of. Still, she'd spent extra time "flavoring" the cucumber that was in his salad, and though she didn't pee in his freshly squeezed lemonade, she had a good laugh thinking about it.

She was pleased to see that momentary odd look on his face when he started eating his salad, and looking over at their oldest son, he asked, "Tommy. Does your salad taste a little funny to you?"

"No sir."

That was it. That was all that was said during the entire meal, and when it was over they went into the living room to watch television while Bonnie cleared the table and began washing the dishes. She'd asked once if the boys could help her, but David refused to let them saying, "That's women's work. I don't want them doing any of that stuff. What are you trying to do? Make them into a couple of faggots or something?"

Sunday, they all got dressed up and went to church, and Bonnie did her best not to fall asleep during the sermon. Of course, she had to convert to Catholicism before he would marry her. "It's a small price to pay," her mother had told her, when it had first came up.

Now she was trapped in that too, and she hated going to that church. It was the one his parents had dragged him to every Sunday, and now, each week she was being dragged to it. Still, she dutifully sat there every Sunday and went through all the rituals required of her.

Most of all, Bonnie hated going to confession, but David insisted that she went at least once a month anyway. At first, she couldn't imagine what it was she was supposed to be confessing, but after a few times she learned to play it off by telling the priest things like; she'd flipped someone off while driving, or had used a swear word. Occasionally, she toyed with the idea of making up something really juicy just to shock him, but in the end, she didn't dare do anything like that out of fear that it would somehow get out and ruin her reputation. Of course, there was always the thought that she might go to hell for it in the back of her mind also!

Sunday dinner was always either roast chicken, ham or roast beef. That day it was roast chicken, and as Bonnie looked around the large spread on the table with everyone sitting in their chairs while silently eating the dinner, she wished she could just stand up and scream!

"What would Shelly say?" she asked herself. She had to laugh at the thought of her friend sitting there and of what she would do! She'd probably just stand up and call him a dick wad before beginning a conversation whether he wanted to hear it or not. "If only I had the nerve to do that!" she thought.

The idea almost made her laugh, and it gave her enough courage to at least try. "After all, it's ridiculous for everyone to just sit around a nice Sunday dinner without saying a word! That's not what being a family is about!"

With that thought in her head, she cleared her throat and asked, "So Tommy, how'd the ball game go yesterday?"

Poor Tommy looked like he was going to die of shock, and after looking at his father first, he turned back to his mom and said, "Well..."

That was all he got out before David interrupted him saying, "Be quiet Tommy! I don't know what's gotten into your mother, but you know the rules. No talking while at the dinner table!" Then looking at Bonnie, he asked, "What's the matter with you? How can you expect to enforce the rules around here when you break them yourself?"

She couldn't believe how angry he was, and looking at Tommy, she said, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt dinner."

David gave her a dark look, but said no more.

Later, when she was cleaning up the kitchen, she thought about the coming week, and that brought her mind to Greg. It was the first time she'd put any thought towards him since she'd cleared her mind going home on Friday. In fact, she was surprised that she hadn't thought about him during the entire weekend, and she found that that too, bothered her. "After all, I shouldn't be thinking about him hardly at all," she told herself. "I mean, he's just a nice guy who buys me my coffee in the morning and had lunch with me a couple of times." Then looking around the kitchen, she told herself, "This is my real life, here in this house with my husband and my kids."

That made her wonder what Greg would have said about their "silent" dinners and thought that the next time she saw him, she'd ask. "Unlike David, I can talk to him during a meal! Of course, that won't be until Thursday!"

That night, Bonnie slept as far over from David as she could get without falling out of bed, but if he noticed, he didn't bother to say anything about it.

The next morning, Bonnie got up and cooked breakfast as usual. David came down stairs, ate and then left with neither one of them saying a word. All he thought about was what he wanted to get accomplished at the store during the last couple of days before the big inspection. As for Bonnie, she was just glad the weekend was over and that she was able to get out of the house and back to her job.

This time, when David got to work, he found Tracy already there waiting for him. He was particularly surprised since he'd left home earlier than usual.

"I thought I'd come in a little earlier this morning and see if there was anything I could do to help you get things started for the day," she began.

David was pleased, and flashing her a broad smile, he said, "Thank you, but just now, I think I'd like a cup of coffee. You wouldn't mind getting one for me would you?"

Tracy returned his smile and said, "Of course not Mr. Derrelli. I'll be right back."

The donut shop was the only thing open in the mall at that time of day, and it took little time for her to be back with it. By that time, David had already unlocked the gate to the store, and leaving it only partway open to discourage early shoppers from coming into the store, he went to his office and turned on the computer.

This time, she didn't bother giving her little knock on the door before coming in. Her loose blouse was halfway unbuttoned and when she leaned over to put the cup of coffee on the desk, her shirt opened enough where he could see her entire left breast.

"Is there anything else I can do for you Mr. Derrelli?"

David had already burned the image of her young breast into his memory and said, "A ... Tracy. Maybe you should button your blouse up a little more."

She came around the side of the desk replying, "I will Mr. Derrelli. I wouldn't leave it like this with other people in the store, but you don't mind if I stay like this as long as you and I are alone do you? It's much more comfortable this way."