Chapter 14

When Bonnie got home that evening, she found Sandy arguing with Andy on the phone again.

'At least she's on her cell phone and not the house phone, ' she thought. Still, her babysitter was talking loud enough for Tommy and Corey to hear if they were in the same room with her, and Bonnie gave Sandy a dark look.

Sandy caught the look and told Andy she had to go. "We'll talk later."

"Is he going to hit you when you get home again?" asked Bonnie, as Sandy slipped her phone into her purse.

"No," came the expected answer. "He doesn't hit me all the time you know. He only does that when he's really angry or drunk."

Bonnie gave her a look that she hoped said, "Do you hear yourself?"

Sandy ignored the look. "Tommy's outside playing tag with a few of the neighborhood kids, and Corey's over at Billy's house. I told them they both had to be home by six."

Bonnie was relieved to know that her boys weren't near enough to overhear Sandy's argument. Since neither of them was around for the moment, she took the opportunity to talk to her babysitter about her earlier thoughts that morning.

"Sandy, have you ever thought about going to counseling?"

"What do you mean, Mrs. D? Andy's the one with the problem, not me."

"Well, since he can't seem to keep his anger under control or his hands off from you, then it's really your problem isn't it?"

Bonnie could tell that the young woman was going to disagree with her. Therefore, she quickly interrupted her. "And what about Andy? If he can't stop his drinking, then he should go to counseling, too."

"Oh Andy would never agree to that," replied Sandy, forgetting what she was about to say a moment before. "Besides, he says he can quit drinking anytime he wants."

"Well, he's already told you he would stop more than once hasn't he?"

"Yes."

"Then why hasn't he?"

"He says he only drinks because he has a lot of stress on his mind, and he says that I'm always pushing him too hard."

Bonnie thought a moment. She wanted to choose her next words carefully.

"Then why don't you go to a shelter, Sandy. There's a lot of help out there for people like you, and it won't cost you any money either."

Sandy looked down. "I don't know, Mrs. D. I know what you're saying, but Andy needs me, and I need him, also."

Bonnie could easily guess what Andy needed her for, but she couldn't imagine why Sandy needed him! She did her best to look at it from her babysitter's perspective. "But, Sandy, it's ludicrous for you to continue to let him beat you like that. Now, if he really loved you, he'd understand and use the time to get himself together."

"I don't know, Mrs. D," replied the young woman unsteadily, looking down.

"Well, at least think about it, Sandy. You're too smart and too pretty to let yourself stay in a situation like that."

Bonnie took a hard look at the younger woman. Neither of the things she said was true. Sandy had really let herself go. She had bad skin and absolutely no sense of style, and Bonnie couldn't think of a single person she knew who would have thought of her babysitter as "bright". But just then, she figured it was what Sandy needed to hear.

'If she was truly bright, then she wouldn't even be in the situation that she's in, ' thought Bonnie. 'And what's your excuse?' she suddenly asked herself. 'What possible excuse can you come up with for remaining in your abusive relationship?'

As soon as she asked herself that question, Bonnie thought of her two kids. 'For Tommy and Corey, ' she told herself. 'Besides, my parents would never understand.'

Sandy could see that Bonnie was deep in thought. Guessing that the older woman was trying to think of something else to say that would persuade her into going to a shelter, she agreed. "I will, Mrs. D." She was hoping to end the conversation before Bonnie could think of anything else. Then looking up, she quickly added, "I have to go now, so I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

She'd added that last bit just to make sure that she hadn't been fired. After all, it was very obvious to her that Bonnie wasn't pleased at all to find her arguing with Andy again.

Bonnie smiled. Then in a voice that she hoped would reassure the girl, she replied, "Bright and early!"

That evening, Bonnie made pork steaks, carrots, mashed potatoes and a salad for supper. She remembered the look David gave her when she served boiled potatoes instead of mashing them.

"I'll try one last time!" she mumbled, putting the potatoes in the blender. She then added some butter and a little milk, set it on high and whipped the hell out of it! She couldn't help smiling when she thought of when she used to "flavor" his salad! She was half tempted to do it again, but refrained.

"If this doesn't satisfy him, then he can make his own damned mashed potatoes! Or have his Mommy come over and make it for him!"

"Someday," she muttered, watching the potatoes in the blender. "Someday, I'm going to tell him everything I'm thinking!"

Bonnie didn't know why she was so upset with David that day. 'After all, he really hasn't done anything for me to be angry at him. In fact, he's actually been pretty nice to me lately.' Then putting more thought into it, she figured that maybe Sandy's problem was a little too close to her own, and had made her look a little harder at her own relationship than she really wanted to.

"Hi Hon, I'm home," called her husband, shutting the door behind him

Bonnie flashed him a smile and told him the boys were watching TV in the living room. 'Gawd, ' she thought. 'I sound just like the babysitter, giving my report when he gets home!'

"Guys? Time to get washed up for dinner. It smells like your mom's made a good one tonight!"

'I wish he would have said that to me instead of to the kids!' she thought. 'But at least he said it loud enough for me to hear.' Unfortunately, Bonnie knew that saying it loud enough for her to hear was unintentional on his part. 'It's not really his fault. He just doesn't think of those things, ' she reasoned.

If such a thing was possible, Bonnie thought the silence during dinner that night was deafening. 'Maybe because things were going a little smoother, it made the silence worse than before, ' she thought. As the dinner wore on, she found that she just couldn't stand it anymore and coughed just to add a different noise besides the infernal clicking knives and forks against plates.

Corey looked up at her worriedly, and Bonnie winked at her six year old after checking to make sure David wouldn't see it. Corey saw the wink, and he knew exactly why she'd coughed and grinned back at her. He really liked these little secrets they shared, and Bonnie hoped that maybe it would go a long ways in helping later during those rough teen years that lay ahead.

The silence continued until David finally touched his napkin to the corners of his mouth, and the boys asked if they could be excused from the table.

Their father gave them a nod, and they both jumped from their chairs and walked out of the dining room as fast as they could without actually running. David scowled after them, but Bonnie smiled.

"Don't encourage them," warned David, who'd caught the smile. "I'll not have them running around the house like a couple of hoodlums." Then before Bonnie had a chance to reply, he said, "The potatoes were good tonight. I see you finally took my advice and called my mother and asked her how she made them."

Bonnie wondered if she should tell him or not. She wanted to--oh how she wanted to, but things have been pretty good between them, and she didn't want to start anything that she would regret later. "I'm glad you enjoyed them."

'Someday, ' she thought, 'someday!'

That night, David actually wanted to have sex with her, and Bonnie let him. It wasn't much fun for her, 'But then, it never is anymore, ' she thought. Still, David was happy; peace had been maintained in the house, and she was proud of herself.

To Bonnie's relief, Sandy showed up without any more bruises the next day. All Bonnie could do was close her eyes and think, 'Thank God! The last ones had hardly just begun to heal!' Then not wanting to chance saying anything wrong, she hurried out of the house before the young woman could start a conversation.

She thought of Greg while driving to work. She hadn't heard from him and wondered if he would be at the gas station.

He wasn't though, and she wondered if he would be by when she got off for lunch. Then Bonnie wondered what she was going to say to him if he was? She didn't even know if she wanted to go to lunch with him. On the one hand, she felt like she almost needed his company, but at the same time, she knew that the simple fact that she felt like she needed him meant that she shouldn't see him!

'What am I going to do?' she asked herself.

Later that morning, her phone vibrated while she was in the lady's room, and she knew that it was Greg even before looking at the number. It was eleven o'clock, and she wondered if he was calling to make a lunch date.

"Hello?" she asked, haltingly.

"Hi Pretty Lady! Sorry I can't make lunch today, but I'll be coming in tonight. Maybe we can get together tomorrow?"

The very sound of his voice made her heart quicken, and she could feel the adrenalin running through her veins. What was she going to say?

"Hi, Greg, I don't..." she didn't get to finish. The call had abruptly ended.

She thought about calling him back but didn't have a chance before her phone vibrated again.

"Hello?"

"Sorry about that."

Bonnie told him that there was a lot of static, and that she could barely make out what he was saying.

"I'm sorry; I must be in a bad area; we'll talk tomorrow okay?"

The call ended again before she could answer--before she had a chance to explain--before she could tell him that she couldn't see him.

"Well, at least I don't have to worry about having that talk with him today anyway," she thought. "Tomorrow, I'll have to tell him tomorrow."

Bonnie suddenly felt depressed and didn't feel much like eating lunch with her two friends. Then thinking of Shelly, she forced herself to go anyway.